My oldest OS Nathan got accepted to UNC-Chapel Hill last week. He has finished all his college apps and is awaiting news on the other schools. With only 20 minutes to spare, he sent his application to Georgetown University the other day. It looks like our son is going to spread his wings and fly! It could be to a well-respected school nearby or one nine hours away.
As we anticipate great change in our household, I admit sometimes I struggle.
Where does the Lord want my son to be? What if it’s far away? What’ll I do? I have to grant my son freedom to go where he feels called but ouch, y’all it’s painful!
In record time, Nathan completed all the necessary paperwork to apply to West Point. He had an endurance test, eye test and physical exam. He got a congressional nomination from a State Representative and we’ve heard they only give out five a year. Our boy was diligent and focused – normally these things take some time, Nathan did it all in less than a week.
One night before Christmas, my OS began to read his responses to the West Point questions on the application. With great conviction, Nathan recited his answers. He spoke clearly and didn’t waver as he read to me that he was willing to die for his country and stand up for what is right even to the point of sacrificing himself. That’s when I began to lose it. Whoa…I had to ask him to stop for a minute so I could get myself together. Of course I was crying as I told my handsome OS that my mama’s heart needed a second to gain some composure. “Nathan, you have never had little feet kicking inside you and you’ve never heard that person who you gave birth to, say things like this. Mom just needs a minute here.”
My sweet boy understood as best he could. Pride, fear, excitement, sadness, love, oh the love overwhelm every part of me even as I write this tears stream from my face.
Being a mom is at times the most selfish thing I’ve ever done but I’m learning to expect new lessons involving having to completely forget about myself and give my growing sons the courage to fly, even if it’s far from my safe and cozy little nest.
I’ll let you know how things are going. For right now, I need to get some Kleenex…