Category Archives: motherhood

Angels Unaware

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p1040172When my OS began his exploration into attending West Point, so did I.

We were about to embark on an exciting journey and I had no clue what he was getting himself and the entire family into!

I was so clueless about West Point, the United States Military Academy, I had to google search west+point.

Where is West Point anyway?

That’s when I found it is far away. Far away as in New York. Far away as in a 10 hour drive, but about 15 hour of driving time if I’m in the car accounting for potty breaks and not including an overnight stay at a nice hotel. Yes, I am ever so slightly high maintenance.

It just so happened the Lord had placed in our lives a great couple, Gigi and Eric. Eric is a professor at West Point and we met here when he was in our state completing his doctorate degree and attending our church and Sunday School class. When the family left for a two year class assignment to Korea, we thought we would never see them ever again, this side of heaven.

But that was not the Lord’s will and soon, they will return to West Point. We will re-connect with them! When our son was accepted at West Point, Eric called us all the way from Korea and lovingly, honestly explained what R-Day was going to be like for us as parents.

In a word – HARD!

After speaking with him on the phone, I literally collapsed on my carpet, unsure of how I was going to handle parting with my treasured boy. And not only saying goodbye but doing it in under two minutes.

99068-photo250Enjoy this picture I took thanks to my Mac Photo Booth aptly conveying my sentiments last year.Very attractive, huh?

Since then we have pressed on. And we have been blessed. We have met amazing people who have extended themselves in ways I never expected. I see how the Lord’s hand has linked us up with caring families who have been there for us and our OS.

For example, Peggie, a West Point mom whom I never met when I called her because we have a mutual acquaintance. Peggie allowed me to cry on her proverbial shoulder. I barely got one sentence out of my mouth, before the Lacrimal Glands got activated. She was such an encouragement and she listened like a mama who’s been there, done that. And she still spoke in full sentences which gave me hope that I could actually live through this experience with some semblance of sanity.

aa0c5-p1070259Then there have been the Hoffman’s who take Nate out regularly when they visit their plebe at West Point. Patti gives our OS an obligatory hug from me and has loved my boy as if he were her own. This family knows no bounds of kindness. Such a beautiful lady who even did an eyebrow trim for my husband when we were all together at Plebe Parent Weekend! I love these people! How many of your girlfriends can you ask to trim your husband’s eyebrows??? Those friends are few and far between!

p1070333Merrily is a gem too. Although recently faced with the loss of her husband, she is a resilient mama of a very fine plebe. That lady is someone that from the minute she called me on the phone one day after communicating via her husband’s blog, I felt an instant connection to and we ended our first conversation saying, “I love you” and meaning it. 

 

And then there’s Kim. Kim works at West Point and she’s a grad. Very huah but in no way obnoxious. Kim understands what it’s like to be a cadet and she’s a mother which is a perfect combination. 

When Nate’s birthday rolled around on April 12th, Kim dropped off in our son’s room, a bouquet of balloons, a big birthday card and an ice cream party certificate. She has offered to take my OS out for pizza, invited him to an Easter dinner, truly extended herself in ways I could have never imagined. And we have only met once when she recognized me at A-Day. I had a broken foot and a scooter, so I was an easy target and she has been reading my blog for a while. I felt so fancy when she came up and introduced herself! Since then, we have kept in touch and when I have offered to reimburse Kim for her generosity, she quickly rebuffs my offer, saying she does these things gladly and free of charge. Oh, how I am blessed!

 
I am reminded of the Scripture found in Hebrews 13:2 “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.” 
 
I reflect on this journey thus far and sometimes can’t believe how fast my son’s plebe year has passed! I praise the Lord because we have survived, occasionally even thrived. We have all learned things about ourselves, our strength, the importance of faith and prayer and developing an extended sense of family. 

 
Y’all, I am meeting angels. Not the fluttering kind with halos and wings but still divine messengers of God who have lighted this path with compassion. I hope you have been meeting some along your way as well, wherever it may be…

A phunny theeng happened while on the way to Bible study…

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Yesterday while driving my son to a teen Bible study, we got stuck in traffic. Just down the street from our house, there had been a terrible accident. Sirens were blaring and it sounded like the entire town’s emergency response teams were in motion.


The police had created an alternate route and Aaron and I joined the long line of cars filling the street. I saw a traffic sign blinking information and wondered if the signs mentioned anything about the accident. I began reading the sign but became confused. I have been reading for a really long time and have an extensive vocab but I couldn’t figure it out. It’s not because I’m stupido either, folks. Heck, I even taught myself to read before I started kindergarten. I started with the Dr. Seuss Cat in the Hat Dictionary and it’s been uphill since then. But still the sign didn’t make any sense. 

So I was reading the traffic sign and this is what it said. 

ROAD CONSTRUCTION BEINGS  – huh???


Thank goodness I had my camera in my car. I had brought it with me because I had a dentist and a doctor appointment and anticipated some bloggable moments. Praise the Lord, I had no worthwhile bloggable moments, glory!

What is a road construction being? Is it a monster like a King Kong? Should we be evacuating the area immediately! YIKES! Run for your life!

But since I am an avid collector of typos, (I have collected them from several countries, thank you very much) I told Aaron, “Quick, get the camera and take a picture!” Aaron took a picture but I didn’t think it was a good enough shot so I did what a fine purveyor of typos does. I did a quick U-turn so we could get back in the traffic to take another one. 

Don’t you think this picture is much better? 


Can I give you a piece of advice? If your middle OS is going to a teen Bible study and he is worried about getting there on time, just know it will tick him off if you turn the car around just to get a picture of a typo. For a short period of time, you will experience tension but he will get over it, especially if you get him there on time. Just a helpful little FYI. Consider that my public service announcement for the day. 
Well, I have to go now. My mom is out of surgery, her wrist has been fixed. I’m sure I’ll have more typos to share in the future…

April 12th

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Nineteen years ago today, I became a mom. At 6:17pm after an expedient but immensely painful four hour labor, without the epidural I begged for, I held a precious cone-headed boy in my arms. My baby. Who cared if he had a cone-head, he was stunningly perfect. And he was mine to love forever. 


Nineteen years later, the head is back to its normal shape and size but he will always be my baby. You know what is even better? He still lets me call him Baby. He even responds to it. My baby who is now a young man. Strong, handsome, honorable, intelligent, funny, the adjectives pour out of me, I am crying as I write this.

My son, aptly named Nathaniel, means Gift of God. And like all good mommies, I have loved this child from the moment I heard I was pregnant and shake my head in wonder how someone like ME and my DH were bestowed with such a blessing.

Today is Nathan’s birthday and it is Easter and he is not here and that kind of stinks for two reasons.

1. I am used to having my son home for his birthday. 
2. I am used to having my son home for Easter. 

As I was decorating my dining room table, tears welled in my eyes realizing there is one less plate around the table. My baby is where he belongs. He is at West Point. 


I don’t want to sound maudlin, although I do really like that word. I also don’t want to look ahead either because I know once my OS has graduated from USMA, he will be serving our country elsewhere. And it’s the “elsewhere” part that can really get my Lacrimal Glands going, if you know what I mean. I don’t need to borrow trouble. 

Like most WP moms/dads/families who celebrate Easter, my cadet is there and I am here. We have to get used to this, buckle up our boot straps, put our big girl panties on, blah, blah, blah, but y’all, I’m still sad and wistful. Thinking back to all the April 12ths where I woke up and hugged my boy tightly as he rolled out of bed, where did that time go? Or the April 12ths when I scooped him up out of his crib wondering if I would ever get a good night’s sleep.  Poof, they are now history.

And as is our family custom, in all the subsequent April 12ths, Nate would have finely festooned presents awaiting him at the kitchen table. One year a Barney, another year a dollhouse (it’s a LONG story and for the record, HE didn’t want the dollhouse), a bike but this year, I sent his presents away. My kitchen table has the Sunday paper and is decorated with crumbs and cereal bowls. Sigh. Poo. 
My friend Beth Anne gave me a present last year as we were preparing for Nathan’s departure to West Point. I have such kind and loving friends, I actually got presents at Nate’s farewell party! But my friend Beth Anne gave me something that will sit atop the dining room table this Easter dinner. I placed it there last night and of course, the Lacrimal Glands activated. They are in full activation mode as I write this, folks. 


To me this little figurine describes how I feel. I hold my Soldier close to my heart wherever he is. Now it’s West Point, one day it will be “elsewhere.” I hold all my OS intimately in my heart and praise the Lord, the other two are still home to annoy/love/pester/snuggle/amuse me.

Today I celebrate two things which have changed my life.  Nearly 2000 years ago, Jesus, the perfect, matchless Son of God rose from the dead to give me and the entire world, eternal life and victory over sin. I asked Him into my heart 12 years ago and have never been the same. 

And the other blessed event happened a fleeting 19 years ago when that same Jesus allowed me to become a mother to my Gift of God. Happy birthday Baby!

My Own Good Friday

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When I was in middle school, back then called junior high, I had a fleeting moment of courage, when I stood up for someone and risked it all. Her name was Carol Plalonski (I have slightly changed her name but it sounded pretty similar) and Carol was the “new girl.”


Not the prettiest girl, Carol was tall, rather clumsy and plain. As I recall, she had a slight curve to her back and her shoulders slouched forward and well, Carol didn’t seem to worry herself about the really important things in life like boys, flavored lip gloss, blue eye shadow and mascara. 

Almost from the moment Carol walked into Jefferson Junior High, she became the target for all pre-pubescent angst and torment. Kids would tape words on her back and she would just lump down the hall while everyone pointed and laughed. Oh, how I hated seeing her with the words “DOG” and “WOOF” affixed to her. I seethed with anger and felt entirely helpless but what could I do? I had my own problems! (See self-explanatory photo)

It was scary because if I did something then everybody might turn on ME and then I would be the source of scorn. But one day, I mustered up the courage and said “enough is enough” and as Carol walked down the hall with one of those words on her back, in a moment of brazen anger, I ripped that nasty message of her back. Whenever I think of myself as being a wimp, I summon up that memory of taking a stand, fighting for the honor of another person and taking a risk.

My middle OS has been doing something similar and today I was deeply blessed to receive a message from a dear mother who wanted to let me know that my son was a fine young man of God. She sent this to me on facebook so now I shall forever use that message as the reason I need to check my facebook 800 times a day, but I digress. 

In typical, yet disappointing 9th grade fashion, some of the guys in my OS’s class are pretty rough on the girls. Countless times my son has come home and told me about the insulting comments his peers say to the ladies in class. One time, a guy ticked Aaron off so badly, Aaron smacked his binder into the guy’s nuts which I believe must have made quite a statement. 


Recently, another freshman girl, Lauren (not her real name) stood up in class and articulated her concern about all the high school drama and tension. She announced that something had to change. Then Aaron, with the teacher’s permission, stood up and addressed his classmates. He challenged the guys in the class to “step it up” and start acting like “real men.” I only learned about this after the fact when Aaron came home and said he had a cool story to tell. He hadn’t planned on doing that but I guess he had his own “Carol Planonski” moment.

Now he and his friend Zack have begun a freshman Bible Study on Wednesdays. Boys that previously sat outside the classroom and chided the kids, actually attended this week. Aaron’s charisma and transparency with his own struggles are making a difference. This week when a classmate began teasing one of the girls about her really curly hair, Aaron turned around to the kid, looked him dead in the eyes and said, “Andrew, shut up!” Normally I do not condone those words but I believe, in this instance, they qualify as “words aptly spoken.” (Proverbs 25:11)

This mom wrote me to say that her daughter is amazed how the Lord is leading through Aaron and Zack. Her daughter can’t wait for the Wednesday Bible Study and it is showing her that God can use just one person to “change the tide.”

As our family prepares for Easter Sunday, I can truly say that it is a Good Friday. To God be all the glory and honor and praise. 

The bruise from "you know where"

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Last Friday, my oldest OS was trying to be a nice guy so he went to give blood at West Point. While there, the nice lady asked him if he wanted to give blood or platelets. My OS said, “blood” but then the nice lady suggested he give platelets because they help more people. Being a nice guy, he threw caution to the wind and agreed. He had no idea he would soon regret his decision. 

They inserted the needle and the process began. It was taking longer than he expected and Nate noticed that his arm began to hurt. It hurt just a little bit but then the pain increased to the point where he summoned one of the attendants. Immediately they took out the needle and shortly thereafter my son left the center.

He called and told me that he had given platelets. I complimented him on being such a humanitarian and caring about others. Then he said his arm was hurting and he had a bruise.

I have given blood (for medical tests) and I too, have had some minor occasional bruising. My DH is a regular blood donor. We like helping others and believe giving blood is a very good thing. Being a dutiful mom, I casually mentioned that I was sorry he had a bruise. Poor baby. 

Then he called me a couple of days later and said his arm was still hurting and he still had a bruise. “Ok,” I thought to myself, “that stinks but those things happen.”

Yesterday he sent me an email. This time he included a picture. It was of his arm. And the “bruise.” 

HOLY SMOKES!!!!! That’s not a bruise, that’s a 
SUPER MEGA, GARGANTUAN, OFF THE HIZZY SUBDERMAL HEMATOMA!!!

It looks like after Nate gave blood someone ran over his arm with a truck! And then put the truck in reverse and ran over the arm again!!! This picture was taken five days after he had given platelets!
My eyes bulged out of my head when I got the picture. Without a second thought, I googled American Red Cross. I got the number and called to get some advice. Honestly, I wanted to drive all the way to West Point, pick up my boy, his mangled arm and take him to Panera Bread because that makes everything better. I wanted to take care of him but it’s a 10 hour drive. They suggested he see a doctor (yeah, right) and apply warm and cold compresses to the bruised area (yeah, right).

Apparently it’s true, these things happen. They said my son’s veins might not have been able to tolerate the procedure. My OS who excels at nearly everything, apparently did not do so well when giving platelets.

It stinks too, because he has a very important upcoming physical fitness test and he has been unable to work out since his arm has been hurting so badly.

And everyone is noticing his disfigured arm. He’s in class and his fellow cadets say, “Zheesh, man, what the heck happened?” or “Dude, what did you do to your arm?” or other things I have chosen not to print because they contain cuss words and some Army guys cuss. 

My OS was complaining to one of his roommates about his arm and at first his buddy thought Nate was exaggerating a bit. Then he saw how Nate’s entire arm was covered in these horrible hues of red, blue, purple, green and mustard yellow and realized Nate wasn’t being a baby. 

I completely support being a blood donor but I like my boy’s arms in their normal, lovely flesh-colored tones.

Adventures in Babysitting, Part One

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I warned them the minute I walked through the door. “If any of you here do anything crazy or cute, I WILL blog about it!” I have been blogging for a while so my family knows I mean business. I’m always on high alert looking for a bloggable moment. Armed with my computer and my camera, I was ready and my subjects were willing participants as you will soon see.


This morning I got to babysit my two darling nephews and my mother. My mother broke her wrist very badly on Saturday and will need surgery on Tuesday. She is pitiful, quite honestly and needs some supervision right now because there’s not a lot she can do by herself. While awaiting surgery, she is convalescing at my sister’s. So since Mimi aka Grandma’s unable to care for the boys on her own, I volunteered to watch the kids so my pregnant sister and her husband could go to her doctor appointment. 

I would not say I am a natural when it comes to babysitting but this aunt stuff is money (you will recall from a previous post, money means “good.”) I didn’t get paid in money but in laughs, snuggles and a poopy diaper. It was strange but appropriate “currency.”

I have a lot more to post but since I’m trying to learn iMovie, I thought I’d give a stab at making a little film about my time. Hope you enjoy, I sure did! 

True Confessions – I am not a perfect mom, I don’t have a perfect family

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It might sound like I’m patting myself on the back or something but I’m not. It’s just that this weekend, my DH and I had an epiphany. We re-learned some ancient truths I must seek to remember all the time and I want to share them with you. It’s good to feel like I’m in the TMZ (Total Mama Zone). Click here to read about another time I felt like I was in the TMZ. 

Our family has been very fussy lately and that’s putting it politely. It’s almost Easter but it seems like we have been walking around on eggshells for a while. Every single one of us seems poised for a battle. Not constantly but consistently, I have been discouraged about the tension and intensity displayed in my family, maybe with the exception of our oldest OS and his only excuse would be that he’s at West Point dealing with his own issues! Just being real here. 

Saturday night we had a family meeting. We gathered around the dinner table and aired our grievances. I thought I was the only with the legitimate issues but it became apparent that Aaron and Ike had been itching for a chance to get a few things off their adolescent chests too. I don’t mean to say they were rude, it’s just that they needed to voice some concerns they, too were having with the way our household was being run.

Truly the Lord blessed the time. There was no anger, no bitterness. We engaged in healthy, respectful conversation. Dare I say, I think we even negotiated a little. And here are some of the things that I realized.


Children like boundaries. Duh. I see kids all the time that have no supervision. Our guys are well-monitored but they still needed more boundaries in some areas of life. 


Children like bedtimes. Even at age 14 and 12. When things are loosey–goosey around here, we fall apart. Isaac even commented, “I want a bedtime!” No eruptions or hissy-fits, things became instantly calmer which shocked and blessed me.  These bedtimes are not rigid so there is some flexibility but in our family, frankly, we all need bedtimes, including the Hubs and me.  

Children like knowing what’s expected of them. I will soon blog about two “seminars” I have conducted with my OS which were met with some level of joy. Not oozing, over the top joy but it was surprisingly fun!


Children like security. They like it when Mom and Dad get along and seem to be able to work things out. Mom and Dad get along when Mom thinks the kitchen is clean and things are running efficiently. Dad likes it when there’s no yelling. Both attainable goals that give our home a sense of normalcy, even though we pride ourselves on being a little weird.

After the meeting, the DH announced that any good meeting has food. While the boys cleaned the kitchen, he ran out and got our favorite ice cream. Our meeting was a success! 

I leave you today with a verse of Scrip- ture which as usual, has relevance in our daily lives…”Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

Raising a strong family isn’t the easiest thing but I’m glad we are putting in the time to try, with God’s help, to do it the best way we can.

Note to self- Don’t go to the dentist on April Fool’s Day

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I rank going to the dentist right up there with going to the proctologist. Considering I have been to both in the last year (TMI???), I know from whence I speak. 


Today I got three cavities filled. Yay for me! I loathe going to the dentist and have delayed the appointment by two years. My dentist is a qualified and perfectly nice person, it’s just that I avoid anyone doing anything in my mouth nearly at all costs. The drills. The smells. The sounds. Ew. 

It is not an understatement to say I LOATHE the dentist. Yes, I have written this twice and it might sound redundant. It’s not. It’s called emphasis, people! I’m the kind of patient you don’t want to see on your appointment list. I saw the computer screen and it said I was “high involvement.” That was supposed to mean someone who has three cavities and needs some deeper tooth cleaning but as they learned, I took “high involvement” to a whole new level.

Every time I go to the dentist, I feel it is my duty to inform them how I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY don’t want to be there. 

But my mother has served as my inspiration. She has learned the hard way. Tens of thousands of dollars were poured into trying to save her teeth to no avail. She had nine teeth pulled in the last year. She has a denture on top and a bridge on the bottom. My admiration for her has skyrocketed because of all that she’s been through. I do not want this to happen to me. 

Her “favorite” part was right before Christmas when she had six teeth pulled out all at once while she was sick. The day after the procedure, she was coughing her head off with poorly fitting dentures and a new bridge. She tried valiantly to shove those dentures back up in her raw mouth and spent three and a half days at the hospital with pneumonia. I followed the ambulance to the hospital! I vividly recall her agonizing attempts to cram those babies (dentures) in her mouth while trying not to die. Talk about multi-tasking! Talk about a blog post! OY! 

Today, as usual, it took a lot of Novacaine and time to adequately numb my mouth. Oh how I detest needles.  I didn’t feel much better even when she stealthily hid the needle just before jamming it into my gums. 

We tried the laughing gas today too. Having tubing going up my head and having prongs in my nostrils isn’t relaxing, btw. I felt like an electric plug which was a new experience for me. Anxiety beset so we readjusted the stupid thing. I’m not sure it worked. I am sure it was expensive. I think I was my dentist’s April Fool’s Day joke. 

Then while driving I started to feel sick. Not sick like a fever. Sick like nauseated. I took my mom to the doctor and ran into the medical office building. After emptying the entire contents of my stomach into the potty and having momentary loss of bladder function, (TMI???) I emerged wanting to write a haiku about the miserable experience.

Here it is…

Dentist, three cavities
Novacaine, nitrous oxide
Barfed misery

I haven’t written a haiku since high school but it seemed like the right thing to do. I have to go back to the dentist tomorrow because I’m having pain when I bite down on things. I feel another haiku bubbling to the surface. Hopefully that will be the only thing. 

I love Scrabble, yes I do

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Scrabble is a great game for a word hound. I have loved Scrabble since I was in high school.

For Christmas one year, my parents aka Santa got me a French Scrabble game. I was the only one in my family who could play the game and so I played both sides of the board. Naturally I won and I know it might sound weird but I had a lot of fun. J’aime tous les mots ! I love words! While my plebe was home on Spring Break, guess what game he wanted to play with me? 

Here’s a very obvious clue.

 “Mom, do you want to play a game of Scrabble with me tomorrow?”
GAAA! Everything else I thought about doing the next day was quickly crossed off the list. My boss was going to call me, who cares? I would gladly and respectfullyblew the guy off and I told him so when he called me. I wasn’t going to pass up this opportunity. My son, my boy wanted to hang with me! And not only that, he wanted to play the world’s best game! Woo hoo!
I stink at most board games. I think Monopoly is fun but I don’t like how people try and scheme each other out of all their money. I like Battleship but my heart really sinks when someone destroys my ships. Sorry is a good game too but I’m sorry, that game should be called Spite as far as I’m concerned.
But Scrabble, that’s my game. That’s money as they say in high school.

And to crank it up a notch, I told my boy that not only would I play Scrabble with him but I was also going to cream him, basically “own” my OS in the process.
We went out for sushi and I felt like the luckiest girl with my miso soup, unagi (eel) and California roll with Nate.
With our tummies full of tasty delights, we headed back home for the duel.
The game started innocently enough but then the game got personal. Our obvious fondness of each other was replaced with raw competition.
If you have ever played Scrabble, you know how awful it feels to have a bunch of “bad” letters. But did I let it get me down? A casual Scrabble user might have wanted to quit. I mean, what do you do when you have this?

Let’s face it, 2 u’s, 3 o’s, one “a” and an “i” is a challenge. But I’m no Scrabble quitter. As I surveyed the board, I spotted a really amazing word. Do you see it?

 I spelled the word LUAU! I didn’t get a lot of points but the feeling of accomplishment was pretty stinking incredible.

The game proceeded and we both impressed each other with our word skills. But soon, to my astonishment, I pulled ahead. And I took pictures in the process just to rub it in.
Nate was tired so maybe that’s why I beat him. I had my highest score yet. I don’t care why I won, it was thrilling to beat my smart OS.
Final Scores:
Nate: 196
Me: 287

Take a look at the final board at the top of this post and check out all the cool words we used!

Smiles are everywhere

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While at West Point for Plebe Parent Weekend, we were continually impressed with the amount of things our son was learning. At this hallowed institution, it’s pretty incredible to think that our OS’s teachers know him personally and in this case, that’s not a bad thing or the exception.


We are on our best behavior as we toured the stately buildings replete with history and patriotism. I mean how can you act the fool when you have statues of Dwight D. Eisenhower, General MacArthur and other distinguished leaders all over the place staring back at you! 

But it was in Nate’s barracks, just prior to meeting his gf (and she’s quite a young lady!), our favorite plebe revealed a hidden talent, something he had learned from a fellow Soldier. 

Apparently during Beast all plebes learned to roll their socks in tight little balls. Not being content with mediocrity, however a fellow Soldier/prior service plebe showed our OS how to take his socks to the next level.


And that meant to make his socks smile. Even if Nate wasn’t able to make his face grin during Beast, his socks looked happy. 

His fellow Soldier/roommate taught him how to roll his t-shirts too. “It looks neater,” our plebe beamed. Ok, he didn’t exactly beam but we did as he demonstrated his new found talent. 

As Nate shows off his folding skills, I’m also happy to debut my first iMovie. Hope you enjoy! 

May you and everything in your drawers be deliciously joyous today!   
PS. I have no idea why the movie is yellow. Guess I’ve got a lot to learn!