It is heartbreaking to find old pictures destroyed in the trash.
As this ignoble journey through Alzheimer’s plods on,
I look up at the photo bulletin board in his kitchen
And in the last few days,
The picture of the Hubs and me
Has been torn up
And in our place
Stands the business card of the exterminator!
Ouch
At first I laughed…
But then it felt like a wasp sting in my heart
Pictures of the Hubs and his dad have been ripped up recently
Thrown in the trash
And I told the Hubs, “It’s ok. He doesn’t mean it. He loves you.”
But then it happened to me and instead I sadly said,
“I’m going to need to work through this.”
I can handle cleaning poo off the toilet seat rims,
Cindy versus poo,
I always win
The miserable evolution and emotion of the bulletin board. I thought it would be something that brought him joy. I put it up for remembrances. Now I just want to forget I even bothered.
But crud muffins, being downgraded from the exterminator
Come on
Really?
Whoa
Oh, Brain Disease, if a picture of YOU were on my bulletin board
I’d replace you with a 8×10 PICTURE of MY exterminator
Now, Brain Disease, you know how we feel…
My Awesome Olive Shoots 
Oh, Cindy. We lost my Dad to dementia. ? 3 years ago? Has it really been 3 years? It is not a pretty journey. It’s cruel. Heartless. Hurtful. Painful. And I wondered daily what went on in Dad’s mind. Did he know things weren’t processing right? Your expressions of frustration, and hurt, and overwhelming loss of what was….too familiar. Do what you can to make each day bearable for you, for him and the rest of the family. Let go of expectations. And eat the elephant one bite at a time. Any more than that will choke the life out of you. Will be praying for this journey you are on. It’s hard.
Thank you Diane. I don’t like eating elephant, I want to barf! I hate hearing that others can empathize because it means others are or have suffered. We have some very tense times coming up and your compassion is very much appreciated. So sorry for your own loss, it is a ridiculously cruel disease. Bless you.
😦
I hope you are able to take a break sometimes – and I hope you are getting support from your church family. It is so sad watching someone you care for as they change and become sad, angry, confused, etc., etc. Of course it feels personal. I will pray for grace and that you know God walking beside you at each moment. I do admire you and have so loved reading your blog. Lots of love x
Thank you Sandy! I say the same thing to you and your own need for a break! I’ll bring you over a dinner, how’s that? If I could, I would! We are having a momentary break but it will be short-lived and I don’t think anyone should do this life without the Lord! I find writing to be a good release and knowing others care also means a lot! Bless you and love right back to you!