Category Archives: memories

R-Day, 60 seconds

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“You have 60 seconds to say your farewells,” a member of the cadre announced as we all stood and prepared for our goodbyes.

A petite framed cadet whom I really wanted to hate was just doing her job. I don’t envy her of having the task of separating parent and family from child.

It was like every sentence she was saying felt like a Peanuts cartoon where Snoopy just hears, “blah, blah, blah, blah.”

Of course all of us knew it was coming, the mood was solemn as we all filed in and took our seats. I wasn’t the only weepy mom in the bunch so I felt a kindred spirit among us.

Oh I held him so tight. Be strong, be strong, I tried to remind myself.

Oh I held him so tight. Be strong, be strong, I tried to remind myself.

There was such a feeling of love and pride, but we all entered into some private, intimate place in our hearts and hugged our babies for the final time for a long while like we were the only ones in the place. Nate grabbed his meager belongings and confidently strode to the front of the auditorium and never looked back.

That was a good thing because if I had seen his face one more time, I would have taken it as a sign to rush forward to get him. I know he is divinely placed where the Lord wants him to be and this is perhaps the most unselfish thing I have ever done as a mother. We prayed and prayed for the Lord to put him where he was supposed to go. I cannot second guess my Heavenly Father. Saying goodbye and letting my beloved child set forth into a new life, I am filled with tears and pride, both never ending.

I remember child birth being very painful but this is really rough. I was in labor for four hours, and it hurt like crud and this process is much longer. West Point is such an austere and noble place, I am humbled to have a son who is in the class of 2012 and have the hat, t-shirt and matching handbag to prove it. I shall be wearing black, gold and gray for a really long time. There is a dignity and a respect I don’t recall seeing at other college campuses we visited. This is the right place for my son and I am thankful to have met a lot of nice guys Nathan will soon be calling friends. Take a look and click here at this link to see what his first day was like. OY!

We are all entering a new phase in our lives. After saying our farewells, there were two floors of vendors and organizations to greet us. Nearly ever booth had a box of Kleenex. It was reassuring to see that in the midst of all this decorum and granite, they had chiseled out a lot of compassion and concern.

We arrive home tomorrow and I do laundry which will include some of Nathan’s dirty clothes. It will be the saddest load of laundry I have ever done in my life thus far. I found the toe nail clippers he used before we dropped him off at West Point. They were in the hotel bathroom and yep, I cried.

The Hubs and I weren't the only ones struggling.

The Hubs and I weren’t the only ones struggling.

Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. I am the mama of a soldier. I am the PROUD mama of a soldier. Go Army, Beat Navy, Huah!

Psalm 63:7- 8

For you have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.
My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.

Little buddy Monday and Tuesday

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An absolutely adorable work in progress

An absolutely adorable work in progress

Well, two of my three children are in trouble.

I hate the term “grounded,” as it conjures up bad memories of my own rebellious adolescence so I will refrain from the terminology.

It could be a long and lonely summer at our house because unfortunately our guys are proving there is great truth in James 3:6

“The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.”

So instead of being able to use their tongue in conversation with their friends, their punishment is to spend time with me.

It’s funny to consider that I am a form of punishment but it’s true.

Aaron, my middle OS had his iPod, book and electric guitar removed from his possession and it has been replaced with laundry, a vacuum and his Bible.

Everything is fine right now, he has apologized and we’re moving forward, thank goodness but restrictions are a consequence of his actions!

We have work to do and I’m not backing down on raising three godly young men of honor.

That’s my job and I can’t give up, can’t back down, wimp out, no way, ain’t gonna happen, nuh-uh, no way Jose.

With one son preparing to leave our nest and go off to West Point, my prayer is to see the two remaining guys ready to do amazing things in their lives. They don’t have to be cookie cutter fellas but my heart’s cry is for them to glorify the Lord in all they do.

So yesterday Isaac was my companion and today, well, both Aaron and Isaac are by my side. We could be spending a lot of time together if they don’t watch out.

Ike and I did errands and such and despite it being a punishment, I think he had some fun. I called it Little Buddy Monday and it looks like it’s Middle Buddy Tuesday also.

Instead of strumming the guitar or hanging out with friends, the guys went with me to Nate’s final pediatrician visit.

Nate got three shots, a TB test and three vials of blood drawn.

And to his chagrin, I documented a vast majority of it because I knew you would want to see.

Yes, we all looked like goobers but times like this are ending as my oldest OS begins his journey at West Point in a matter of weeks.

I only get one more shot (pardon the pun). I took this picture of the door when the guys and I were politely asked to leave for the more “personal” parts of the exam.

I ended up feeling a little wistful as I realized that my 18-year-old son is grown. He can see the pediatrician up to 21 years of age but who does that? I can so easily remember the days when these doctors were measuring his head circumference, checking for ear infections, etc.

Today Nate didn’t need nor want my hand to hold although when he had a woozy moment, I was able to stroke his peaked head (I think I needed it more than he did).

Now he is venturing off to grown up places and I entered the pediatrician’s office feeling like we were turning another page. I think it was a blessing it was Little Buddy Tuesday after all.

So our summer begins and parts of our life kind of end. Will there be a Little Buddy Wednesday? Probably! Who knows! Stay tuned!

This was Nate enjoying a little Motts Totts juice box to help him not pass out.

Sigh…

Awkward carrot

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My dad amidst his bountiful tomatoes.

My dad amidst his bountiful tomatoes.

My dad was an avid gardener and I guess I thought it might be in the “genes” as they say.

But I do not have a green thumb.

The Hubs and I are not great landscapers and do not have an eye for flora and fauna.

A while back, we decided we would try a garden.

I love fresh veggies and would take a fresh, warm tomato over a piece of chocolate any day.

Over the weekend, Mark was weeding the “garden” when he traipsed on into the house with this…probably the funniest looking vegetable I’ve ever seen!

According to the seed packet, we should have enjoyed this carrot and all its orange friends a LONG time ago. Our carrot has taken a major time to grow, to say the least

There is a spiritual connection to all this. The Bible speaks about bearing fruit, fruit that will last (John 15:16).

So let me ask you a personal question, what kind of fruit are you growing?

According to the seed packet, we should have enjoyed this carrot and all its orange friends a LONG time ago.

Our carrot has taken a major time to grow, to say the least.

How are you maturing in the Lord?

Can you see growth or development or are you in a weird kind of place, stuck in a rut for years, much like our carrot?

Do you know how long it took for this beauty to grow?

Three years.

That’s right, for three years we have been waiting for something to sprout from our pitiful little garden.

Take a look at the picture, I think it must be a boy carrot. How perfect that a mom of three SONS would receive such a treasure! We have had a lot of laughs with its most awkward shape and at the risk of impropriety, I had to share it.

But I pray you find yourself bearing fruit of a most abundant variety from your verdant figurative garden of faith and if you’re so inclined, from the literal garden the one you might be growing this season.

These boots are made for walking

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One of my favorite songs growing up was the Barbara Sinatra’s (Frank’s daughter) song “These boots are made for walking.”

As a little girl, I would put on a pair of boots and strut all over the house singing this song – full of attitude and sass.

Now fast forward, nearly 40 years later, that song comes back into my head because over the weekend, we went to Fort Bragg and bought Nathan a pair of combat boots.

It’s been highly recommended that he break them in before reporting to West Point on June 30. Fort Bragg is quite a place.

p1010916If you’re looking for a tattoo, a nudie girl joint or a hot dog, then I’d highly recommend Fort Bragg.

I didn’t find the place especially sophisticated or refined!

For this suburban mama, I was missing some of my creature comforts but at least we were able to get Nate his boots and he’s definitely walking in them.

When in the military recommended going to the mini-mall on base, I thought I could get some cool things at a cheap price. That wasn’t really the case.

We had to get our car inspected, our IDs checked, driver registration confirmed just to get on the base. Pretty serious stuff. I didn’t get anything special at the mini-mall unless of course you count that I got hit on by a little Eastern Indian fella. He started talking to me while I was looking at work-out clothes. It was creepy and I certainly didn’t expect it. At first I couldn’t even believe it was happening. My mom heard me talking to someone and then saw me scooting over to her. Finding love at the commissary definitely wasn’t on my agenda! Just give me the stinkin’ boots!

p1010912Since I was absolutely forbidden to take random photos of Nathan trying on boots, (which I wanted to do for you, my blog friends), I had to be very conservative with my picture-taking.

Nathan took a few of the crew comprised of Isaac, Mom and me. I don’t think any of us are fit for duty. The military isn’t that desperate – YET! Thank goodness!

Now we need to order his dress shoes. The ones without polish because at West Point you polish your shoes to perfection.

My own feet ache thinking about all the walking and running my boy is going to do in just two months. My heart hurts too but that’s for another post…probably a lot more posts.

West Point Mom = me

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p1010889The wait is over. The package arrived.

Our son has been accepted to United States Military Academy – West Point!

We were told that if Nathan was rejected, we would receive a phone call; if he was accepted, he would receive a package.p1010896

Just as I was ready to go and speak in a middle school, my husband calls and says, “Nathan got a package from West Point.”

It must have nearly killed Mark to not open the contents but he resisted temptation. p1010891

p1010905Mark captured the moment on camera. This is a very big deal. Our son will report to West Point bright and early 6:30 AM on June 30!

He will attend six weeks of rigorous training (affectionately known as Beast) and after successful completion, begin his 47 month journey at West Point.

I did not grow up in a military family so this is all so new to me.

New terminology, new people, new experiences for all of us, especially our son.

Our family will take him there and say goodbye and not hear much from him most of the summer.

I am not crying as I type this which shocks me.

I am proud, scared, overjoyed, nervous, excited, thrilled, sad and every feeling in between.

I know the Lord is teaching all of us some lessons and has placed all these pieces together for His glory.

I am the mama of a soldier, whoa.

Goodbye and Hello

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We said goodbye to Aunt Helen this weekend. A feisty old gal who lived a colorful 84 years, went home to be with Jesus on March 11, 2008 and our family gathered in Front Royal, Virginia for her memorial service. Here is a picture of the person we lost. I wish you could have seen some of her very fancy photos from the past – wow! Let me tell ya, Aunt Helen could work it, honey!

Although our purpose was solemn, deep in the heart of Shenandoah Valley, God’s face shined upon our time. Our family met 20 new relatives, Mark saw cousins and second cousins he hasn’t seen since he was a little boy. I know Aunt Helen wo
uld have had a blast with all the fun we had.

I reflected on all the new people we had the pleasure of meeting. If it hadn’t have been for Aunt Helen’s passing, we might never have known each other. Never bothered to meet or hug or care about each other. Here is a picture of the people we now call kin.

  

We had seen Aunt Helen during Christmas time and thought it might be the last time we saw here this side of heaven. I will never forget the silver gravy dish Aunt Helen sent us for a wedding present. I believe the gift arrived about two years after our wedding and it was simply exquisite except for one big problem…the handle on the gravy dish wasn’t attached. Although it has never been a functional item because most people don’t like to have their fingers burned when getting their gravy, we have always hung onto it as a funny reminder of Aunt Helen’s quirkiness.  

Neat things about Aunt Helen:

She was an avid doll collector. During her memorial service, even the pastor commented on the lovely collection of dolls she had procured over the years. She even named them and had great affection for each one. 

She rode as a guest on Air Force One, the presidential airplane!

She had an office down the hall from the Vice President and worked in the White House for many years. She worked for the Nixon, Carter, Ford and Reagan administrations. Quite impressive!

One time while working at the White House, she even had Robert Redford (for you young-in’s, he’s like an old Brad Pitt) come into her office needing directions! Hallo!


She loved Scotland and Paris. 

The last time we saw her, although Alzheimer’s was robbing her memory and congestive heart failure was making her breathing quite labored, she repeatedly told us about the time she drank egg nog with her nieces in the White House. My boys fondly recall those moments we shared. 

My father-in-law, his niece and her husband have lovingly cared for Aunt Helen since she never had children of her own and hadn’t been married in ages. Without them, Aunt Helen would have been deprived of many blessings. In the 19 months that Aunt Helen was in a special care facility, she was able to renew relationships and find connection with family. God allowed us to say goodbye and also to say hello and I think that’s pretty special. Although that’s not especially profound or anything, it has given me reason to rejoice. 

My Prince Charming

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P1010543As Spirit Day drew to a close, it was Dress Up as Your Favorite Hero Day and Aaron decided he wanted to be someone extra special and quite appropriate – Prince Charming.

My 13-year-old OS has the pretty face and the affable personality but lacked the actual costume. We don’t do a lot of dress up in our family of boys but with a little ingenuity, we came up with a pretty cool outfit.

First we went to Staples and got some metallic posterboard.

P1010547I didn’t know they made metallic posterboard so that was quite convenient. We cut a crown design out of the posterboard and I glued a ton of little beads around it. It looked so shimmery and royal. Kind of like real jewels but not really. Check out the artistry…

P1010542I had some satin gold fabric and against all odds, I made my first pair of satin prince pants. My dumb sewing machine was acting the fool so my wonderful friend Michele let me borrow her top of the line machine.

It’s a $1500 sewing machine and man, that baby can purr. I’m not sure I’m giving it back to her, I seriously loved that machine. I have told my husband that if he really loved me, he would get me that machine. I’ll let you know how that’s going…I was definitely not worthy to even use the foot pedal of this fine piece of machinery, I savored every second and stitch.

P1010541After finishing the prince pants, I also made him a fancy slate grey vest complete with gold trim. It was so simple to make but I was really proud of myself! I am totally in the zone when I am doing things for my family. During a quick trip to the Goodwill, I found a nice man’s white collared shirt for Aaron – and then the biggest find of all, I bought a pair of women’s shoes. He wasn’t going to wear them, rather he took one shoe to school as he searched for his lovely Cinderella.

As luck would have it, I had a scrap of red satin fabric to make a little sash. When we put the costume together, he seriously looked like Prince Charming! Even when he was standing next to his best bud Zack aka Peter Pan.

This was a Spirit Day our family won’t forget!

Hide and seek

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I can let him stuff his face with cotton candy and then conveniently drop him off at his house with a sugar high that hits da roof- I like that!

With all this college stuff looming in the horizon (can stuff loom?), I need a diversion.

Two-year-old Jon serves that purpose. So does his baby brother Si but this post is about a delightful time I enjoyed with Mr. Walking Backwards Guy (aka Jon). He likes to walk backwards every time he sees me.

One day while visiting my sister and the babies, Jon and I played a game of Hide and Seek.

We would take turns hiding and it was so funny to see him looking hither and yon for me. He had a preferred spot for me to hide which made the game rather unchallenging but still immensely fun.

When it was my chance to find Jon, I would pretend to be completely baffled trying to locate him. I looked in the curtains. No Jon. In a pair of shoes. No Jon. In a drawer. Astonishingly, no Jon.

Every single time he hid in the exact same spot. When it was my turn, I’d tuck myself under the dining room table and wait for him to “find” me.  He must have thought, “Wow, Dees (that’s his name for me) is pretty dense,” since I usually hid in the exact same spot. But that’s one of the hidden rules of the game with Jon.

I’m so glad he put up with my antics.

We would still be playing hide and seek if it were up to him. How does he do it? He makes everything hilarious!

Doesn’t this look like fun?

I can’t wait to do it again and again and again! Bet you can’t find me – HA!

The next step onto West Point

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Today Nathan got a phone call from the local West Point recruiter.

He is a 1993 graduate and wants to meet my son.

The guy is coming by the school this Wednesday to answer Nathan’s questions and maybe meet with the principal.

One of the things I have appreciated through this whole process is how everyone seems to be very upfront and honest about what it takes to go to West Point Military Academy.

They aren’t sugar-coating this experience; I feel like we are getting an honest appraisal, perhaps more than at a traditional university. 

My son is Army strong but am I?

He can learn to run in the freezing cold and understand military strategy.

He will be able to scale walls and carry a rifle with ease.

But me, y’all, I am so terribly weak and vulnerable. I am such a wimp. Probably can’t even do a decent push up if my life depended on it.

I’m not talking about my physical strength.
I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, I have to tuck that truth deep into my heart.

I know that when I am weak, He is strong. What would I do without my Heavenly Father right beside me? As my friend Janice reminded me, the Lord knows what it’s like to give up your beloved son. While we were walking on the campus, I began to cry as I thought about my dad.

He never met any of my children having died when he was only 44 years old.

Warm tears streamed down my face as I thought about how proud he would have been of his grandson.

I thought my mother-in-law who is with the Lord now and wondered what she would had to say?

Thanks to some sage counsel from another friend, my husband reminded Nathan of this; he is going to a success wherever he goes. Mark is always a source of encouragement and perspective.

When Nathan was staying overnight in the barracks, he called to check in.

I asked my OS, “Well, what do you think? Do you want to go to West Point?”

He gave me the best answer I could have wanted, “I like it but I’m praying about it.”

Visiting West Point for the very first time

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We arrived at the Admissions Office at 8 am on Friday.

Since that time we have learned a lot of impressive things about West Point.

I am honored that my son is even considering this place.

West Point has a nobility about it that I haven’t felt at other universities.

Having not grown up in a military family, it’s strange walking around in a camouflage-colored campus where people all walk the same and salute each other.

General Patton with Quote

This beautiful print is available through a talented USNA and USMA mom. Check it out here!

I’m not saying I don’t like it, it’s just a whole new culture. You don’t see any dread locks in anyone’s hair or piercings or tattoos, no facial hair either. It’s a very clean-cut campus body.

West Point info we learned:

4,400 students attend

7 to 1 student/teacher ratio – This is less than in elementary school!

81% graduation in four years

Upon graduation cadets commit to five years of service in the Army – this is a very serious commitment

It’s estimated that a West Point education is worth $448,000.

Robert E. Lee, Ulysses S. Grant, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Omar Bradley, Norman Schwarzkopf are just some of the notable graduates

Wake up time: 5:00, not 5:01, not 5:15.

It’s not pretty if you don’t wake up on time.

If Nathan goes there, it should be a VERY interesting considering time to see how he does with that.

Considering how much prodding his brothers do to get him up at 7 am, I wonder how he will adjust.

Your room stays clean. Impeccably clean.

I mean so clean not even a hair should be on the ground.

You don’t want a hair on the ground or a dust bunny or anything out of place. It’s not pretty. You will walk the plain (a large flat field on campus) or worse.

When we were walking around the campus, Mark was impressed with how many cadets called him, “sir” as he passed them by.

I only heard some cuss word while on campus.

When we visited another university, the cuss words were flying all over the place. I’m not saying they don’t use them (wouldn’t that be nice, though), it was such a totally different atmosphere.

I’m praising the Lord that I brought my trusty long undies as I was able to handle the chilly temp thanks to the layers of clothing. I wasn’t exactly working it but sometimes you have to forgo high fashion, you know what I mean?

I have cried at least six times but not in an embarrassing way. One time, yesterday morning, the lieutenant mentioned something about saying good-bye to your family and I almost lost it.

I drew a deep breath, getting ready to let loose of a few years but immediately Nathan looked over at me (he knows me pretty well) and I knew I had to try and get myself together. I sucked the tears back in and waited until Mark and I were together to let a few fall from my eyes.

We are awaiting news on his eye exam and physical so he hasn’t been officially accepted yet.

Nothing is a done deal yet.

My sugar boy and me. I'm not a flyer btw.

My sugar boy and me. I’m not a flyer btw.

However, I have to accept is this – I have to accept and yield God’s will for my son’s life whether it’s at West Point or somewhere else.

The Lord and not me, determine my precious boy’s future. We are earnestly praying and if I get ahead of myself, I’m a wreck but if I stay in the moment, I can handle things. It is obvious the Lord is using this experience to make us lean into Him more and more.

We pick Nate up at 1 pm and we’ll learn more about his overnight time with a cadet. Check back for more details as we continue on this incredible journey.

If you like the picture posted in this blog, check out this talented artist’s prints. She’s a USNA and a future USMA mom!