Soon, very soon, I will be singing this song.
Oh, how I have been counting the hours until Friday…you have no idea.
Since taking Financial Peace University, I have been learning things about money and myself. Sometimes I’m just learning about money. Other lessons pierce my heart. Usually both happen, I feel smarter about financial decisions and more convicted about my own spending habits.
With this new system of budgeting, we have an allotted amount of money for things. When the money is gone, it’s gone. I have never lived this way and it’s a struggle. Denying oneself of the things SHE wants or needs is my Achilles heel. I want what I want when I want it, especially when it comes to food. I’m do not have an eating disorder, we are all within normal weight guidelines but food is my weakness. I like to cook, I REALLY like creating healthy meals. What is wrong with that???
|Working in a soup kitchen in a poor village in Peru|
Um, I can answer that question. When you spend too much money on groceries and you throw away food, that is a problem. When you have gone to third-world countries and really seen hungry people, trust me, pangs of shame pervade your spirit. I have despaired over my wastefulness and lack of culinary creativity. I have felt embarrassed bringing in bags of groceries when the refrigerator was already full. It’s like I’m never satisfied and I really beat myself up afterward.
|My fridge and freezer are emptier than they’ve been in ages.|
I’ve always been able to justify my food spending. I don’t wear lavish clothing, I’ve had a manicure maybe twice in my life, we don’t live in a mansion. My indulgence is food. The Hubs knew better than to question GROCERIES! Hrmph! Did he want us eating JUNK? Did he want us to starve? Just keepin’ it real.
But the Lord is doing a new thing and when the money for groceries ran out this week, I didn’t run out to the store or farmer’s market. What a battle with my flesh to not go and get some food staples! Instead we have been surviving on what we have in our cupboards, freezer and fridge. No one is starving. No one is deprived. I live with a sweet and generous husband who isn’t a tyrant. If I wanted to go to the store and buy bananas, asparagus, flour, quinoa, sweet potatoes, firm tofu, carrots, kiwi, agave nectar, applesauce, butternut squash, rice milk, mozzarella cheese, onions, lettuce, cinnamon, milk, kale, aluminum foil, pineapples, wakame seaweed, etc., etc. (can you notice the zeal with which I wrote this list???) I could have done that.
|It’s obvious Dawn dishwashing liquid is DEFINITELY on my list!|
But this has been between the Lord and me. Not the Hubs and I. And oh how I have valued being in contact with like-minded women via blogs like Lizzie, and Mary and Jenn and Julia along with facebook, phone and just regular fellowship. YOU have blessed me and fed me in ways the food couldn’t. Thank you.
|I have about a tablespoon of gas in my car. Not complaining, just waiting until FRIDAY!!!!|
God has been telling me to hang on until Friday. And with great confidence, He’s promised me that this isn’t going to be an April Fool’s Day joke with Him. He has been saying, “Girl, I got you. I am providing. Let me do this.”
|I believe every word of this apron I made.|
I’m still going to write my “obituary” but I just had to share. Can you relate?