Rhymes with “witch” – a daughter-in-law’s journey

A tender-hearted olive shoot and grandson

A tender-hearted olive shoot and grandson

Under his breath, he muttered the word that rhymes with witch but starts with a “B.”

Only one person heard it

My youngest son

We were going to a wedding in Indiana

I was in the passenger seat, clueless, in a celebration dress

Quite honestly, I was being silly

It had been a stressful day.

But after the nuptials, on the way back to the hotel,

My youngest olive shoot says he’s in massive pain

Really sick, violently ill

We go to urgent care because Ike’s abdomen is cramping

And that’s when I learn the burden he had been carrying

Of course he felt sick to his stomach!

I mean what do you say or do when your grandpa calls your mom a cuss word and you’re the only one who hears it???

That incident happened three years ago and I’d be lying if I told you this didn’t create a rift between him (not my son, of course!) and me. I knew we couldn’t confront him about disrespecting me and putting our teenage son in a very awkward position. So we have sucked it up.

But I have kept my distance not to be hurt again. Plus I haven’t wanted my sons to feel that kind of slicing pain.

"Heavenly Father, sustain us all during this time of great suffering."

“Heavenly Father, sustain us all during this time of great suffering.”

But now here we are

The man has a brain disease

And he needs me.

So does my husband.

I can only do this because of Jesus.

Left to my own selfish abilities, I would have given up. I bruise easily.

But through Christ and with some distance and education behind me, I think that moment was just another sign that there has been a growing problem.

And that man who called me the word that rhymes with witch but starts with the letter “B.”

Guess what I’m calling him now more than I ever have done in my over 25 years of marriage?

I’m calling him

Dad ❤

13 thoughts on “Rhymes with “witch” – a daughter-in-law’s journey

  1. Hey my beautiful friend! I’m praying for you all. We’ve walked a similar road with my grandmother’s dementia. So thankful for mercies that are new each morning and that He is our portion forever! I love you!

  2. This is a test. It is only a test. If the truth were being promoted that would be a different story. You are being called to live by the truth of God’s Word, that is in direct opposition to the verbalizations of a mind riddled with disease and untruth. Arm yourself more than usual with Truth. Deny the devil his desired outcome, that of discouraging, disabling and disarming you, the Believer. (easy for me to say, not being in the thick of it! But, I have BEEN there. I know it isn’t easy.) In one very dark time of life I learned the value of praise. And it has been a valuable lesson indeed. Heb 13:15 says to make a “sacrifice” of praise. Sacrifice…it costs something. And you are already on the right path. You call him “Dad”. Defeat the devil, Praise God for every situation, circumstance and trial. And…if you can manage it, look for humor in the situation every day. I’ve come to love you through your FB comments to Jen / Dereck/ the girls. And your wonderful words of encouragement artistically conveyed in your sweet cards to Jess. It warms this mom’s heart. Praying for your days and nights. Each has it’s own boogeyman if you don’t have a good firm grip on the Lord’s provision for you in that time!

    • Oh your words are a soothing balm to my soul! I so appreciate your kindness and the small efforts I have done to encourage your precious family have been my honor to do. Oh yes, there are funny moments, some are even nearly delightful at times. There are moments when it feels like the devil is destroying everything and we feel robbed and there are glimpses of joy too. Thank you for your comments and for your family!

  3. I remember when my great aunt had alzheimers. She was a super smart, kind, Godly woman. But when the disease got her she forgot who we were and could rival a sailor with her cussing. She became an escape artist and even made the news one time when the police were called to help find her. But chocolate always made her happy. Always. Sometimes she’d even save it to share with the other children on the school bus …
    My aunt took care of her as long as she safely could. It was so hard on her. I told her about what you were going through and asked her to please give me some advice to pass on to you. Here is what she said:
    “If she hasn’t read the book “36 Hour Day” it’s a must.
    Also depending on what stage he is in, don’t try to make him understand. Just go along with him as much as possible so your no frustrating him. Like if he wants to go see his mother don’t try to remind him that she is dead. Just make an excuse why u can’t go then or try to change subject. This is one of the things I learned a little too late.
    Hope that is helpful. That book is the best.”

    My family and I are praying for you all, Cindy!

    • Thank you Lisa! I need to read that book as soon as I finish Learning to Speak Alzheimer’s which is very practical and fascinating. We haven’t really found the thing to make him happy. He’s almost always grumpy and irritable. It takes so much effort to stay positive. I don’t know how anyone can do this without Jesus. We are awaiting a diagnosis which should come next week. I appreciate your support and friendship very much!

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