Tag Archives: raising sons

Feeling better – mama of a soldier presses on…

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RDay 063

We are currently experiencing a drought in our part of the country and if I had collected my tears in some type of container, (an incredibly large container), I think I personally could have solved the problem two days ago.

Today is a better day although it was quite painful walking into the house and past my son’s room. 

This picture is of the two OS and me while still at West Point featuring four items of USMA gear along with the jade necklace my friend whose husband is serving in Korea.

The last thing I want to be is maudlin so I’m concentrating on good things. 

I don’t even like the the word maudlin, therefore I’m trying my best to not be characterized as such. 

Instead, I’m going the other extreme by wearing  

– my West Point Mom Class of 2012 t-shirt with
– my West Point Class of 2012 matching canvas bag
– while driving my mini-van with the Proud Parent of West Point Class of 2012 bumper sticker
and reading Absolutely American (an amazing West Point book, highly recommend) and sporting my West Point Class of 2012 baseball cap.

My husband has – 
– a West Point Parent license plate holder
– a West Point Dad Class of 2012 t-shirt

– a West Point golf shirt

P1020552– an Army baseball cap and

– a Proud Parent to be a West Point Cadet’s Parent bumper sticker
along with an Army lapel pin.

Can you notice a theme here? Does it seem just a little over the top? Who cares! 

In some way, it connects us. I might wash my West Point Mom shirt in a couple of days if it starts to stink but I will stay in the laundry room and put it on as soon as it comes out of the dryer. Do you think I’m kidding!? I’m not! 

Despite hundreds of miles that separate us, I am tethered to my child by these small efforts.
Since I like to sew, earlier this spring, I made Isaac a pair of camo-boxer shorts and a camo-pillow case.

My nephew Josiah now has a camo-bib. I also sewed a camo-apron.

Suddenly my favorite colors are either red, white and blue or black, grey and gold. I can’t be there with him while he is learning “knowledge” or doing push-ups or making his bed with incredible speed and execution so in spirit, this is my mama’s way of showing support. 

He doesn’t know it but I do and it makes me feel better = less tears.

I cried so much on Monday that I had salt deposits under my eyes.

My two OS said, “Mom you have this white stuff under your eyes.” I went to the restroom at West Point and it wasn’t Kleenex, it wasn’t makeup, it was dried up tears. Yeah, it was that bad. 

While at the Panera Bread line today, wearing my West Point Mom Class of 2012 t-shirt, a man approached me and said that he used to attend the Sunday night concerts up there by the tip of the Hudson River. I saw that place just a few days ago and it brought me a measure of joy. I felt connected and held back the floodgates.

During this time of transition though I have to share this with you.

I haven’t been able to collect my tears and find a useful purpose for them but someone has.

It is God.

Scripture says in Psalm 56:8 “You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle–are they not in Your book?”  

I can’t tell you how many times I have clung to that truth. If you know people who are hurting, sad or lonely, share that timeless message with them. God is recording their tears in His bottle, on His scroll.

They matter to Him. And if you see me, for goodness sake, please compliment me on my new USMA fashions, it will help this mama of a soldier!

Go Army, Beat Navy!

Check out how things are going as we now await “the phone call” and a silly way we included our NC into a little family fun!

Link to a newscast about R-Day at West Point, I wouldn’t have lasted 10 minutes!

Btw, I love all your comments and stories and want to put them in a future post. They are inspiring even to non-military folks! Keep ’em coming!

R-Day, 60 seconds

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“You have 60 seconds to say your farewells,” a member of the cadre announced as we all stood and prepared for our goodbyes.

A petite framed cadet whom I really wanted to hate was just doing her job. I don’t envy her of having the task of separating parent and family from child.

It was like every sentence she was saying felt like a Peanuts cartoon where Snoopy just hears, “blah, blah, blah, blah.”

Of course all of us knew it was coming, the mood was solemn as we all filed in and took our seats. I wasn’t the only weepy mom in the bunch so I felt a kindred spirit among us.

Oh I held him so tight. Be strong, be strong, I tried to remind myself.

Oh I held him so tight. Be strong, be strong, I tried to remind myself.

There was such a feeling of love and pride, but we all entered into some private, intimate place in our hearts and hugged our babies for the final time for a long while like we were the only ones in the place. Nate grabbed his meager belongings and confidently strode to the front of the auditorium and never looked back.

That was a good thing because if I had seen his face one more time, I would have taken it as a sign to rush forward to get him. I know he is divinely placed where the Lord wants him to be and this is perhaps the most unselfish thing I have ever done as a mother. We prayed and prayed for the Lord to put him where he was supposed to go. I cannot second guess my Heavenly Father. Saying goodbye and letting my beloved child set forth into a new life, I am filled with tears and pride, both never ending.

I remember child birth being very painful but this is really rough. I was in labor for four hours, and it hurt like crud and this process is much longer. West Point is such an austere and noble place, I am humbled to have a son who is in the class of 2012 and have the hat, t-shirt and matching handbag to prove it. I shall be wearing black, gold and gray for a really long time. There is a dignity and a respect I don’t recall seeing at other college campuses we visited. This is the right place for my son and I am thankful to have met a lot of nice guys Nathan will soon be calling friends. Take a look and click here at this link to see what his first day was like. OY!

We are all entering a new phase in our lives. After saying our farewells, there were two floors of vendors and organizations to greet us. Nearly ever booth had a box of Kleenex. It was reassuring to see that in the midst of all this decorum and granite, they had chiseled out a lot of compassion and concern.

We arrive home tomorrow and I do laundry which will include some of Nathan’s dirty clothes. It will be the saddest load of laundry I have ever done in my life thus far. I found the toe nail clippers he used before we dropped him off at West Point. They were in the hotel bathroom and yep, I cried.

The Hubs and I weren't the only ones struggling.

The Hubs and I weren’t the only ones struggling.

Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. I am the mama of a soldier. I am the PROUD mama of a soldier. Go Army, Beat Navy, Huah!

Psalm 63:7- 8

For you have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.
My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.

Leaving civilian life behind, becoming military parents

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We just ate our last lunch as a civilian family in our home. In about an hour, we will head out for West Point, first stopping at a special family’s house along the way which is sure to be a bloggable event.

We are becoming a military family, I guess. In true W-H fashion, we did not have a Norman Rockwell dinner or lunch where we were all sitting around the table, laughing and smiling with every bite, singing Kum-Bi-Yah.

I guess we are a really human family and my expectations might have been too high. I am disappointed but trying to not dwell on things not ending perfectly like I wanted. :/

At this point, I’m averaging about 6-8 crying jags a day and think waterproof mascara is the order of the day for about the next week at least.

If you are reading this, please pray for us as we make this important journey. It is becoming a reality and I need to keep my eyes on Jesus.

I am the mama of a soldier…I am the mama of a soldier.

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

Little buddy Monday and Tuesday

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An absolutely adorable work in progress

An absolutely adorable work in progress

Well, two of my three children are in trouble.

I hate the term “grounded,” as it conjures up bad memories of my own rebellious adolescence so I will refrain from the terminology.

It could be a long and lonely summer at our house because unfortunately our guys are proving there is great truth in James 3:6

“The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.”

So instead of being able to use their tongue in conversation with their friends, their punishment is to spend time with me.

It’s funny to consider that I am a form of punishment but it’s true.

Aaron, my middle OS had his iPod, book and electric guitar removed from his possession and it has been replaced with laundry, a vacuum and his Bible.

Everything is fine right now, he has apologized and we’re moving forward, thank goodness but restrictions are a consequence of his actions!

We have work to do and I’m not backing down on raising three godly young men of honor.

That’s my job and I can’t give up, can’t back down, wimp out, no way, ain’t gonna happen, nuh-uh, no way Jose.

With one son preparing to leave our nest and go off to West Point, my prayer is to see the two remaining guys ready to do amazing things in their lives. They don’t have to be cookie cutter fellas but my heart’s cry is for them to glorify the Lord in all they do.

So yesterday Isaac was my companion and today, well, both Aaron and Isaac are by my side. We could be spending a lot of time together if they don’t watch out.

Ike and I did errands and such and despite it being a punishment, I think he had some fun. I called it Little Buddy Monday and it looks like it’s Middle Buddy Tuesday also.

Instead of strumming the guitar or hanging out with friends, the guys went with me to Nate’s final pediatrician visit.

Nate got three shots, a TB test and three vials of blood drawn.

And to his chagrin, I documented a vast majority of it because I knew you would want to see.

Yes, we all looked like goobers but times like this are ending as my oldest OS begins his journey at West Point in a matter of weeks.

I only get one more shot (pardon the pun). I took this picture of the door when the guys and I were politely asked to leave for the more “personal” parts of the exam.

I ended up feeling a little wistful as I realized that my 18-year-old son is grown. He can see the pediatrician up to 21 years of age but who does that? I can so easily remember the days when these doctors were measuring his head circumference, checking for ear infections, etc.

Today Nate didn’t need nor want my hand to hold although when he had a woozy moment, I was able to stroke his peaked head (I think I needed it more than he did).

Now he is venturing off to grown up places and I entered the pediatrician’s office feeling like we were turning another page. I think it was a blessing it was Little Buddy Tuesday after all.

So our summer begins and parts of our life kind of end. Will there be a Little Buddy Wednesday? Probably! Who knows! Stay tuned!

This was Nate enjoying a little Motts Totts juice box to help him not pass out.

Sigh…

Awkward carrot

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My dad amidst his bountiful tomatoes.

My dad amidst his bountiful tomatoes.

My dad was an avid gardener and I guess I thought it might be in the “genes” as they say.

But I do not have a green thumb.

The Hubs and I are not great landscapers and do not have an eye for flora and fauna.

A while back, we decided we would try a garden.

I love fresh veggies and would take a fresh, warm tomato over a piece of chocolate any day.

Over the weekend, Mark was weeding the “garden” when he traipsed on into the house with this…probably the funniest looking vegetable I’ve ever seen!

According to the seed packet, we should have enjoyed this carrot and all its orange friends a LONG time ago. Our carrot has taken a major time to grow, to say the least

There is a spiritual connection to all this. The Bible speaks about bearing fruit, fruit that will last (John 15:16).

So let me ask you a personal question, what kind of fruit are you growing?

According to the seed packet, we should have enjoyed this carrot and all its orange friends a LONG time ago.

Our carrot has taken a major time to grow, to say the least.

How are you maturing in the Lord?

Can you see growth or development or are you in a weird kind of place, stuck in a rut for years, much like our carrot?

Do you know how long it took for this beauty to grow?

Three years.

That’s right, for three years we have been waiting for something to sprout from our pitiful little garden.

Take a look at the picture, I think it must be a boy carrot. How perfect that a mom of three SONS would receive such a treasure! We have had a lot of laughs with its most awkward shape and at the risk of impropriety, I had to share it.

But I pray you find yourself bearing fruit of a most abundant variety from your verdant figurative garden of faith and if you’re so inclined, from the literal garden the one you might be growing this season.

These boots are made for walking

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One of my favorite songs growing up was the Barbara Sinatra’s (Frank’s daughter) song “These boots are made for walking.”

As a little girl, I would put on a pair of boots and strut all over the house singing this song – full of attitude and sass.

Now fast forward, nearly 40 years later, that song comes back into my head because over the weekend, we went to Fort Bragg and bought Nathan a pair of combat boots.

It’s been highly recommended that he break them in before reporting to West Point on June 30. Fort Bragg is quite a place.

p1010916If you’re looking for a tattoo, a nudie girl joint or a hot dog, then I’d highly recommend Fort Bragg.

I didn’t find the place especially sophisticated or refined!

For this suburban mama, I was missing some of my creature comforts but at least we were able to get Nate his boots and he’s definitely walking in them.

When in the military recommended going to the mini-mall on base, I thought I could get some cool things at a cheap price. That wasn’t really the case.

We had to get our car inspected, our IDs checked, driver registration confirmed just to get on the base. Pretty serious stuff. I didn’t get anything special at the mini-mall unless of course you count that I got hit on by a little Eastern Indian fella. He started talking to me while I was looking at work-out clothes. It was creepy and I certainly didn’t expect it. At first I couldn’t even believe it was happening. My mom heard me talking to someone and then saw me scooting over to her. Finding love at the commissary definitely wasn’t on my agenda! Just give me the stinkin’ boots!

p1010912Since I was absolutely forbidden to take random photos of Nathan trying on boots, (which I wanted to do for you, my blog friends), I had to be very conservative with my picture-taking.

Nathan took a few of the crew comprised of Isaac, Mom and me. I don’t think any of us are fit for duty. The military isn’t that desperate – YET! Thank goodness!

Now we need to order his dress shoes. The ones without polish because at West Point you polish your shoes to perfection.

My own feet ache thinking about all the walking and running my boy is going to do in just two months. My heart hurts too but that’s for another post…probably a lot more posts.

West Point Mom = me

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p1010889The wait is over. The package arrived.

Our son has been accepted to United States Military Academy – West Point!

We were told that if Nathan was rejected, we would receive a phone call; if he was accepted, he would receive a package.p1010896

Just as I was ready to go and speak in a middle school, my husband calls and says, “Nathan got a package from West Point.”

It must have nearly killed Mark to not open the contents but he resisted temptation. p1010891

p1010905Mark captured the moment on camera. This is a very big deal. Our son will report to West Point bright and early 6:30 AM on June 30!

He will attend six weeks of rigorous training (affectionately known as Beast) and after successful completion, begin his 47 month journey at West Point.

I did not grow up in a military family so this is all so new to me.

New terminology, new people, new experiences for all of us, especially our son.

Our family will take him there and say goodbye and not hear much from him most of the summer.

I am not crying as I type this which shocks me.

I am proud, scared, overjoyed, nervous, excited, thrilled, sad and every feeling in between.

I know the Lord is teaching all of us some lessons and has placed all these pieces together for His glory.

I am the mama of a soldier, whoa.

Why Nate is great -18 Reasons

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nateatsevenmonths18 things I love about my son – he turned 18 over the weekend.

1. Nicknames – When Nate was a baby, practically from the minute he “popped” out, we called him “Shakalanna,” “Sheiky Sheiky,” etc. He has new nicknames I am not privileged to share but they are just as weird.

2. Spins and stuff – My son lets me hold his hand when we are walking in the mall. He will spin me around (just once) and let me put my arms around his waist. Not for too long but it sure makes my mama’s heart sing. I feel like the most special person in the world.

3. Honor – I wish I had half the character my son had when I was his age.

4. I love you – Every night, when his youngest brother has gone to bed, my kids have a ritual. Isaac, my 11-year-old OS will shout from the top of his bunk bed, “Night, Nate, love you!” and no matter what Nathan is doing or whom he is talking to, he is sure to shout back, “Night, Ike, love you, too!”

5. Cooking – Nate is not the best cook but he can make a mean salad. He is rather clumsy in the kitchen which is funny because he is so adept at other things. His salad is killer, though.fam303

6. Funny – If Nathan wasn’t my son, I’d want him as a friend. He’s witty and clever. We rarely run out of things to say. I like how he can make funny accents of people he has met. Like the Chinese lunch lady in middle school who would say, “One cookie, 35 cent.” That one comment has provided us with years of laughs.

7. Guns – Nate’s got some sweet guns. He has served as my inspiration for getting back in shape. We compare guns all the time. I’ll never catch up to him but that’s ok.

8. Disciplined – He is self-motivated and driven.

9. Good speaker – Nate is an engaging speaker. He was selected to be one of the students speaking to the entire high school as part of graduation this year. I can’t wait to hear him and will be sure to bring Kleenex as I cry tears of joy.

My three sons10. Cards – Nate will make his own birthday cards on the computer for his friends. They are hilarious and so clever. They are slightly weird but beat any Hallmark card you could ever get.

11. Interesting – My 18-year-old OS is well-read and intelligent. He can talk easily about current events, politics, religion, faith, music and much more. He is very opionioNATEd.

12. The way he treats girls – Nate respects girls and has a lot of female friends. He has done well with respecting the ladies and not leaving a trail of broken hearts along the way.

13. Sleep – Nathan has an imperfect side though. He has to get sleep. If he doesn’t, he’s a stinker.

14. Iron – my son irons. Someone is going to be a very lucky wife one day.

Nathan's baptism 15. People  – Nathan takes  pride in a job well done. He has been mowing lawns for years now and has a very diverse clientele. I love how my OS appreciates different cultures and personalities.

16. Family – What a blessing to have an 18-year-old son who likes his family! We enjoyed a birthday celebration at our house. Mark and I made his favorite dinner – Chinese pork dumplings and he had five close friends join us. He didn’t kick us out of the dining room, we all were together.

17. Not a potty mouth – Yes, there is an 18-year-old guy who doesn’t drop word bombs and cuss like a sailor. How do I know? I gave birth to him! Woot!

18. Jesus – My boy has a personal relationship with Jesus. He is not ashamed to tell others about his faith in His Savior. Nathaniel means “gift of God” and we couldn’t have picked a more perfect name for our oldest son/olive shoot.

All moms should be so blessed to have a child like him. Thanks Lord for this treasure!

My Prince Charming

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P1010543As Spirit Day drew to a close, it was Dress Up as Your Favorite Hero Day and Aaron decided he wanted to be someone extra special and quite appropriate – Prince Charming.

My 13-year-old OS has the pretty face and the affable personality but lacked the actual costume. We don’t do a lot of dress up in our family of boys but with a little ingenuity, we came up with a pretty cool outfit.

First we went to Staples and got some metallic posterboard.

P1010547I didn’t know they made metallic posterboard so that was quite convenient. We cut a crown design out of the posterboard and I glued a ton of little beads around it. It looked so shimmery and royal. Kind of like real jewels but not really. Check out the artistry…

P1010542I had some satin gold fabric and against all odds, I made my first pair of satin prince pants. My dumb sewing machine was acting the fool so my wonderful friend Michele let me borrow her top of the line machine.

It’s a $1500 sewing machine and man, that baby can purr. I’m not sure I’m giving it back to her, I seriously loved that machine. I have told my husband that if he really loved me, he would get me that machine. I’ll let you know how that’s going…I was definitely not worthy to even use the foot pedal of this fine piece of machinery, I savored every second and stitch.

P1010541After finishing the prince pants, I also made him a fancy slate grey vest complete with gold trim. It was so simple to make but I was really proud of myself! I am totally in the zone when I am doing things for my family. During a quick trip to the Goodwill, I found a nice man’s white collared shirt for Aaron – and then the biggest find of all, I bought a pair of women’s shoes. He wasn’t going to wear them, rather he took one shoe to school as he searched for his lovely Cinderella.

As luck would have it, I had a scrap of red satin fabric to make a little sash. When we put the costume together, he seriously looked like Prince Charming! Even when he was standing next to his best bud Zack aka Peter Pan.

This was a Spirit Day our family won’t forget!

The next step onto West Point

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Today Nathan got a phone call from the local West Point recruiter.

He is a 1993 graduate and wants to meet my son.

The guy is coming by the school this Wednesday to answer Nathan’s questions and maybe meet with the principal.

One of the things I have appreciated through this whole process is how everyone seems to be very upfront and honest about what it takes to go to West Point Military Academy.

They aren’t sugar-coating this experience; I feel like we are getting an honest appraisal, perhaps more than at a traditional university. 

My son is Army strong but am I?

He can learn to run in the freezing cold and understand military strategy.

He will be able to scale walls and carry a rifle with ease.

But me, y’all, I am so terribly weak and vulnerable. I am such a wimp. Probably can’t even do a decent push up if my life depended on it.

I’m not talking about my physical strength.
I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, I have to tuck that truth deep into my heart.

I know that when I am weak, He is strong. What would I do without my Heavenly Father right beside me? As my friend Janice reminded me, the Lord knows what it’s like to give up your beloved son. While we were walking on the campus, I began to cry as I thought about my dad.

He never met any of my children having died when he was only 44 years old.

Warm tears streamed down my face as I thought about how proud he would have been of his grandson.

I thought my mother-in-law who is with the Lord now and wondered what she would had to say?

Thanks to some sage counsel from another friend, my husband reminded Nathan of this; he is going to a success wherever he goes. Mark is always a source of encouragement and perspective.

When Nathan was staying overnight in the barracks, he called to check in.

I asked my OS, “Well, what do you think? Do you want to go to West Point?”

He gave me the best answer I could have wanted, “I like it but I’m praying about it.”