Waiting for Nate…

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Posted on July 12, 2008

Thank goodness I’m not a smoker because if I were, I’d have blazed through a carton of cigarettes by now waiting for our son’s 10 minute call from West Point. I know my son is going through Cadet Basic Training aka Beast but my mom had a very astute observation recently. She told me, “You’re going through your own Beast.” Sure, I’m not getting screamed at, I get to chew food in unlimited bites, I’m not up at 5:30am but she was right. Parents of New Cadets go through their own Beast. Moms are so wise.

I have hesitated even to go out to the garage to grab some meat from the freezer for fear I might miss his call. We don’t live in a sprawling mansion so I have no idea how I could miss his call but I grabbed the ground pork and bolted back inside.

I’ve cried because I haven’t heard from him. I’ve cried because I’m going to. I’ve cried because it’s going to be too short. I’ve cried for the parents whose new cadets have talked longer to their girlfriend or boyfriends than their moms and dads. Waa waa waa, ok, I’ll say it, I’m a cry baby.

I haven’t hit the gym in two days because I can’t handle the notion of not hearing his voice. So many questions, so many stories, so little time. My husband had to pick Aaron up after mowing some lawns this afternoon. He returned, eyes wide open and stepped into the house, “no call,” was my reply. His heart was both deflated that there was still no word but relieved that he hadn’t missed hearing from his boy.

It’s nearing dinner time and still no word. We had friends over for dinner and a played few games of Wii last night which provided a nice diversion. Tonight I’m just sewing and waiting. I’m waiting on the Lord’s timing which is always perfect and I’ll be sure to post afterward…stay tuned.

Five Piece Puzzle, Sort Of

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Posted on July 12, 2008

For years now we have called ourselves the “five piece puzzle.” We have said that there are only five people in the entire world with our last name (which for confidentiality reasons, I’m not using here). We are surely not saying we are better than any other person in the world, but we’ve always wanted our OSs (olive shoots) to feel special, that being a member of this family is a blessing.

Now that our oldest OS is off at West Point, doing West Point-y kind of things, we are establishing new patterns. On Thursday we went to a local soccer game. It was sad getting only four tickets for the game but nice to do something fun. We scrambled out the door, I grabbed the camera and then I

picked up one more thing. I got a picture of Nate and brought him along to the game, sort of. I placed the small picture frame into my United States Military Academy Bag (of course.)

We arrived at the soccer center and took Nate out of the bag. As usual Nathan was fun to have around. I mean we seriously had a great time with him. The people around us probably thought we were a bunch of goofballs and I secretly wanted someone to ask me what we were doing, but alas, no one did. Shucks. But we had a blast. Correction, Mark and I had a blast pretending Nate was by our side.

I took pictures of Aaron and Nate in random poses…the contemplative, model-like shots were among my faves.

Sometimes our oldest OS can be a little fussy so boy oh boy, were we surprised when Nathan actually wanted to get a picture with the team mascot Soar. Soar was pretty excited about it too. I think they might be BFF!

Nate even sat on his dad’s lap which is something he hasn’t wanted to do for ages! As you will see, we all had a five piece puzzle type of night.

There is a movie, Lars and the Real Girl, I want to recommend which my husband and I loved. It’s a little strange but very endearing. It is not inappropriate, I don’t think there were any swear words or nasty stuff although the original premise might sound suspicious, check it out!

Don’t worry about me, I am not delusional, I am in touch with reality, aware of my surroundings and such. I’m just a mom who misses her boy and thinks sometimes laughter is easier than tears.

Oh happy day – letters after R-Day

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Posted on July 9, 2008

On July 9, 2007 while just exiting a restroom in Lima, Peru, I got mugged. My pricey camera was pulled off my shoulders and back and that was probably one of the most startling events of my life.

Fast forward a year, I’m back home and this July 9 is joyous. Yeah, we have a stomach virus wreaking havoc on our family but it’s all good.

Our son wrote us!

In our mailbox, I discovered not one, not two, not three but FOUR letters from our boy!

There are not enough exclamation points to describe how I feel to read his words and glean his personality. Here are just a few and I’ll try not to be obnoxious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I count it a privilege that our NC (military word for New Cadet) took the precious time to write.

Some parents have yet to hear from their child and I feel for them deeply. I do not take it for granted we have these paper treasures from our soldier and will guard them close to my heart forever.

As we gathered around the family room to read his letters, I thought to myself that this is what it used to be like before email, AIM and facebook.

Writing letters is a forgotten art and in some way, I have enjoyed putting pen to paper. I’m a writer so it comes fairly naturally but my two remaining OS certainly aren’t but what sweet messages have poured from their fingers. Aaron sends funny drawings, Ike sends Scripture.

Aaron writes about the day’s happenings.

Ike shares that he has thrown up.

My DH dashed another letter out to Nathan as soon as he read Nate’s messages. They are so beautiful, I have no choice but to weep.

Without violating his privacy, I think some of you would enjoy knowing a few details but let me tell you the latest on the toe.

Although still purple, his big toe feels much better since he got it drained. Getting a toe drained doesn’t sound like fun but I’m relieved to know he’s ok. I wrote him that he had so many prayers that not only should that toe be healed in Jesus’ name but quite possibly he might have grown a third big toe as a spare!

Please keep praying not only for our family but for the other cadet families out there eagerly awaiting news from their NC.

It’s tough when no news comes your way.

In a few days, we anticipate phone calls and I can’t wait to hear his voice. Major props to my homeslice Beth Anne who documented the first few moments when the letters arrived, love you, BA!

Getting letters from your son is better than getting mugged in South America, that’s a fact, Jack! HUAH big time!

Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn.”

I collect typos

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Posted on July 8, 2008

To the pooper who wrote a really dumb message on my blog- shame on you! So much for that whole honor thing, huh? I thought West Point raised people of integrity, if you are reading my blog again, Mr. Nasty Bitter Guy who claims to have gone to USMA, go call your mom. You mentioned that you don’t even speak to her anymore…you don’t need to write on my blog, just go and fix things with the woman who grunted you out of her body. I can’t imagine her deserving such mistreatment and one day you will regret your actions. Been there, done that, my friend…sounds like an apology from YOU is in order…

and while I’m at it, welcome to the gun show! HA!

Now back to regularly scheduled blog posts…I collect typos. Here is one I found at a deli in Fishkill while we were dropping our son off at West Point. It made me laugh which is more than I can say I did about the stinker who left the blog comment which I have since deleted. I ate a really good portabella mushroom sandwich. They make good typos and sandwiches!

Hope it makes you smile, I thought it was pretty funny!

MOMents of time

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Posted on July 7, 2008

Friday morning the phone rings. When I inquire who is calling, the official sounding man gives his name and then says he’s calling from Washington, DC. My heart drops as I hand the phone to my husband…

Even though my son is in New York, a sick feeling blackened my heart. The phone call was just a guy doing a survey and so my stomach returned to its original location and I started breathing again. This is not a fun feeling.

Today I’m checking my facebook. I check my facebook ALL the time and I check everybody’s status ALL the time. Do you have a facebook? How many friends do you have? Do you like pieces of flair? I LOVE pieces of flair! Sorry, I digress, well I’m checking everybody’s status and I notice that something is different on my son’s facebook. His status has changed since last night. I have no idea how or why or even who did it. To my knowledge he doesn’t have computer access. I have his password and I know I haven’t touched his facebook. I was instructed not to do a thing unless absolutely necessary. So who did? A million questions are buzzing through my head. (Note: as of 9:45 this evening, I have learned that if a facebook status is inactive, it automatically expires. This means Nate is probably just fine – glory!)

When I got his letter over the weekend, I peered at each word he wrote trying to detect even the slightest hidden message. I read the words he put on paper but were there things he wasn’t able to say. You know those things that only a mother can notice. Is he ok? Is he stressed? Is he rushed? Lonely? Sad? Happy? OY!!!

These are the moments, the MOMents when my faith is stretched. I call on my Savior to remind me that our All-Knowing, Omnipresent God is there for my son even when I am not. I have a friend whose husband graduated from USMA and was stationed in Saudi Arabia. I remember her telling me of being fearful of “the call” or “the visit.” Praise the Lord she never experienced these things but now I get it. Even a week into our 47 month experience at West Point, I can better empathize with many military things.

My DH and I have raised a strong and resilient young man and we serve a mighty God.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6

This is a special bag I bought at West Point. I love how this bag has all the names of new cadets printed on it, including my son!

Head to toe prayers

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Posted on July 5, 2008

The United States Military Academy requires its cadets to send a letter out to parents within the first few days of Beast (Cadet Basic Training).

Today we were overjoyed to get a coveted letter from our son.

We haven’t been able to talk to Nate since our farewells. Apparently next week we will get a 10 minute call from him. I will be sitting by the phone on the specified days and potential times until I get to hear his voice.

In the meantime, a one-page handwritten letter will suffice. In the letter, Nate indicated he had a tough day and received a lot of “personal attention.” One thing you don’t want at West Point is “personal attention.” The mom in me wants to make the 12 hour trek in my mini-van and just pick up my boy but that’s not what he wants or needs. He will prove it to himself that he can do all things through Christ who strengthens him.

What Nathan needs is prayer.

Specifically for his big toe.

He smashed it a few days ago and it has turned purple. This might seem like a strange prayer request but for a new cadet going through Beast (Basic Cadet Training), it’s a huge deal.

I cut my big toe on my honeymoon in Portugal, and trust me, big toes are very useful.

For the remainder of my honeymoon in Portugal and Spain, I walked around with stitches on the bottom of my big toe. That’s when I learned the value of phalanges.

My son is learning the truth behind God’s Word found in Psalm 139:14 “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” He needs his big toes and probably will never take them for granted again.

If you read this post, please lift my boy, head to toe, inside and out, body and spirit up to the Lord along with all the other cadets.

Feeling better – mama of a soldier presses on…

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Posted on July 2, 2008

We are currently experiencing a drought in our part of the country and if I had collected my tears in some type of container, (an incredibly large container), I think I personally could have solved the problem two days ago.

Today is a better day although it was quite painful walking into the house and past my son’s room.

This picture is of the two OS and me while still at West Point featuring four items of USMA gear along with the jade necklace my friend whose husband is serving in Korea.

The last thing I want to be is maudlin so I’m concentrating on good things.

I don’t even like the the word maudlin, therefore I’m trying my best to not be characterized as such.

Instead, I’m going the other extreme by wearing

– my West Point Mom Class of 2012 t-shirt with
– my West Point Class of 2012 matching canvas bag
– while driving my mini-van with the Proud Parent of West Point Class of 2012 bumper sticker
and reading Absolutely American (an amazing West Point book, highly recommend) and sporting my West Point Class of 2012 baseball cap.

My husband has –

– a West Point Parent license plate holder

– a West Point Dad Class of 2012 t-shirt

– a West Point golf shirt

– an Army baseball cap and

– a Proud Parent to be a West Point Cadet’s Parent bumper sticker
along with an Army lapel pin.

Can you notice a theme here? Does it seem just a little over the top? Who cares!

In some way, it connects us. I might wash my West Point Mom shirt in a couple of days if it starts to stink but I will stay in the laundry room and put it on as soon as it comes out of the dryer. Do you think I’m kidding!? I’m not!

Despite hundreds of miles that separate us, I am tethered to my child by these small efforts.

Since I like to sew, earlier this spring, I made Isaac a pair of camo-boxer shorts and a camo-pillow case.

My nephew Josiah now has a camo-bib. I also sewed a camo-apron.

Suddenly my favorite colors are either red, white and blue or black, grey and gold. I can’t be there with him while he is learning “knowledge” or doing push-ups or making his bed with incredible speed and execution so in spirit, this is my mama’s way of showing support.

He doesn’t know it but I do and it makes me feel better = less tears.

I cried so much on Monday that I had salt deposits under my eyes.

My two OS said, “Mom you have this white stuff under your eyes.” I went to the restroom at West Point and it wasn’t Kleenex, it wasn’t makeup, it was dried up tears. Yeah, it was that bad.

While at the Panera Bread line today, wearing my West Point Mom Class of 2012 t-shirt, a man approached me and said that he used to attend the Sunday night concerts up there by the tip of the Hudson River. I saw that place just a few days ago and it brought me a measure of joy. I felt connected and held back the floodgates.

During this time of transition though I have to share this with you.

I haven’t been able to collect my tears and find a useful purpose for them but someone has.

It is God.

Scripture says in Psalm 56:8 “You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle–are they not in Your book?”

I can’t tell you how many times I have clung to that truth. If you know people who are hurting, sad or lonely, share that timeless message with them. God is recording their tears in His bottle, on His scroll.

They matter to Him. And if you see me, for goodness sake, please compliment me on my new USMA fashions, it will help this mama of a soldier!

Go Army, Beat Navy!

Check out how things are going as we now await “the phone call” and a silly way we included our NC into a little family fun!

Link to a newscast about R-Day at West Point, I wouldn’t have lasted 10 minutes!

Btw, I love all your comments and stories and want to put them in a future post. They are inspiring even to non-military folks! Keep ’em coming!

Soldier Boy

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Posted on July 1, 2008

When Nathan turned the corner in the Oath Ceremony, I think I saw a little glimmer of a smile. I think he saw us running after him trying to get a few more pictures. This is a picture of Nate marching with his Company. Doesn’t he look so handsome? It was God’s favor that we were able to see our son fairly easily.This was like the most important parade I’ve ever seen in my whole entire life and trust me, I was desperate to see my child! We were already warned we might not be able to spot him and it was recommended to just simply “adopt” a cadet and start taking pictures. New cadet parents then post them on a website and you might just get a picture of your son/daughter. But oh, what joy it brought to my soul when I saw New Cadet Nathan! He was still hanging in there, praise the Lord! His newly shaved head and BCG’s (otherwise known as glasses), his crisp uniform, my son saluted and seemed to be following orders after a blurry day of instruction. No wavering or hesitation, just a steely eyed forward gaze. There were other people shouting things to their cadets, in particular friends and siblings, as for me, I was simply speechless as the tears poured down my face. Mark yelled something like, “Go, Baby!” but I knew Nathan wouldn’t like it if his mom said something cutesy or strange. I have gotten in trouble numerous times for spontaneous outbursts and I don’t think I want to mess around with a soldier! HA! We were absolutely exhausted so I can only imagine how he felt. While waiting for the ceremony, I finished my letter to him and got it in the mail. I have to write him everyday, that is my promise to myself.

The ride back on our nearly final leg of the journey was quiet. Sniffles could be heard from the back and I had to comfort my two remaining olive shoots who were missing their big brother. We all just want to get back home and resume a new level of normalcy and wear all our newly acquired West Point clothes. I will be wearing something West Point every time I go to the grocery store, Target, anywhere there is a chance someone will see me and realize, “Hey, wait a second, that’s not just an ordinary woman, that’s a mama of a soldier in the aisle, wow she’s a West Point mom!” HA! One door is shut, another one is opening, we’re all adjusting to this new season of life…if you want to read more about this, click here. Jon Scott, anchor on FOX “News Live” shares his experiences when he dropped his own son off at West Point last year. It is really interesting.

R-Day, 60 seconds

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Posted on June 30, 2008

“You have 60 seconds to say your farewells,” a member of the cadre announced as we all stood and prepared for our goodbyes.

A petite framed cadet whom I really wanted to hate was just doing her job. I don’t envy her of having the task of separating parent and family from child.

It was like every sentence she was saying felt like a Peanuts cartoon where Snoopy just hears, “blah, blah, blah, blah.”

Of course all of us knew it was coming, the mood was solemn as we all filed in and took our seats. I wasn’t the only weepy mom in the bunch so I felt a kindred spirit among us.

Oh I held him so tight. Be strong, be strong, I tried to remind myself.

There was such a feeling of love and pride, but we all entered into some private, intimate place in our hearts and hugged our babies for the final time for a long while like we were the only ones in the place. Nate grabbed his meager belongings and confidently strode to the front of the auditorium and never looked back.

That was a good thing because if I had seen his face one more time, I would have taken it as a sign to rush forward to get him. I know he is divinely placed where the Lord wants him to be and this is perhaps the most unselfish thing I have ever done as a mother. We prayed and prayed for the Lord to put him where he was supposed to go. I cannot second guess my Heavenly Father. Saying goodbye and letting my beloved child set forth into a new life, I am filled with tears and pride, both never ending.

I remember child birth being very painful but this is really rough. I was in labor for four hours, and it hurt like crud and this process is much longer. West Point is such an austere and noble place, I am humbled to have a son who is in the class of 2012 and have the hat, t-shirt and matching handbag to prove it. I shall be wearing black, gold and gray for a really long time. There is a dignity and a respect I don’t recall seeing at other college campuses we visited. This is the right place for my son and I am thankful to have met a lot of nice guys Nathan will soon be calling friends. Take a look and click here at this link to see what his first day was like. OY!

We are all entering a new phase in our lives. After saying our farewells, there were two floors of vendors and organizations to greet us. Nearly ever booth had a box of Kleenex. It was reassuring to see that in the midst of all this decorum and granite, they had chiseled out a lot of compassion and concern.

We arrive home tomorrow and I do laundry which will include some of Nathan’s dirty clothes. It will be the saddest load of laundry I have ever done in my life thus far. I found the toe nail clippers he used before we dropped him off at West Point. They were in the hotel bathroom and yep, I cried.

The Hubs and I weren’t the only ones struggling.

Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. I am the mama of a soldier. I am the PROUD mama of a soldier. Go Army, Beat Navy, Huah!

Psalm 63:7- 8

For you have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.
My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.

Leaving civilian life behind, becoming military parents

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Posted on June 26, 2008

We just ate our last lunch as a civilian family in our home. In about an hour, we will head out for West Point, first stopping at a special family’s house along the way which is sure to be a bloggable event.

We are becoming a military family, I guess. In true W-H fashion, we did not have a Norman Rockwell dinner or lunch where we were all sitting around the table, laughing and smiling with every bite, singing Kum-Bi-Yah.

I guess we are a really human family and my expectations might have been too high. I am disappointed but trying to not dwell on things not ending perfectly like I wanted.