Category Archives: love

Appreciating Nate

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Sandwiched between a Soldier and an orange hair, freckle face OS = pre-sushi joy

My Soldier came home for the weekend. To find him fast asleep in his bed Saturday morning felt like a bowl of slightly melted, premium vanilla ice cream with warm butterscotch and multi-colored sprinkles on top.

We ate sushi at our favorite place and stuffed our faces.

Oh my, Nate is a funny fellow.

And he encounters so many characters, there’s never a dull moment. I honestly think if the whole Army officer thing doesn’t pan out or the West Point degree with a major in comparative politics amounts to nothing, my oldest OS could hit the comedy scene with his own schtick. And his material would all be true, no exaggeration necessary. While at dinner, Nate demonstrated how his pastor, a WP grad himself, is a BIG fan of gestures. Basically every sentence is punctuated with a dramatic bodily motion. I thought a piece of rice was going to fly out of my nose!

We promised Nate we would eat here if he drove nine hours to come home = totally worth it!

My oldest OS’s stories about sunflower seeds are equal parts disgusting and delightful. I’ve been hearing sunflower seed stories for years now. It’s a smart Soldier’s alternative to chew or cigarettes.

These two people had no idea how the Lord was going to change and bless them. Three olive shoots and almost exactly 25 years later, we are still a work in progress but rejoice over what Jesus has done in our lives.

Before we ate dinner, Nate got our family’s attention and offered a toast. The Hubs and I will be married 25 years on Wednesday. The toast and acknowledgement of our pending celebration were just more signs that our OS is a man.

But you know what is really cool? He still lets me call him “Baby.” Not gf “Baby” but mom-speak “Baby.” He allows me (sometimes) to place my head on his broad back and just be near him. When I grab his biceps, which seem to get more muscular each time I see him, he flexes for added bravado. He is patient with my shenanigans too. In other words, he lets me be his mama. He’s not too cool, well-traveled, intellectual or strong to still grant his mother a moment to remember, savor and appreciate.

The car drove away this morning, too soon. A weepy mom stood on the driveway, her heart full of love and thanksgiving which btw, will probably be the next time we see him. Thanks Baby for letting me scoop up more memories. Until next time,

“The Unveiling” part two of birth, beads and a baby

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I’m not sure when I gave the Hubs his birthing necklace. My hunch is immediately. Who could blame me? Wouldn’t you? The authentic “African bone” pieces were carefully selected by my flea market friends in their humble country showroom. Corresponding beads tastefully matched the turquoise orbs in my own necklace. And the manly black beads of alternating sizes, well it was nearly Zulu warrior-esque. Mark must have felt a surge of testosterone when I handed him the silk bag. He deserved this gift and I couldn’t wait to see his response.

18 years later

Now 18 years later, the Hubs describes the moment as “awkward” and “conciliatory.” Btw, “conciliatory” is a word he most certainly cannot spell. But what was he to do? He draped it around his neck and hoped for the best.

“I believe this moment is equally ‘awkward’ and ‘conciliatory.'”

On August 30, 1994, I went into labor while at work. I had lunch with a client at the Chili’s on Glenwood Avenue and warned her that I was having contractions. As the lunch progressed, so did labor. I paused through the pain and eventually called the Hubs and told him to meet me at the doctor’s office. Shortly thereafter, my client called to tell him to pick me up from the restaurant. I wasn’t going to be able to drive.

We floored it to the OB/GYN where it was abundantly clear Aaron would soon join the world.

Before leaving work, however the Hubs called my mom and told her to get to the hospital urgently. My mom was working at a department store in the jewelry department. Note the irony. Though she had many baubles to choose from, none would suffice. My mom told the Hubs she had to first go home. She didn’t have her necklace.

And you know what she did? That blessed woman booked it all the way to her house, placed that treasure upon her neck with little time to spare and walked into the hospital room per her daughter’s orders.

In a wistful moment, during work, sometimes the Hubs will just wear his birthing necklace and remember those blissful times :&

So what happened to Mark’s birthing necklace? Where was mine??? After all that travail and travel, my plans were thwarted and Mark’s prayers were answered. Both birthing necklaces were at home on that hot summer afternoon. My mother was the only one who wore the necklace! Without a second thought, my middle OS popped out with great gusto. He’s been tearing it up ever since.

“I’ve been tearing it up ever since!”

We recently had a dinner party with our pastors and church friends. We played Think-ets and I drew the “bead” trinket. Here’s the link to Think-ets and their new low price! I told them all the story and rushed upstairs to show them the actual necklaces lest they think I was exaggerating for the sake of a good story. You should have heard them all erupt into laughter mixed with pity mixed with relief that they had never faced such a jewelry dilemma.

One day Aaron will get our necklaces. I’d love to think of something special to do with them. If you have an idea, please share. They are emblems of love, devotion, marriage, family and overall weirdness. Thanks for being born Aaron, you have adorned us all with blessings. I love you and miss you. mama ❤

Someone “forgot” his necklace for the picture

Birth, beads and a baby, part one

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“Ok, so I let you take pictures of me with your homemade dolls. Isn’t that enough, Woman?”

There are certain family stories you just don’t share. There are other stories which become legendary. This one is a toss-up but for posterity sake, I must pass it along.

“Mom, are you really going to do this to my brother on his b-day???”

It’s my middle OS’s 18th birthday today I’m going to embarrass him/myself and anyone else I can by telling this story. I love Aaron desperately. It’s his first birthday away from home at Moody Bible Institute. BLECH! Truly, Aaron brings immeasurable joy to my life and since his conception, this guy has been making me weirder by the day. Read on for the deets.

While pregnant with my middle OS, I began to love beads. And I mean LOVE. On many Saturday mornings, you’d find me at the flea market pining over ways to make unique jewelry. Actually I never made it myself but some mother/son flea marketeers pieced together my baubles in their simple tented outdoor booth. It was a win-win situation though we were a strange trio to be sure. They lived together in a cramped trailer home in rural North Carolina and didn’t get much exercise, I was a then career-minded, super busy, suburban mama raising a family in a middle class neighborhood near Raleigh.

I believe these three beads represented each trimester…

As my due date approached, I was insistent that beads become a central theme in the delivery, second only to my pending OS. Beads were symbolic of fertility and womanhood. According to my birth plan, everyone with the exception of medical personnel had to wear beads if they wanted to see Aaron enter the world.

The Hubs didn’t/doesn’t have an impressive jewelry stash. If you add marbles, you might say that his bead collection was scant at best. But being the ever dutiful wife, I wanted to resolve his burdensome problem.

I’m not sure what these represented but they represented something!

One afternoon I set off to personally visit the mother/son duo. They had told me they had an even vaster selection of beads at their home and many more masculine beads to choose from. It was now close to my delivery and I was determined. Aaron wasn’t going anywhere until his daddy had a bead necklace to wear for the big day. The miles I logged on that mini-van were astounding. At times I thought about giving up but how could I do that to my incredible husband and precious Aaron still stuck in the womb? I finally arrived and spotted the ramshackle trailer off a dusty, unpaved road. It had taken much longer to get here but Mom and Son were waiting for me.

We all waddled into the showroom. It was similar to a greenhouse only filled with a million or so beads. I noted the selection. Daunting. How could I choose? It had to be perfect and I wanted something to match the overall color scheme and mood of my necklace.  After great thought and with my bead friends’ approval, I found the perfect pieces. For added manliness, I even included a few African bone beads. The Hubs was going to love it. They knotted and strung them all together and even gave me a satin gift bag. We all smiled and waved as I backed up my mini-van leaving a trail of dust in the midst. Mission accomplished…

“Um, thanks Mom?”

Here’s the link to Olive Shoot Institute and the aforementioned dolls. Stay tuned for part two, we’ll call it “the unveiling…”

Twice in a summer

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We argue. We fight. We disappoint each other and intentionally do things to annoy. These are some of the rather unsavory characteristics of my family.

On occasion our clothes are left on the ground, someone “forgets” to empty the dishwasher, the carpet needs vacuuming and the kitchen floor hasn’t seen a broom in a few days.

We battle big things too in this house…depression, anxiety, temptation and Ambien, to name a few.

But then there are these halcyon moments –

And it’s like one of us is a polished diamond

And we get it right

I didn’t grow up going to church. Raising a Christian family means so much to me. Sitting next to one of my guys makes it even sweeter.

Maybe not for the whole day, for that might be too strenuous

But for a snapshot of time, we experience a flash of heaven

Which is what happened Sunday morning…

Aaron helping lead worship. He did a great job and found it to be a very emotional experience.

It was Aaron’s last Sunday at church before leaving to attend college in Chicago. This summer Aaron has acted as one of our church’s interns. For a small church of about 50 people, I must say, they put my OS to work like a boss. In addition to holding a paid, part-time job as a pool attendant, Aaron had many church projects to accomplish. Whereas many nearly 18-year-old young people are majorly chilling the summer before going off to school, Aaron has been learning Greek, reading church leadership books and writing reports about them. Aaron worked tirelessly compiling a hymnal for our church filled with rich, beautiful hymns that are still reverent and true. Each time my OS showed me progress on this hymnal, he beamed with excitement and joy. Aaron and the two other summer interns led an entire church service and my middle OS was so moved by the experience, he ended up in tears before our small congregation recently one Sunday morning. Incidentally as a result, most of the congregation was equally emotional especially the mama with pink highlights in her hair = me!

The three pastors poured into our boy’s life and gave him a glimpse into how to truly minister and shepherd a flock of people. They showed Aaron the inner workings of a healthy church body, how to receive feedback before and after the sermon (something I’ve never heard of pastors doing before attending this church). Through their personal investment in my OS’s life, Aaron is developing into a vibrant and active young leader.

And on Sunday, our pastors blessed him in a grand way before sending him off to the Windy City. Although the Hubs and I knew about this previously, it came as a surprise to Aaron when he was asked to come up to the front of the church. Jerry, one of our pastors, explained to the crowd that Aaron was leaving to attend Moody Bible Institute and this would be his last Sunday with us. He then asked the men of the church to come forward and to pray over my boy. It wasn’t creepy and it didn’t offend my former feminist ways in case the mere thought of this bristles you.

Twice in a summer I have witnessed a moment like this.

My sandy-haired boy bowed his head and I realized at that moment, wow, this is the second child in a summer that I have seen kneeling before Jesus and his followers. (Click here to read about the first time with Nathan). We weren’t at West Point; we were in the suburbs of North Carolina but another one of my olive shoots was submitting his life to the Lord and receiving from His people, words of blessing and protection. Honestly, I think the statistics for something like this happening twice in a summer are quite small. And when I consider my wretchedness, I think it is nothing short of miraculous that something this beautiful could happen to me as a mother. And furthermore, this is the second time the orange hair, freckle face OS has laid hands on a brother and helped usher him into a new season of life. Not your everyday, run of the mill brother stuff but something lofty, holy and lovely.

The prayer didn’t last too long, no one spoke in tongues, snakes were not handled. 😉

Seeing godly men praying for my olive shoot, thank you Jesus for this glorious moment. That’s my orange hair, freckle face guy in the black shirt, his hands on his bro.

As the prayer finished and the men made their way back to their seats, Pastor Rob asked Aaron to stay up front for a moment.

And that’s when they gave Aaron another gift as if the gift of prayer, love, protection, shepherding, accountability and manly, godly leadership weren’t enough.

Sitting next to my boy one last time before college, Aaron getting his hymnal, the actual hymnal

He sweetly handed my boy the very first copy of our church’s new hymnal. The project Aaron had devoted hours on was finished and my OS got first dibs. Aaron hugged our pastors fiercely and shined like a diamond holding that hymnal in his hand. He sat down next to me and while he began flipping through the pages, I patted his knee, tears in my eyes. As sad as I think Aaron might feel about leaving his family, I think he feels even sadder leaving his church. He will be a part of our fellowship even if he’s thousands of miles away.

Here’s one of Aaron’s favorite songs, Jesus, Savior Pilot Me which can be found on page 82 in our hymnal. Surely I will think of the precious child who sat and snuggled next to me even as a teenager each Sunday morning. As a benefit of birthing this fine olive shoot, I too, was handed a copy of the hymnal which Aaron will be signing for me. I cherish it already. (Btw, yes, I’m crying while writing this.)

This is a cool song. Beautiful, timeless words. ❤

So today, we’ll see how it goes. One of us might be grouchy. The Hubs and I might bicker, the guys might not initiate folding the mounds of laundry. We are alas a very human bunch. Still, I will praise the Lord. I will exalt His name. I will rejoice in the blessings I am given, those moments when we transcend our selfishness, stubbornness and foolishness and I see extraordinary beauty in the land of the living. May it be so with you and those you love as well. ❤

And the winner is…!

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Today the orange hair, freckle face OS is home sick from school. He’s been battling a nasty virus for about five days now and having a rough time.

In between naps, coughing and headaches, I had Ike help me select the winner of my Think-Ets give-away. As I was preparing all of the names for the drawing, I thought how much I would like each of the people to win. Thanks for participating, I plan on doing more of these things again.

So here are the incredibly exciting results…the elderly and those with heart ailments, should please sit down before viewing…

KIM HANSEN IS THE BIG WINNER! SHE’S A USNA wife but still a super person!
Think-Ets party games edition, oh yeah!

It’s pretty cool that Kim won because her husband is a Navy grad. I believe her winning shows how magnanimous Army folks can truly be and the occasional harmony experienced between military branches. We could have picked another name but we didn’t and that says a lot about Ike and me, right?

This is a seriously eclectic collection of doodads. I want to hear how people use these at my next party! Think of the possibilities and all the stories even in your own life! Fun, fun, fun!

My own Think-Ets Party Games Edition arrived in the mail today I’m bringing it to Chicago for yet another graduation party we’ve got planned in the near future!  I’m already intrigued by the cool contents and I hope Kim Hansen and her family have many hours of fun playing with these!

I'm packing this to play with the younger members of my extended family. Please Lord, let me beat them all. Ayyymen

The creative folks also sent me a copy of Story Speller which I will also be packing to play with my younger cousins, nieces and nephew in the area hopefully while eating some Italian beef sandwiches with extra juice and sweet peppers!

I’m packing this to play with the younger members of my extended family. Please Lord, let me beat them all and help all my opponents not be jealous of all of my brains. Ayyymen

Congratulations Kim!

The party guest I invited

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Some of the decorations outside

Over 100 people came to my middle OS’s college send-off party.

It was a beautiful celebration and I just revelled in God’s goodness as I looked at the crowd.

I recall my high school graduation party and it was nothing like this one.

Mine had a keg of beer, Michael Jackson music and I remember my tube top falling down unexpectedly. Someone had yanked on it and whoops, there it fell right by the kitchen door leading out to the backyard.

I nearly died of embarrassment but shrugged it off because bursting into tears is just plain gauche for a burgeoning French major.

Possibly one of the sweetest sights at Aaron’s party is this one. People pausing to pray for my son. Such a tender moment, thank you precious family and friends.

Aaron’s bash was nothing of the sort…No booze, (none necessary) folk music, Christian fellowship and everyone remained fully clothed to my knowledge. 😉

Among the treasured guests were our current church family, close personal friends, extended family, pastors, friends from our old churches, some of Aaron’s former teachers and classmates that were in choir and drama together.

Our pastor spoke a beautiful prayer just before dinner which was a gift in itself.

We ate Chicago style hot dogs from Sonic, Chicago style pizza from Rosati’s and filled in with healthy food like cranberry quinoa salad, lentils and jasmine rice, marinated mozzarella, watermelon juleps and other lovely treats.

All the hard work paid off seeing the faces of people who obviously loved my olive shoot and felt cared for by him as well. Afterward, I told Aaron it was like a wedding but no wife and no sex. He wasn’t sure how to respond but appreciated the sentiment and just chalked it up to another one of Mom’s awkward sayings of which he has quite a collection.

Oh yes, knit Chicago style hot dogs and knit Chicago style pizza slices!

But in the back of my mind throughout the preparations and during the actual party, when I allowed myself to think,

I remembered that a year ago on this same day marked my grandma’s last full day on earth.

That is a very hard thing to process when one is getting ready for a party, I assure you. Myriad emotions wafted in and out.

I loved her so much, she was so dear to me.

She profoundly loved my babies.

How had I even survived this year without her?

Step right up and get your picture taken with Aaron in front of the Sears Tower!

It was a Chicago theme celebration since our ministry-minded OS is going to Moody Bible Institute in the heart of the Windy City. As many of you who have been reading my blog have noticed, I built a Sears Tower (I refuse to call it Willis Tower) in my family room.

Each guest got a picture with Aaron in front of our own homemade indoor skyscraper and I chuckled to see small lines of families getting ready for their turn in front of the impressive structure.

And in my own way, unbeknownst to most people, I secretly invited my grandma to the party.

She had to be a part of the night and oh how Grandma loved to party. The poor woman couldn’t cook worth a darn but she was an enthusiastic and memorable party guest. Young and old alike loved it when Grace was coming over. She had a way of getting a party started as many will attest.

My orange hair freckle face OS and his great grandma. She made everyone smile.

And that’s what I did.

I took her to the party.

It was hard to do but I wore her Chicago Cubs shirt to my OS’s celebration.

It didn’t matter that it wasn’t especially flattering or that it slightly clashed with my skirt, I wanted my grandma there with me.

I also wore her high school necklace which rarely leaves me. And I ate some hot dogs. Grandma ate like a bird but loved hot dogs.

Grandma joined the celebration last night. She would have had a blast even if she had some Alzheimer’s, rarely wore her hearing aids and needed a cane. Heaven is the only thing that stopped her from making an appearance and if my grandma is with Jesus, I completely understand her not wanting to leave the ultimate celebration.

All of us, Nate is even in the picture. And I’m wearing my grandma’s Chicago Cubs t-shirt

As the night drew to a close and August 5th soon approached, more tears fell from my tired eyes.

The one year anniversary of my grandma’s passing had now arrived.

I saw my family’s facebook statuses change and their profile pictures show photos of them with Grandma.

I was not alone in missing her.

And those tears mingled with the tears of joy I experienced toward my treasured OS. I can scarcely take it all in today but all is well.

I miss her.

I love her.

I will miss my boy.

How many people can say they have done the YMCA at their grandma’s 80th birthday party? And how many can say that later on in the night, they danced a conga line through their aunt’s house with that same grandma? I did both and will treasure those times forever!

I love him.

I praise the Lord for all the tears, all the people, all the kindness, all the sadness, all the memories, all the love, truly I am blessed on this most notable day.

These two people were crazy about each other.

PS. In honor of my grandma who loved to party, remember to enter my give-away for a fun party gift! I’ll draw a winner tomorrow! Leave a comment on this page if you want to be entered in.

Taa daa! Construction is complete!

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“Look at me holding a glue gun next to my very own Sears Tower!”

Tomorrow is Aaron’s party and today we finished our Sears Tower.

Aside from knowing my OS are walking with the Lord, I can think of no greater joy than seeing my boys at home in the kitchen and handily wielding a hot glue gun. I’m a simple woman, don’t ya know?

Note the skill and concentration on this guy’s face

As Aaron was attaching the last story to our very own indoor Sears Tower, I proudly announced to him, “You are going to make a very fine husband one day.” He will be quite a catch, ladies, I assure you. Martha Stewart would be so proud!

If you have a beautiful, godly daughter who likes crafts and is between 17-19 years old, feel free to send me her resume and upon approval, I will have my OS contact your daughter to schedule a wedding in a few years. I thank you in advance. Gotta run and do some more things for the big event, we’re getting ready to par-tayyyy!

Teamwork

Excuse me, ma’am, but is that the Sears Tower in your living room?

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Our forays into hospitality continue this weekend. We are busy preparing for another big event. Saturday night we will have about 100 people filling our humble home. It is Aaron’s college send-off party and there’s a lot to do to get ready.

My middle OS Aaron in his element serving others and the Lord he loves

Aaron will attend Moody Bible Institute and to pursue a degree in ministry with desires to be both a teacher and a pastor. Have you ever seen your kids doing something you know they were meant to do? My middle OS helped lead the church services on Sunday and he looked so at ease in front of our congregation, I just had to shed a few tears out of the pride and joy that settled in my mama’s heart. The Lord is doing some wonderful things in his life and I must allow him to begin this new season of life. But wow, I’m really going to miss him…

Since MBI is located in Chicago, we are having a Windy City themed party. Our menu includes Chicago style hotdogs, popcorn and Chicago style pizza. We are also serving healthy stuff because I just can’t feed my guests all junk no matter how tasty it is.

Ike helps put a few more finishing touches on the Sears Tower. Or do you call it Willis Tower?

A few months ago, my friend Mavis and I began work on a big project for the party. Our mission: to build the Sears Tower. How hard can that be? We spent a long morning painting, cutting and hot gluing and marveled at our handiwork even though we didn’t complete the project in one fell swoop. Now, construction of that impressive edifice is nearly finished. I only have to find two paper towel rods, paint them silver, stick them to the top of the building and voila! our indoor skyscraper will be done. The orange hair, freckle face OS dutifully assisted efforts yesterday in putting another few stores on the building. I should have been an architect, I mean check this out, very life-like, don’t you think? Actually it looks pretty cool but it is funny to have people stopping by our house for incidental things and suddenly seeing a giant cardboard skyscraper in the house. They’re not sure what to think.

But here’s what I know. My kid deserves a celebration. We are blessed to have a community of family and friends who love us. I’m not ready for this but he is and that’s more important. Let’s party!

Remember the cool give-away and to leave a comment on that post, I’ll announce the winner on Monday, August 6th (EST).

I’d love to hear about any of your fun party plans too! 

Dinner party fun and a cool give-away!

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There are two little secrets resting on these tables…

I warned my family before the company came over on Saturday night. Don’t.Mess.With.My.Plans. 

They knew that I had strategically placed two small mesh pouches on the dining room tables and they were not to remove them no matter what.

Furthermore, they received instruction not to smirk or roll their eyes when I revealed the little mystery bags to our dinner guests either.

In other words, there was some fear and trembling up in the W-H home before our company arrived.

Just before we prayed and served dinner, I announced to our guests that we were going to play a little game during dinner. The Hubs and my middle OS Aaron and the orange hair, freckle face OS nodded attentively according to orders. 😉

The people around this table shared something about themselves using Think-Ets

I told our guests we were going to go around the room and play Think-Ets. The guests weren’t sure what that meant and I continued. Each guest would remove an item from the small bag, show it to everyone else and share something about themselves as it pertained to the little trinket they held in their fingers.

All these trinkets. Can you think of a story about yourself as you look at them?

Our middle OS got things started as he pulled a tiny bell from the bag. He shared a story about his childhood and waking up early thanks to our dog Toughie. May he rest in peace. Then it was Pastor Jerry’s turn and he spoke about a recent time at the beach. Throughout the night 12 people in total gave us a glimpse into their lives with the help of these Think-Ets. Some of the stories were touching, like when one of our guests told us about his absolutely out of control curly hair he proudly wore as a teenager (the multi-colored bead) and when one of the women told about how she recounted her dreams as a single woman and gave them to her husband as a wedding gift (the book). Things got personal as the Hubs shared about growing up in Guam and shelling in the middle of the night (the shell) and one of the pastors spoke about moving as a little boy when his parents divorced from the west to the deep south (the pig). My favorite was learning about the grandparents who owned a rock shop in Florida and would drive all the way to Colorado to buy rocks for the store (the polished rock). How cool is that!

I’ve played this game many times and it’s never boring. I like hearing other people’s stories.

This loquacious group would have kept the conversation going, I am sure of that. But thanks to the Think-Ets, we went deeper, funnier and sweeter than we would have done left to our own resources. A closeness was shared not only because we had enjoyed a nice meal together but because we were real. In no small way those little mesh bags filled with tiny trinkets moved us from mundane to meaningful.

The kids’ table had a loud and crazy time with the Think-Ets!

A crazy rain storm had been brewing outside all night. Lightning flashed into the dining room and guess what? We couldn’t have cared less. We were listening to each other and making friends.

This was the little doo-dad I picked. I’ve got to tell you what I shared, it was quite a surprise!

We went to church the next day and all the folks commented on the great night we had shared! They especially mentioned “the game.” See I was right, it was a GOOD idea!

We had such a sweet time of fellowship, I want to extend the opportunity to you. Leave a comment on this blog post and on Monday August 6th, I’ll select a winner and that lucky person will receive the brand new Think-ets Party Games Edition for you to try yourself!

Think-Ets Party Games Edition – woot woot!

Here’s what the winner will get: 15 miniature trinkets from around the world, Instruction Booklet with 10 different games to play and the absolutely wonderful burgundy mesh carrying pouch.

Sample Trinkets include: “Wine” Bottle, Purple Person, Woven Rug, War & Peace Book, Meerkat, Apple, Gold Ring, Hammer, House, and more. (Items may vary due to supply changes.)

If you leave a message on my blog on this post in particular, I’ll count it as one entry but you can also enter on my personal facebook page and My Awesome Olive Shoots facebook page as well. Feel free to share with friends. Tell me how you think you could enjoy these and I’ll randomly pick a winner. So easy!

I’m just thrilled to give you the chance to enjoy a special time with friends and look forward to hearing from you!

Ambien, part three – ways that can help

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Lavender sleep mask = best friend

I told the Hubs last night that I just want to be over this whole not taking Ambien thing. I want to have this behind me.

I imagine this is a common feeling with a lot of people struggling with a dependency.

They just want to be on the other side of the problem, you know what I mean?

Thankfully, I married a sweet man. A good man. A loving and righteous man. And yes he snores and can leave his socks on the floor by the bed and yes, those things REALLY annoy me but I so appreciated his response.

He told me, “Mama, you’re doing it.”

And that blessed my tired soul.

Waking up in the morning with 6-7 hours of sleep free from Ambien is victorious. It’s like I battled some dark, evil dragon and won. But I don’t feel that I’ve got this all figured out yet.

Fan is a must for sleep

Of my own strength, I’m vulnerable and weak so when I told my oldest OS what I was doing, I appreciated Nate’s full attention. At 22 years old, he has a life of his own and doesn’t always hear me and can be easily distracted. But this time, Nate sincerely listened to me. And he said this.  “Mom, I’m really proud of you. That was nasty stuff.” Oh my, this matters to him. I want my family to be proud of me. (Lord, let my family be proud of me because I’m relying on you.)

So since I realize that I’m not the only one with sleep problems and I’m seeking to find natural, restful sleep, here are some things that might help. These are drug-free and healthy options. I’m dissecting the things I’m doing because I hope to encourage someone else. You can do it. Actually you can’t but God and you can. I’m an imperfect example of someone that’s moving forward, giving it all I got and letting Jesus fill in the rest.

I go to bed early, around 10:30. The later I go to sleep, the more I stress about how late it is and how I’ll never fall asleep. It becomes a vicious cycle of despair and fatigue. Hitting the sack earlier allows me some time to unwind.

This goober gave me good advice and I love him for it! Btw, he was holding this bag of beans because I asked him to and I thought it was funny!

I listen to my family’s advice. Wouldn’t you know that the Lord recently used a teenage kid to offer me sage counsel? It came from my middle OS Aaron who was positively insistent that I go to bed early. My ministry minded OS learned of my desire to rid myself of Ambien and he reasoned quite logically that if I went to bed early and it took me a while to go to sleep, at least I would probably sleep through the night and feel more rested. And you know what? That guy was right! If you are struggling in this area of life, what advice are those who love you most telling you? If it’s healthy advice, take it. If it’s stupid and will just lead you down another bad path, fuhgettaboutit.

I’m careful about what I put into my mind. Have you noticed (because I have) that there are some really terrible tv shows on late at night? One night while taking Ambien, I fell asleep on the floor with the tv on. When I awoke, I couldn’t believe what was on tv, it was something I never needed to know about or see. And btw, I wasn’t watching porn before I went to bed, thank you very much. But I am discerning about what goes into my system emotionally, physically, spiritually and nutritionally. I’m aiming to fall asleep PEACEFULLY and NATURALLY and this is an easy thing that makes a difference. I guard my mind and all of me, body and soul feel better.

This is the stupid box and I need to turn it off before I go to bed.

So if you are trying to learn how to sleep, what are you putting into yourself throughout the day and especially just before going to bed? I have a very sensitive constitution. Things bother me easily. I avoid loud music, alcohol, illegal drugs, crazy stuff on tv, sexual content, graphic violence, disturbing images, intense music, books and internet sites especially before bed. It might work for you. Seriously, what have you got to lose besides getting another monkey off your back?

Clock, you are not my friend. I shall not set my sight on you, mon ami, at least not late at night. Be gone! 😉

Don’t look at the clock. The Lord told me (and not like in a big, booming voice from heaven but actually deep within my spirit), He said, “Don’t look at the clock. It will thwart your progress. Trust me instead.” So when I have a late night trip to the restroom, I do not glance, not even for a second at the clock. Sure sometimes I’m tempted and I have  looked before and God was right (as usual) it didn’t help me. Jesus does though. Don’t look at the clock.

I’d love to hear about any of your suggestions too. Freeing myself from this drug is a big deal and while I’m don’t feel that I can claim total victory, I’m making progress. Thanks for your encouragement and support. You bless me. Sweet dreams and I really mean that.