Tag Archives: motherhood

Do you remember Sunday?

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On a peaceful Sunday night, quietude filled the home and this mama lounged in her pajamas with the Hubs and her mom. The middle OS Aaron and orange haired, freckle face Isaac were asleep; the kitchen was clean, the dehydrator was going strong as usual.

We were watching a television show I refuse to mention for fear that you would think less of me (!) and suddenly there was a major news announcement. I wondered if there was a severe weather warning. A round of deadly tornadoes has swept our state but the interruption wasn’t from our local tv affiliate, it was from the national news network. The President was going to address the country imminently. What was so important that he had to talk to us so close to most people’s bedtime? Why couldn’t it have waited until the morning? Oh Jesus, what are we going to learn?

The three of us remained glued to the flat screen. As we waited, I googled, hoping to get advanced information that would either confirm or deny my worst thoughts. That was to no avail. Were we announcing another war? Did someone super duper important in the administration die? Was there another terrorist attack?

My spirit felt trapped and my feet unsteady. I wondered about the rest of my family. Would I ever see them again? What about my boy? My Soldier? Surely this news was going to effect him! Something was going to change and there was nothing I could do about it.

Then President Obama appeared on our tv screen. He approached the microphone and gave us the news that Osama bin Laden had been killed.

Although I wasn’t sure what was going to happen next in our country, I knew what we could expect. The phone rang.

It was our boy.”Did you hear the news?” Nate inquired. “Everyone’s going crazy over here, celebrating. We’re pretty pumped.” What else should you expect at West Point? Of course they were ecstatic and rightly so! These cadets are willing to sacrifice their lives for our country and safety, they should rejoice! Hearing Nate’s voice reassured me.

Of all the places to be on this Sunday night, Nate was at a place of historic significance, an institution (albeit imperfect) but nonetheless a place where honor, duty and country mean something.Lord willing, one day my OS will be able to tell his children and his grandchildren about this moment.

He will never forget the time when he and his fellow cadets rejoiced over the news that the sickening mastermind of terrorist attacks on US soil was eliminated from existence. While I sat in my cotton pajamas with my family, my precious child Nate was amidst people willing to die to defend  our way of life.

Among the most epic of all places to be when this man was killed would be at a military academy. Osama bin Laden was found just yards away from Pakistan’s equivalent of West Point.

In only one year, Nate will be graduating from West Point and most likely going to a place of international conflict. I’m not ready to go there yet emotionally and he’s not ready to go there geographically but we’ll need to gear up fairly soon. The Lord has not prepared me for this yet, I’m taking it day by day, not trying to borrow trouble.

I’m not naive enough to think that all of our world’s problems ended on Sunday when that man was felled but y’all, I’m glad, really glad he’s gone. 

For my next post, I’m going to share a story I wrote nine years ago about something Isaac asked me after September 11th.

Friday, it’s Friday

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Soon, very soon, I will be singing this song.

Oh, how I have been counting the hours until Friday…you have no idea.

Since taking Financial Peace University, I have been learning things about money and myself. Sometimes I’m just learning about money. Other lessons pierce my heart. Usually both happen, I feel smarter about financial decisions and more convicted about my own spending habits. 

Oh yeah

With this new system of budgeting, we have an allotted amount of money for things. When the money is gone, it’s gone. I have never lived this way and it’s a struggle. Denying oneself of the things SHE wants or needs is my Achilles heel. I want what I want when I want it, especially when it comes to food. I’m do not have an eating disorder, we are all within normal weight guidelines but food is my weakness. I like to cook, I REALLY like creating healthy meals. What is wrong with that???

Working in a soup kitchen in a poor village in Peru

Um, I can answer that question. When you spend too much money on groceries and you throw away food, that is a problem. When you have gone to third-world countries and really seen hungry people, trust me, pangs of shame pervade your spirit. I have despaired over my wastefulness and lack of culinary creativity. I have felt embarrassed bringing in bags of groceries when the refrigerator was already full. It’s like I’m never satisfied and I really beat myself up afterward. 

My fridge and freezer are emptier than they’ve been in ages. 

I’ve always been able to justify my food spending. I don’t wear lavish clothing, I’ve had a manicure maybe twice in my life, we don’t live in a mansion. My indulgence is food. The Hubs knew better than to question GROCERIES! Hrmph! Did he want us eating JUNK? Did he want us to starve? Just keepin’ it real.

But the Lord is doing a new thing and when the money for groceries ran out this week, I didn’t run out to the store or farmer’s market. What a battle with my flesh to not go and get some food staples! Instead we have been surviving on what we have in our cupboards, freezer and fridge. No one is starving. No one is deprived. I live with a sweet and generous husband who isn’t a tyrant. If I wanted to go to the store and buy bananas, asparagus, flour, quinoa, sweet potatoes, firm tofu, carrots, kiwi, agave nectar, applesauce, butternut squash, rice milk, mozzarella cheese, onions, lettuce, cinnamon, milk, kale, aluminum foil, pineapples, wakame seaweed, etc., etc. (can you notice the zeal with which I wrote this list???)  I could have done that. 

It’s obvious Dawn dishwashing liquid is DEFINITELY on my list!

But this has been between the Lord and me. Not the Hubs and I. And oh how I have valued being in contact with like-minded women via blogs like Lizzie, and Mary and Jenn and Julia along with facebook, phone and just regular fellowship. YOU have blessed me and fed me in ways the food couldn’t. Thank you. 

I have about a tablespoon of gas in my car. Not complaining, just waiting until FRIDAY!!!!

God has been telling me to hang on until Friday. And with great confidence, He’s promised me that this isn’t going to be an April Fool’s Day joke with Him. He has been saying, “Girl, I got you. I am providing. Let me do this.”

I believe every word of this apron I made.

I’m still going to write my “obituary” but I just had to share. Can you relate? 

Dehydrating the days away

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I hesitate to even write this post lest some of you become envious of my exciting life.

Going hither and yon as I do, one minute I’m dropping a cylinder of salt on someone’s head at Trader Joe’s, the next I’m waiting for my stepfather to finish his colonoscopy.  Oh, the thrilling pace of my life!

So if you must, depart from this post immediately. I will understand.

But yesterday was a Red Letter, adrenaline pumping day for me because…

I became a food dehydrator owner!

About an hour after establishing a location for my new toy, two bunches of bananas were sliced, spritzed with lemon juice and ready to christen my Excalibur Model 3926T. Btw, the “T” stands for the 26, yes, 26 hour timer, an outstanding feature, if I do say so myself. 🙂

Now my first batch of dried bananas sit in the pantry. They look and sound like wooden nickels but taste much better. My orange hair, freckle face OS isn’t completely enamoured with them but I’m not giving up. I’m going to make this work in my family. My OS and the Hubs will appreciate my efforts at conservation and nutrition or face my wrath.

My new appliance murmurs away the kitchen and today, the trays are loaded with apple slices, strawberries and carrots. The apples were going to spoil soon, it is pleasing to put them to good use and not be wasteful. Don’t you admire people that can put things together simply? They use everything and don’t squander the smallest morsel. They also don’t hoard and that to me, seems to be a challenge. I want to be the kind of woman who is a faithful steward of the things she is given yet I also desire a clutter-free, welcoming home. Striking the right balance requires skill.

As silly as getting a new food dehydrator may sound to some, trivial though it might be to a person who pities the stay-at-home mom for the supposed drudgery of her life, I am thrilled with my new purchase. The thought of caring for my family, feeding them healthy things and learning new homemaking techniques brings me contentment.

According to Mary Bell’s Complete Dehydrator Cookbook, why in no time, I will be making Backpacker Tuna a la King and Fancy Tomato Leather Chips. Yes, my OS’s lunch bags will be filled with beet leather and homemade crackers and friends shall crowd around them begging for a mere taste of these delicacies! My West Point OS will plead and beg for boodle loaded with Backpacker Fancy Macaroni and Cheese or pineapple sliced seasoned with cardamom. I can see it now!

While reading the recipes to Ike, I prophesied a future father/son camping trip complete with Backpacker Rice Balls Wrapped in Nori and kayaking adventures energized thanks to Tom’s Red Wine-Marinated Dried Fish. My comments were met with an impish grin and rolling of the eyes.

Ain’t she a beauty?
Um, maybe this isn’t the right technique???
Bananas full of hydration – not for long, you guys!
A not so wonderful reaction to braised daikon radishes
This is the expression I anticipate in the future from my orange hair, freckle face OS!
I’ll be sure to capture their noteworthy reactions as my dehydrating repertoire continues! Let the drying begin!

Cupid goes to West Point

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Chuck Norris hangs with the cadets.

Many important people have come to West Point.

Chuck Norris

and Miss USA although not on the same day…

Someone seems pretty happy to be near Miss USA!

Someone seems pretty happy to be near Miss USA!

Geraldo Rivera has stopped by WP and

so has The Prince of Orange.

"Hey everybody, I'm the Prince of Orange! How you doin?"

“Hey everybody, I’m the Prince of Orange! How you doin?”

Of course Presidents have traveled to WP and

so has Aunt Em all the way from Ohio!img_0918

Yet, I think that if you asked my oldest OS who was the sweetest person to recently stop by USMA, he’d say Cupid.

Cupid brought greetings from El Salvador!img_3498

February 14, 2011 was Nate’s first Valentine’s Day as an official “boyfriend” or as they say in Spanish “novio.”

Nate and Lu began their official dating relationship about seven months ago.

If you haven’t read any of the background story and you like modern-day fairy tales, click here and here.

I respect their relationship because it is based on the right things and they are trusting in the Lord as far as their future together is concerned.

Long distance relationships are difficult but Nate and Lu seem to make it worth. Can you say, “awww”?

From the moment I met this young lady (and I remind my OS that I met her first so he owes me BIG time), I knew she was special. You know your son has a great gf when she asks YOU for Valentine’s Day ideas. We conspired and came up with a plan. Since it is hard to celebrate this day with thousands of miles separating a couple, we enlisted the help of friends at West Point.During the day, Nate got a message that he had a package to pick up. He arrived at Central Guard Room and here’s what he received.As we all know, nothing says “Te amo“ more than a flashy Spanish Valentine’s Day card.  

Interestingly, our WP Cupid connection doesn’t speak a word of Spanish but according to Lu, the sentiments were just perfect. In addition, my oldest OS from the world’s great parents got a gift certificate to Sushi King, a sushi restaurant that also serves deli sandwiches located in bucolic Highland Falls.

If love alone could have flown Lu to West Point, I know she would have delivered her gifts personally. We pray my OS’s gf’s visa is approved in the near future. Nonetheless, we are thankful for good friends who believe in nurturing relationships between two awesome people. Last year for Nate’s 20th birthday, he also went to Central Guard Room. After hearing his name blasted over the loud speakers announcing he had a special package. We sent him this…

He traipsed back to his room with this cheerful bouquet.

I don’t know, which is better, teenybopper balloons of Miley Cyrus or the sweet love and friendship of a beautiful Salvadorena? DUH!

What makes tulips more beautiful? A beautiful girl from El Salvador!

Speaking to my OS and hearing joy in his voice is cause for year-round celebration.Check out the pretty tulips Nate sent Lu!Incidentally the Hubs gave me tulips on Valentine’s Day when we were dating.Good thing Cupid is a world traveler!
Even Nate’s Great Aunt Em stopped by WP!
The look of love? EW!
Happy Valentine’s Day 2011
The Hubs and me with our good friends who are also Cupids in disguise
Last year Nate celebrated his 20th b-day with Miley – HA!

Spirit Week 2011 begins

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Oh how I love Spirit Week!

I love it so much, if it were up to me, every school would have a Spirit Week just for parents.

There was no Spirit Week when I was in middle school or high school so I live through the SW of my OS. Yes, according them, I’m kind of like a stage mom when it comes to Spirit Week.

images1With Aaron’s medical struggles, there was less parental involvement in Ike’s SW this year. This resulted in my orange hair, freckle face OS wearing a pair of store-bought pajamas on Pajama Day. We had even picked out special material six months ago for me to make just for him. Alas, Ike decided he wanted to show off these pajamas. He won a gift certificate because of his footed sleepwear.img_20110214_155457

But now that my middle OS is feeling so much better, nearly all of my parental energy pours into Spirit Week 2011.

Monday morning, Aaron pranced into school wearing his designer-made sea turtle pajama pants. I wanted to create a sea turtle applique for the t-shirt but he sternly spurned my suggestion.

photo 24Tuesday was Animal Kingdom Day. Last year my middle OS was a pupa. We twirled yards of brown toile around Aaron to encase him.

It was truly hilarious to see the perplexed looks of students and teachers. They asked Aaron what he was and he confidently stated “a chrysalis in a cocoon.”

Then in the middle of Mrs. Davis’ Spanish Class, Aaron asked if he could go to the restroom.

Let the changes begin!

When Aaron returned he had metamorphosed into a beautiful, extremely large butterfly ~ He wore his grandpa’s really yellow golf pants and custom-made wings.

Truly breathtaking!

We thought this was an apt description of adolescence and doesn’t every teenager want to be reminded of puberty on Animal Kingdom Day? I thought so!

So how do you top being a pupa?carpenter-ant-illustration_530x349

p1160061

Well, we’re not sure but staying in the insect world, this year Aaron was a carpenter ant.

My middle OS donned a hard hat with antennae, an electric drill and drill bit along with a tool belt. He also “grew” an extra pair of legs which I sewed last night.

p11600282Here is proof that I am a great mother – making carpenter ant legs just before bedtime.

There were many creative animal costumes. For example, Zack, Aaron’s best friend was a swan complete with a feathery behind that wiggled back and forth as he walked. p1160052

Aaron will be a senior in high school next year. I’m already thinking of ideas.

p1160055Just wait, the rest of the week is quite creative and unique also!

PS. I just learned that Aaron and the science teacher were the only invertebrates in the school today! Wow, I’m even prouder now!

Ring, ring!

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If the cliche wasn’t so true, I wouldn’t use it but where has the time gone? Nate is now ring shopping!

Two cuties in El Salvador

If your heart skipped a beat, and you’re like “Wha?????” settle down there! If you imagined our OS searching for a shiny bauble for a Salvadorena beauty, I’m sorry to disappoint you. We’re not there yet.

Nate is ring shopping for himself and deciding about the type of ring he wants as a 2012 graduate of the United States Military Academy.

* June 2008 R-Day, my boy walked by us in the parade and oh how I wanted to run and grab him take him away from all these people yelling! Nate had made his mind up, he was going to West Point and I couldn’t stand in the way.

During an impromptu visit home (which aside from Ike’s flu, made it the best MLK weekend I’ve ever had!) Nate showed us the brochure featuring his ring options.

What a huge ac- complishment for our OS to be on the other side of the 48 month experience known as West Point. I sat beside him on Sunday pondering that the eager, determined teenager who entered West Point on that most notable day is now a competent, strong leader and man.

I like this figurative place as a WP mom.

You see, I’m strategically positioned to be content about all that he has done while not giving too much worry to what he’s going to do AFTER graduation. I can celebrate the cool stuff like my OS getting a ring and block out the “other things” like when and where he will be deployed. Not. going. there.

Let’s just concentrate on jewelry, shall we?

What makes a West Point ring especially significant is the symbolism literally melted in the ring.

Following the death of a West Point grad, some families, upon the bequest of the departed grad or simply to pass on tradition, donate the ring back to West Point. It’s called the Ring Memorial Program.

The ring is then melted and the shavings are used to help create a new ring.

When West Point grads receives their ring, they have a part of the men and women of the Long Gray Line with them.

* This is the march back from Buckner where Beast was held – a momentous event!

The design of the 2012 crest features two swords symbolizing the graduates going from a cadet to an officer. I will stuff my purse with Kleenex as I see this ring on my boy’s finger. Partially because it will be no small feat to get a ring over his  gi-normous knuckle and also because I will be bursting with pride.

Next year, the Hubs and I will attend the Ring Weekend. Nate will be on the receiving end of Ring Poop which thankfully has nothing to do with #2!

I will buy an expensive new dress and possibly several new outfits for the event.

The Hubs and I are attending Financial Peace University so I guess I’ll need to start saving up right now because this girl is gonna bring it! 😉 I won’t be wearing anything like this.

WOW!

Personally I like matching shoes.

But perhaps something like this?

Hmmm…This might be a little over the top but then again, maybe not!

As the mama of three sons, it’s rare for me to talk bling in this household so I’m going to cherish this moment and not hurry to the next!

When your son is a Soldier…

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I like being a mama. Of all the titles I have acquired in my life, the title of mother is among my most treasured. Any derivation of mother, be it madre (what my oldest OS calls me), mama (what my middle OS calls me) or mommy (what my orange haired, freckle-face OS used to call me) those names are like a song to my ears.

I am the mama of a soccer player/ basketball player (Ike) and the mama of a thespian/10th senator in student government (Aaron) and the mama of a West Point cadet and Soldier (Nate).
 
And with each acquisition of a new title, I am attuned to things which pertain to that OS. Especially the latter. As soon as my OS was accepted into West Point, my ears were keen to anything relating to West Point, the Army and New York. I admit I hardly gave a passing thought to those things previously. Those days are gone. I listen to news about the Army, Iraq, the Middle East and I have read two books about Afghanistan.

Yesterday as I was driving to a speaking engagement to MOPS (Mothers of Pre–Schoolers), I heard some worrisome news about New York City. If I were a doberman, my pointy ears would have perked up. New York City. Terrorists. Bombs in backpacks. Those words get my attention. The city is on a heightened state of alert. Thus so am I. I try to remain calm and not let fear overtake me.
 
Last night Nate and I had a conversation I’m sure we’re bound to have many times in the future. Knowing that he has some important plans in New York City this weekend, I did what any good mama of a Soldier would do. I suggested he cancel his plans and opt for a safer time on post. I also stated that not only did I think he should stay on post but his grandma concurred..

His reply, “Are you serious?” I think a part of him wanted to laugh at our outrageous request.
 
I had readied a response. “Nate, look, this is my job. I’m supposed to tell you that I’m concerned about you. I’m supposed to ask you to be safe. I already knew your answer before I asked my question but I just had to ask. I say my things and you say yours, that’s how it works.”

You can’t tell a Soldier not to go somewhere and expect him to listen to you because it might be dangerous but hey, it can’t hurt to try, right? RIGHT??? 

 I have asked moms I know to pray for safety in NYC especially on Saturday. Not just for my OS but for everyone in that city. All I know is that I will be happy when I hear my OS’s voice on Saturday evening. May it be so, O Lord.

Like a bowl full of Jello

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images-1I wrote on Tuesday how I enjoyed being normal.

Then Wednesday happened and I went to the hospital with a fast and irregular heartbeat.

When they hooked me up to the monitors, my stupid heart was pounding at 209 beats per minute.

I felt faint and clammy and utterly exhausted. My moment of normalcy was short-lived.

I’ve lived with a weird heart rate since I was a little girl.

When I was pregnant with my oldest OS, I had an especially nasty bout of it, quite similar to Wednesday’s episode and was hospitalized overnight for that event.

Finally they gave my heart problem a name, it’s SVT, supraventricular tachycardia. With little warning, my heart will flutter like a bowl of Jello. I do not like gelatinous things, in particular when that gelatinous thing happens to havoc in my body.

images-3A friend called and I tried to ignore my crazy heart and speak normally. I’m not sure I succeeded though. Then another friend called and this time, I felt too weak to talk. The Hubs was having lunch with a friend and when he returned, he noticed I wasn’t any better. I didn’t complain or protest when he announced we were going to the hospital.

If you are ever looking for a quick way to be seen in the Emergency Room, have a heart problem. You will suddenly become a high priority patient.

I was quickly ushered into an examining room and before I knew it, an IV was inserted into my arm after two tries. I felt very weak and lifeless and then the doctor told me I was going to have some medicine pumped in my veins.

images-2The nurse grabbed my arm and asked me if I was ready.

Say what???

I couldn’t understand why they were asking me this, what was going to happen?

Was I going to feel something?

The nurse emphatically told me yes, I was going to feel something.

No sooner had the adenosine entered my system, then my heart rate went from about 209 to about 113 in a matter of seconds.

It’s like you’re driving fast on a slippery road and then suddenly you hit the breaks and stop.

I was blessed because the adenosine worked on the first try. I learned that this doesn’t always happen. I also learned I do not like bedpans…

I saw the cardiologist today and will try another medication to help keep my heart beating normally. Have you ever thought about how we take for granted things like a strong and steady heart beat? As of Wednesday, I praise the Lord for my husband being home to take me to the hospital and for a beating heart that’s behaving.

When strangers speak the truth

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Have you ever had someone who doesn’t really know you, say something very profound to you?

And have you noticed that when that happens, that person usually is clueless as to the depth of the statement s/he has just made?

If you answered yes to these questions, you will understand what happened to me today at the Apple Store.

I had scheduled a One-on-One appointment with a skilled Apple technician because as of Wednesday, I became the proud owner of a brand new aluminum 15″ MacBookPro. This computer purchase was necessitated because I was never the owner of the MacBookPro I have been using years with my job.

But when I lost my job in June, essentially I lost all rights to that computer. It wasn’t mine, was never mine and they deserved to get it back. It’s as simple as that. On this cloudy summer day, I brought both computers to the Apple Store to make sure I had transferred all the personal stuff from the old computer to my new “baby.”

Austin, the Apple guy, guided me through the process and everything was going quite well. I had been looking forward to the appointment and getting the job done. With great ease, Austin helped me and erased non-work items off the computer.

And then he said it…

“There won’t be any trace of you on this computer.”

And with a nod of my head, Austin clicked a few more things and 1,866 items began to disappear before my very eyes.

I choked back the tears. I thought to myself, “Don’t cry. Don’t. Cry. You’re at the Apple Store for Pete sake! Puh-lease!”

So I adjusted my emotional big girl panties and didn’t cry. Wow, that wasn’t easy! There were some quiet and awkward moments where neither Austin nor I spoke.

Photo flashback of my previous life. I was blessed to do this and relieved when it was all over. Eight years was enough.

Photo flashback of my previous life. I was blessed to do this and relieved when it was all over. Eight years was enough.

I composed myself and watched the computer transition from being something I used and personalized to being just another piece of work equipment ready for someone else. Austin was right. There isn’t any trace of me on the computer.

I hope I will be remembered for the work I did and the love I poured into it. But more importantly, as a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, oh how I want to have lived a life that matters. I pray that the traces of me I leave behind are worthy of the life I was given.

Psalm 103:15-16 and verse 22
As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
Praise the LORD, all his works everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.

Signs, signs, everywhere a sign

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Our family has a tradition we have enjoyed for years. Whenever we find a business or a sign which has one of our names, we will stop whatever we are doing and take a picture in front of that sign.

I’m not sure when we started it but I’m always on the lookout.

sc0174ed77All across the fruited plain, if I spot one of our names, I grab the camera and capture the moment. Yes, it has annoyed “certain” family members but that doesn’t stop me.

Join me on a trip through Memory Lane…

We took these pictures during a camping trip through Maine and Pennsylvania. We will never forget the time spent in our pop-up in Freeport and Bar Harbor, Maine.

When the Hubs and I returned to Maine for our 20 wedding anniversary, I just had to stop by this street sign!p1000059

During A-Day weekend, I stretched the rules a bit and had Ike stand by this sign since it was made just for him. For your information, yes, Isaac was really excited to do this-NOT!r-dayandafter210

And then, despite a broken foot, I prodded the Hubs to make a weird turn on a busy street just so I could hop out of the car and get this picture of my mom and I in front of this restaurant in New York!

Of course, I also couldn’t pass up this sign near Philadelphia when we went to see Nate and the Army/Navy game.dec2008011

This summer in Raleigh, Ike paused for a photo-op at his hip-hop store in Raleigh. Who would have thought that a freckle-faced, orange haired 12 year white kid could be so enterprising and multi-cultural?

p1080927p1090438And wow, how cool to see that Isaac has branched out and now has a store in downtown Wilmington! You’ve got to check out Isaac’s hats and suit selection! Stop in and see for yourself!

As we were returning back to our condo, despite a threatening thunderstorm, complete with dramatic bolts of lightning, I made Aaron stand by this sign.p1090474

And I guess we got our oldest OS on a good day because after miniature golfing at Carolina Beach, I was able to successfully coax this pose in front of THIS sign!

For days I had been begging for a picture and when he finally said yes, I leapt in the Equinox for joy! You gotta love it!p1090529

What are some of your family traditions? I’m always looking for new things to make memories and create family identity.