Five minute Friday – view

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Straight hair, glasses, this was the re-take picture sophomore year!

Straight hair, glasses, this was the re-take picture sophomore year!

Gulp.

Etched into my memory is the stunningly gorgeous popular girl who looked into the mirror in the high school bathroom and let out a disgusted, “UGH! as she peered into the glass.

I was standing beside her.

Contact lenses, perm, junior year and still on that struggle bus!

Contact lenses, perm, junior year and still on that struggle bus!

If that girl was ugly, what did that mean about me? If she let out a mighty gulp, what should my response be for the creature that was looking back at me?

Pimples, fake perm, flat-chested, family problems, low on the social scale, I didn’t have a chance.

My view of myself is very negative though many people might find that hard to believe. They think that a sassy, pink-haired women would like what she sees but they are wrong.

I’m still the woman who looks in the mirror with disgust

Sometimes horror

I get in trouble with the men in my family when I inform them about my level of hideousness. They yell at me when I try to convince them that I am especially yucky. Somehow they do not see all the imperfections that make me at times even feel like I need to apologize for being out in public.

Reconciling God’s view of me with what I see, how I feel, making sense of life’s ugliness appears to be a painful, lifelong process. Ugh.IMG_9328

I’m not expecting you to try to convince me of my inner beauty, my physical at- tractiveness, that’s not the purpose of this post.

I wouldn’t believe you anyway.

I’m just being honest and I suspect I’m not alone. God has a lot of work to do and his view of me is what should really matter.

5minutefridayOk, so that was immensely painful. “Thank you Five minute Friday“?