Praying like Mary, thinking about Capri Sun

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I am proud of this Soldier. I must pray fervently for him.

I am proud of this Soldier. I must pray fervently for him.

After reading Monday’s daily Scripture several times, I drop to my knees to pray for my Soldier. So much is on my heart about this strong olive shoot. I notice a verse in my reading,

“Toi, Seigneur, tu connais le coeur de tous les hommes.” – Actes 1:25

Yes, Father, you know the heart of every man. I trust you listen to my heart’s cries. Incline your ear to me, your servant, My Holy One – this is what I implore.

Nate will soon be in Ranger School. I won’t be able to speak to him on the phone or receive his silly text messages for at least two months. Though I can write him letters, the frequent communication I cherish will be interrupted.

Ranger School is physically and emotionally grueling. There are aspects about the challenge that I can’t learn until he has graduated, is rested and has fattened up a little. Monday’s reading reminded me that I need to follow Mary’s example and pray with others, for our children individually and collectively, join together and seek God’s face.

I ponder what God is saying to me in this first chapter of Acts (Actes), I think about Mary and strangely enough, the new Capri Sun commercial. Admittedly, it’s a weird collage of thoughts.

Have you seen these commercials about a new vegetable-infused version of the juice drink called Super V? Here’s a link to see it yourself. .

“Paula Ebert” wants to buy a healthy juice for her son. She wants to help her son with all of his daily struggles. I chuckle to myself when I see the mom on the dodgeball court valiantly attempting to block all shots coming her boy’s way. “NO! NO! NO!” she yells to the kids trying to pellet her son. Hands flying in the air, frantically doing her best, Paula turns to her very embarrassed boy and reassures him, “Mommy’s here. It’s ok.” Bless her heart. I don’t like Capri Sun but I really like this mama. Part of every mother wishes God permitted only good things to happen to her babies. Since we live in a fallen, broken world that can’t happen but we can intercede on our children’s behalf.

21-Day-Challenge-Badge-300x300Mary prayed. 14 D’un commun accord, ils se retrouvaient souvent pour prier, avec quelques femmes, avec Marie la mère de Jésus, et avec les frères de Jésus. 

Acts (Actes) 1:14

How precious that the mom of the sinless Savior demonstrates the legacy of prayer! As I follow the 21-Day Challenge, I observe how Mary loved the Lord in this manner. In these verses, Mary didn’t pray alone but with others and in one accord for her son. To hear someone pray for my olive shoots grabs me at my very roots. Would you please pray for my son and all the men in Ranger School? If you have ever had someone pray for your child, you know what that means to a mother.

Wonder what God might say to you? Check out all of these Bible reading options, I bet there’s one that will speak to you! Give it a try and never be the same! This is the one I’m currently using, join me and many blessings!

Weird people

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This is cool, join me in this life-changing journey!

This is cool, join me in this life-changing journey!

As I begin the 21-Day Challenge on YouVersion and read the book of Mark (or Marc en francais) in the Bible, I want to occasionally articulate what God is saying to me. I will share bits of the process and encourage you to check out the different Bible reading plans. Maybe one will work for you!

Looking funny
Acting strange
Eating weird stuff

John was clothed in camel’s hair.
He ate wild honey and bugs.
He spent time in the wilderness.

I wonder if he smelled funky too. John led a supernatural, “crunchy” natural life and encountered Jesus personally. In modern days, he could have his own reality show. I would have watched it, that’s for sure.

God uses unusual people for His purposes. He also uses regular people. Sinners, tax collectors, adulterers, murderers became some of the Lord’s redeemed children.

I’m somewhere wedged between the weird and the wild. Former feminist/abortion rights activist, blasphemer, scoffer, mocker aptly describe who I was before Christ came into my heart.

Sitting on a table in France. Just one of the many dumb things I did.

Sitting on a table in France. Just one of the many dumb things I did.

Everything changed in December 1997 when I invited, pleaded with Jesus to enter my sorry soul.

Somedays I

Look funny
Act strange
Eat weird stuff

My cursing days are gone and I have told thousands my story of victory and redemption. Still a HUGE work in progress, I am a new creation because of Christ!

IMG_3493Each day we are to answer questions after reading the assigned Scripture. After reading Mark (Marc) 1:1-8, here’s are my thoughts.

God would have me start doing – Be more attentive to His opinion of me rather than others’ assessments of who I am.

God wants me to stop  – Squandering my time. I need to recognize how the Lord wants greater intimacy with me. He does not speak to me in a distant voice.

As I read the Bible in French (with my English Bible and my French dictionary close by), I notice how the Lord uses the familiar pronoun when speaking to his disciples. He “tutoies” his followers. It’s like when someone uses my favorite childhood nickname when speaking to me. I won’t tell you what this nickname is, you have to know me well enough and you probably don’t, no offense. Most people who use this nickname do not even know how much it blesses me.

Or like when my olive shoots though young men call me “Mommy” or “Mama” and not “Mom.” I feel that they REalLY like me, they know me. I let down my guard, my facade. It’s a sacred place even if we’re laughing and being silly. We have history and are connected. My heart is warm, I want to draw closer.

The Lord is tutoie-ing ME. I’m flattered, humbled, blessed.

What does God want me to continue doing? – Read the Bible in French and English. Note the subtle differences in words. Abide, rest, listen.

This is what I learned in just eight verses of God’s Word in one day. Merci bien Mon Seigneur! Je t’aime!

Five Minute Friday – Cherish

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You have five minutes to write, join us and feel the spirit move!

You have five minutes to write, join us and feel the spirit move! Check it out here!

About 10 years ago, the Lord placed a deep longing in my heart. My boys were entering stages in life where their voices were changing, pimples were rearing their nasty blackheads, muscles were growing, I could see girls were checking them out as if they were tasty bits of candy.

God has used my story to speak into my sons' lives. I never would have expected anything good to come out of my regretful decisions but thankfully I AM NOT GOD!

God has used my story to speak into my sons’ lives. I never would have expected anything good to come out of my regretful decisions but thankfully I AM NOT GOD!

I wanted to give them a vision about sex that I had never properly learned. As a result, I squandered that gift from God time and time again. When I looked at my guys, I saw their potential and power and the fact that I forsook this treasure during my formative years.

Was it possible to teach my olive shoots a better way? Could I even dare to suggest (along with the Hubs) that our boys, virile and mighty, wait to have sex until they were married? It’s in the Bible and all but could we have the audacity to encourage them that to realize that their bodies were to be cherished? I mean, they are guys after all!

I have often inquired of the Lord why did He only give my sons to raise? His replies are deep and personal but one of them that I wish to share with you is that Jesus gave me a responsibility. He has said, “Teach those guys about Me. Train them up with everything you’ve got! Teach your olive shoots that every single part of them is worthy. Instruct them in my ways even if they are counter-culture and difficult. ”

I really hope I don't get killed for posting this picture! They still have tender hearts and strong muscles.

I really hope I don’t get killed for posting this picture! They still have tender hearts and strong muscles.

Treasure God's Word, orange hair, freckle face olive shoot.

Treasure God’s Word, orange hair, freckle face olive shoot.

As I contemplate the word “cherish” as it applies to talking about this sensitive subject, I feel that the Lord is pleased with this aspect of my parenting. They are 22, 18 and 16, so far, so good.

We are not a perfect family. My olive shoots are now 22, 18 and 16 and their paths have a few crooked places but I am blessed to see that they value their purity. They are cherishing something I did not. Bless them, O Lord. Bless them. Amen.

One-word prayers

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Before having our first dinner of 2013 –

photo copy 4And after the Hubs had prayed,

I had an idea

(A truly beautiful idea if you ask me)

Initially it wasn’t warmly received

But I insisted

And so we went around the dining room table

Falafel, salad, mung bean sprouts and such, they paused

Cherishing these moments together

Cherishing these moments together

Three precious olive shoots

– A Soldier

– A ministry-minded middle

– An orange hair, freckle face sophomore

The Hubs and I

Offered a one-word prayer for the person to our left

Here are the brief utterances we spoke to each other

The one-word prayers we shared for each other. I am curious to see how these words are fulfilled.

The one-word prayers we shared for each other. I am curious to see how these words are fulfilled.

A simple, carefully selected word emerged from our lips individually

Handpicked from God, I’d like to think

A collective sigh of relief

And blessing manifested

As we feasted (finally) on all we had been given

photo copy 2

Watercolor works wonders this Christmas

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Did you give a loved one a very meaningful gift this Christmas? Isn’t it a satisfying feeling? Four of the presents I gave to loved ones fell into the category of little things that mean a lot.

This holiday season I discovered a talented watercolor artist and fellow West Point mom. I admired Janet’s beautiful work on facebook and contacted her. Upon sharing a bit, Janet agreed to the daunting task of painting (in miniature) a time this year when God literally and figuratively used the Hubs and my three olive shoots to save my life.

On Christmas day, after opening all the other presents, I stood in front of my family. With a silly clearing of my throat meant for dramatic effect and levity, I read the cards I had written. The atmosphere in the living room grew from festive to reflective as I became emotional. I’m blessed (and cursed) with very active Lacrimal glands; soon my pajamas became tear-stained.

Fog, rainbow, valley watercolor

Fog, rainbow, valley watercolor

After reading each card, I simultaneously handed the Hubs and my OS their gifts. (Nate received his gift after returning from El Salvador). There were no shrieks of delight, the kind that are often associated with Christmas; these presents summoned brief silence instead. Each painting was similar yet each had a unique touch.

I gave this watercolor to my Soldier.

I gave this watercolor to my Soldier.

Without getting too personal and making things awkward, I’ll share part of my literal journey.

Some of the dense fog I experienced.

Some of the dense fog I experienced.

In the fall, while traveling to Chicago to see my ministry-minded OS Aaron, I drove through miles and miles of hazardous fog. It was the second worst fog I’ve ever encountered. The most terrifying fog was to happen on the way HOME from this trip and it wasn’t the serene, mysterious kind either. There was nothing ethereal and lovely about it, this fog was treacherous and blindingly thick, a wrong tilt of the wheel would result in certain death. And I had precious cargo aboard in both directions – my orange hair, freckle face Ike.  There was no safe way off the highway, I just had to drive through the fog until things cleared. Anxiety still looms in me as I type these words. Had I veered off the highway, we would have plunged deep into the valley below.

Yet during this journey, Ike and I also encountered a rainbow. He saw it first and pointed it out to me. Both the fog and the rainbow are metaphors for other aspects of my life and we’ll just leave it there.

Ike became my living rainbow.

Ike became my living rainbow.

Janet was “commissioned” to combine elements of both the fog and the rainbow into a 2″ x 3″ watercolor (the Hubs’ painting is a bit larger and trust me, he deserved it!).

The Hubs promptly hung his watercolor painting in his office.

The Hubs promptly hung his watercolor painting in his office.

I love this.

I love this.

And this blessed woman unbeknownst to me at the time, not only created paintings for the Hubs and my three olive shoots; she made one for me. I now own an original watercolor which travels to different rooms in my house lest I am unable to see it.

These paintings are small but Janet rendered them magnificently. Though I fancy myself as a thoughtful gift giver, the Lord gets the credit. He provided the backdrop and graciously allowed the Hubs and my three olive shoots to bestow hope and support to me at a time when the valley was dangerously tempting. The Lord created the scenery and granted me insight. Then at just the right time, God carefully provided an artist, someone with whom I share a kindred spirit.

Psalm 31:8

and have not delivered me into the hand of the enemy;
you have set my feet in a broad place.

It was a privilege to give these gifts and I’d love to hear about a special gift you gave or received this Christmas. If you are interested in learning more about Janet, contact her at jacruick@yahoo.com.

Adventures with Flat Stanleyette, part two

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"I've never dehydrated anything before! This should be interesting!"

“I’ve never dehydrated anything before! This should be interesting!” Flat Stanleyette pictured with dehydrated cauliflower and an undehydrated butternut squash. Huh…

I certainly hope (and pray) that my niece, A., had a good day at school on Friday. Friday would have been a very important day to have a regular, wonderful time as an elementary school student.

These are soap nuts and this is the way Aunt Cindy and her family wash their clothes!

These are soap nuts and this is the way Aunt Cindy and her family wash their clothes!

My niece’s Flat Stanleyette hopefully arrived at school along with a box of surprises. Yesterday would have been a fitting day for happiness to fill a classroom…

Here are a few of the highlights –

1. Flat Stanleyette learned about soap nuts sold by Olive Shoot Institute. This is our family’s small business. This is the way we do laundry! At first FS thought we were crazy even though she appreciated the fact that soap nuts are 100% biodegradable, organic and natural. To think that there are trees in India that produce a berry which clean clothes blew her paper mind. However, when she noticed that our clothes smelled fresh and clean, our towels were fluffy and fresh, she became a true believer. Upon her insistence, I gave her some soap nuts to bring back home.

Flat Stanleyette noticed that sometimes Ike would like to eat a dorito.

Flat Stanleyette noticed that sometimes Ike would like to eat a dorito.

2. We kept her busy dehydrating and learning about preparing healthy food. She helped slice the fruit and vegetables, place it on our Excalibur dehydrator trays and spritz some lemon juice on things to keep it from turning gross colors. She helped make vegetable powders with our Vita-Mix and imagined all the ways they could be put into soups, etc.

3. Sometimes FS looked surprised when we told her we eat persimmons, kale, spinach and banana chips. We don’t always eat organic stuff or healthy things but we wanted her to try new things and expand her palate. When Flat Stanleyette returned home, she brought dehydrated banana chips, persimmons and apple slices. She was super excited to share them with the kids. Hope you guys liked them!

4. Our paper friend joined me in learning how to make fabric bowls. “Wow, this takes a lot of skill and patience!” she declared one afternoon. FS went to bed very tired that night with a slight headache.

A collage of fun!

A collage of fun!

5. It was her first time at a high school men’s basketball game and as expected, FS drew a lot of attention. Thankfully, her new best friend Erma helped her deal with all the looks and stares. Erma is a Guinea pig girl doll and proud of it! They both agreed everybody was probably jealous of their beauty. It was a fast-paced game and she is now the biggest fan of #21 whom she began calling “Lebron” even though he is an orange hair, freckle face teenager. The coach really wanted to get a picture with FS following their big win.

Flat Stanleyette and Erma became fast friends and cheered on the team!

Flat Stanleyette and Erma became fast friends and cheered on the team!

A Soldier ornament give away in honor of my Soldier

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"I enjoy jumping out of planes!"

“I enjoy jumping out of planes!”

Today my Soldier received a snazzy new pin for his uniform.

Nate got his jumper wings and has graduated from Airborne School!

When Nate was four, my oldest OS fell out of a second story window. His little body slammed to the concrete first hitting a clay pot. He suffered a fractured skull and I felt overwhelming guilt that I wasn’t watching him when he decided to play with the cat by our bedroom window. Praise Jesus he survived this random accident!

Now this same child intentionally jumped 1500 feet out of a perfectly good airplane. He didn’t suffer any broken bones during his five jumps though the same cannot be said for a few of his Airborne classmate. One has badly broken ankle and another a broken leg. Nate went from four foot practice jumps to the real deal.

This is my ornament positioned right by a picture of the Hubs and I on our honeymoon in Spain.

This is my ornament positioned right by a picture of the Hubs and I on our honeymoon in Spain.

So in honor of my son’s achievement and the fact that he’s my best Scrabble buddy, I’m offering a give-away. Thanks to a generous donation by Letters by Lilly, I have a super awesome Christmas ornament that’s perfect for a military family.

Nate often underestimates the courage it takes to do many things. As I listen in awe to his adventures, he speaks humbly about his achievements which far exceed the external and temporal. Each of my olive shoots inspires me in a different way, I honor my Soldier and all those serving in the military, thankful for their selfless service.

I placed my Soldier ornament on this tree. Nate will be with his bonita in El Salvador for Christmas, this will be another reminder of him!

I placed my Soldier ornament on this tree. Nate will be with his bonita in El Salvador for Christmas, this will be another reminder of him!

If you would like to win this ornament, leave a message on this post. I’m going to randomly select a name from the messages on Sunday, 6PM (EST). I will post the winner on my blog. Great thanks to Letters by Lilly! I love you, Nathan!

Fun with Flat Stanleyette

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"Hi, I'm Flat Stanleyette and I'm here for a good time!"

“Hi, I’m Flat Stanleyette and I’m here for a good time!”

For the second time this year, our family has hosted a Flat Stanley. I think the first Flat Stanley told the second one that our house was THE vacation destination. I can imagine more interesting places than our house but we swung wide the door of hospitality! Have you ever sent or received a Flat Stanley? I’ve never felt so much pressure to please a paper doll in my life!

My niece, A. sent me her adorably colored Flat Stanleyette. This FS is a super fancy girl with earrings, freckles, polished finger nails and some very interesting eye brows! Suddenly I was scrambling around making sure our life looked happy and interesting. FS had just missed participating in a craft fair and that was probably for the best. They are absolutely exhausting!

Taking a moment to pause, Flat Stanleyette enjoys being around this strapping young Soldier!

Taking a moment to pause, Flat Stanleyette enjoys being around this strapping young Soldier!

Thankfully she arrived on a weekend when my Soldier was in town. As soon as I tore open the envelope and saw her inside, I took her out to play basketball with the orange hair, freckle face OS and Nate.  FS admired Nate’s big muscles and Ike’s serious basketball skills. Based on all of their faces, I think they had fun together!

Even though you can't tell by her facial expression, Flat Stanleyette sat patiently at church and seemed interested in learning about God's Word.

Even though you can’t tell by her facial expression, Flat Stanleyette sat patiently at church and seemed interested in learning about God’s Word.

That evening, we took Ike out to the Melting Pot to celebrate his 16th birthday. Of course, we piled our new guest with us to the restaurant. She was polite and ate very little which was a good thing because the Melting Pot is $$$.

"You preached an excellent sermon!" "I know. Thanks for visiting." "You're welcome."

“You preached an excellent sermon!” “I know. Thanks for visiting.” “You’re welcome.”

FS went to church with us the following day. Pastor Rob wasn’t sure what to do when she insisted and I mean insisted on taking a picture with him. Sometimes it feels weird going to church if you haven’t been there for a while, I remember that feeling but we all made her feel welcome and at ease. She sat patiently next to me and looked on as I read the Bible. It was a new experience for FS and I think she got a lot out of it.

There was more fun and I can’t wait to share!

Flat Stanleyette and Erma became fast friends and BFFs!

Flat Stanleyette and Erma became fast friends and BFFs!

Going through the valley

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Sometimes there’s more going on in a picture then you might realize. These precious people have offered me support in ways I never could have imagined. I love them beyond words. The Hubs isn’t in the picture but I love that man with all my heart.

Sometimes when I look at other people’s facebooks and blogs, I think to myself, “those people sure are having a great time. They all look so happy. It doesn’t look like they have any problems.” Huh.

I can further surmise that those people always have a clean house, plenty of extra money, no significant struggles. Can you relate? Have you ever done the same thing?

Recently an acquaintance of mine posted a picture of her family. Had she not mentioned that her daughter had nearly barricaded herself in her bedroom just moments prior, I would have had no idea. Everyone had  fashioned lovely smiles, they looked perfect. Behind the scenes though, it had been a different story.

I was at another gathering and a godly woman I greatly admire shared how she had completely lost her temper with her children. She had become so frustrated, she shattered a plate on the ground. I would have never expected.

I don’t enjoy knowing people are struggling but sometimes it can help me feel better about my circumstances.

To say that I have been in great emotional struggle for the last several months would be a major understatement. If not for the LORD, the Hubs and my olive shoots, it might not be an exaggeration to say that my blog might not be the only thing that didn’t exist.

Foggy places

Foggy places

The only way I can write this is because God has been moving mountains. The dense patches of fog I experienced when going to and from Chicago in October were emblematic for what it’s been like for me personally. With great reluctance, I have been examining painful parts of my past I really wanted to ignore. It wasn’t like I just woke up one day and decided it was time to tackle this junk. Trust me. It’s been a messy process.

I have literally been clinging to Jesus uncertain of the path He was taking me on. Had I been given the option, I would have gladly retreated and not seen my way out of the mire. The valley has been deep and treacherous.

The LORD has been my strength and my shield. He is seeing me through the darkness. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be an archaeologist. It intrigued me to imagine unearthing hidden artifacts. In order to get to the treasure though, archeologists dig and sift. They bend over the dusty ground and tediously rummage through the worthless in the hopes of discovery. I never pursued that career option but I’ve been doing spiritual and emotional archeology. At times when I was unable to see what was before me and tremendous, horrible anxiety gripped every part of my being, the LORD granted me courage to move through it all. My husband and my olive shoots offered me unconditional love when it would have been easier to not walk alongside me. With the help of a Biblical counselor, my pastor and others, there has been restoration and promise.

Today at church during our prayer time, I publicly thanked the LORD for what My Holy One has been doing. We attend a very small church, we don’t handle snakes or do anything weird. It is a real and honest place full of sincere, imperfect people. I feel safe there in every way. I couldn’t stop the tears even though it was slightly embarrassing. Crying and praying out loud require concentration! I know personally what Psalm 31:8 means. The LORD did not give me into the hands of the enemy but set my feet in a spacious place.

I pray that this post encourages someone who might be going through the same thing. I send you my love and support.

Aaron’s aggravated appendix

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Awkward fun at the hospital

Awkward fun at the hospital

The appendix is a fairly useless organ but it sure can wreak havoc. If you are planning appendicitis during your college career, remain well hydrated and carry an extra dose of humor for the journey. You also might want to finish all your important papers too. Just sayin.

My ministry-minded olive shoot is at a hospital in Chicago. Yesterday in the late afternoon, Aaron began to experience severe abdominal pain. His buddies took him to the Emergency Room and following a CT scan, Aaron learned his appendix is unhappy. Soon it will vacate its home.

Let the fun begin?!

Let the fun begin?!

It stinks being so far away from my OS right now but thanks to social media, I can see Aaron and his crew made the most of a stinky situation. His friends brought him to the hospital and had already purchased him a Get Well Soon balloon. The balloon and Aaron’s buddy, Ethan have been his constant companions.

Aaron’s appendix is/was kinda dumb – can’t even spell himself! #gottago @RIPuvileveriform

Aaron will have surgery in the next few hours and probably be discharged tomorrow. I praise the Lord for his goodness and how He has worked out all of the details in advance. He has surrounded my olive shoot with a caring community and a wacky bunch of friends which is exactly what Aaron needs and what the Great Physician ordered.

I learned that sometime in the middle of the night, one of Aaron’s friends even created a Twitter account on behalf of Aaron’s failing vermiform.

A few moments ago, Moody Bible called to check in on Aaron and to make sure I knew of his condition. Since I’ve had a son at a military academy who had ACL surgery at West Point last year and now an olive shoot at a Bible university, I have no idea if this is how the rest of the colleges handle medical matters. 100% of my over 18-year-old OS have had surgery during college. Ike, if you’re reading this blog post, Mama would  really appreciate it if you changed the stats when it’s your time to get your degree.

It has done this mama much good to trust in the Lord and rely on the mighty ways He can transcend the miles and distance.