Category Archives: memories

Love is a many splendored thing!

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The following post is published with permission by my oldest OS. When you have a son who is skilled in military stuff, you must be careful…

So my last post ended with my oldest OS journeying to El Salvador. He wanted an “epic” summer and by anyone’s estimations, he was successful. In the span of 10 days, Nate traveled to Lithuania, Slovenia, Latvia (his fave), Estonia and Finland. 


Then he returned to West Point and oversaw a squad of new cadets during Beast. Being a new cadet the social equivalent of being lower than a plebe or an amoeba at West Point and I’m sure it was sweet relief for Nate is now a cow (a third year student) to be large and in charge.


Upon completing his detail, Nate boarded a plane bound for El Salvador. This is when our OS showed another side of leadership many people prefer to overlook. Submission – the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person and that is knowing when to submit to authority. Who were and are the superior forces to whom my OS submits, you might ask?


1. The Lord Jesus Christ
and
2. Lu’s dad…


(Enter dreamlike sequence…)

Nate eagerly passed through Customs and scanned the crowd in the airport. Suddenly his eyes fell upon the prettiest, smartest, most awesomest 😉 young woman a guy has ever seen. And it wasn’t just your everyday sultry Salvadoreña walking past him. 



No, this beautiful girl was looking eagerly for him too. She was there to see him in person, face to face for the very first time. Their eyes met, their arms hugged, apparently it was magic. It would have totally killed the moment, but I would have loved to have seen that!


They spent the day hanging out and if I know my boy, he was grinning from ear to ear. Who cares if he had barely any sleep the night before! Nate was feeling like the most blessed, luckiest guy in all of the Americas – North, South and Central! At last, he was near Lu.



My blonde-haired gringo gathered plenty of stares as he strutted around the streets of San Salvador with Lu. Yet if someone would have asked if she was his girlfriend, his answer at the time would have been “not yet.” That is because Nate still had something very important to do. He needed to first ask her father for permission to see his daughter.

And unlike most of us who faced with a similar situation would have bee-lined over to Lu’s house and hurriedly asked her dad just to get it over with, Nate chose the honorable and respectable option. He waited until the time was right.


I’ll tell you more in an upcoming post. I need to have them “approved” before posting! 🙂

Ephesians 3:20-21

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.


Adventures – Vicarious in Nature

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Today seems like a good day to blog. I didn’t realize it had been nearly two months since my fingers had tapped out an entry. My health has been relatively good and my exercise regime is consistent. It seems to take longer to burn off the calories from a Heath bar than I can remember but I’m not complaining. This summer I am living vicariously. No big adventures planned for me but plenty for my family. Some adventures I am cleared to mention, others need “approval” but I hope to speak of them soon!

Adventure #1 

My orange-haired, freckle face OS Isaac had a visit to UNC Children’s Hospital, more specifically their operating room. He had an abdominal hernia repaired. An uneventful surgery, praise the Lord but still a big deal for a 13 year old guy. I had a proud parenting moment when the surgery was deemed worthwhile since we didn’t know going in if they were going to find a weakness in his abdominal wall. The Hubs was questioning the surgery, I was the one pushing for it. I love the moments in our marriage where we synch and rely on each other’s instincts. It was a necessary operation and I was happy that Ike hadn’t gone
through all that for nothing. He was exceptionally stoic aside from being worried someone might see his “privates” during the surgery. To Isaac’s chagrin, I mentioned his concern to the doctors who smiled and assured us they would do their best to avoid any sight of that “area” during the procedure. We left the hospital with our pain-ridden child and the skies opened up with sheets of rain pummeling our car. We called Aaron to meet us outside with an umbrella so we could get Ike into the house thus avoiding the rain. As the Hubs and I were gingerly walked our ginger upstairs to bed, I asked Aaron to get the mail. In hindsight, this was a really dumb idea considering what happened next. 


Aaron ran outside with the umbrella when suddenly a huge bolt of lightning pierced the sky. It sounded so close that I felt the bolt down in my feet. A horrible feeling entered my mind, “Did Aaron just get hit by lightning?” I mused. Nah, the idea was just too perposterous.  It was just too far-fetched to imagine that one son could have been struck by lightning just as we were taking another son upstairs following surgery. Since we’re such loving parents, we kept taking Ike upstairs but seconds later Aaron leapt into the house. His eyes wild with fear, his voice octaves higher. While outside retrieving the mail, umbrella in hand, Aaron saw a giant bolt of lightning strike two houses a street behind ours. Soon we heard sirens and fire trucks filling the area. He truly did almost get hit by lightning! Thankfully none of our neighbors were hurt but extensive damage occurred in both of the houses.
Adventure #2


Our oldest OS began his summer with travel. Nate begins his Cow year (third year) at West Point and following exams swiftly boarded a plane bound for  Eastern Europe. A group of 10 students some ROTC others WP cadets, visited the Baltic States and studied its economic conditions, its role in international relations along with its culture and history. He even found himself in the Latvian news. Click here to see pics! He’s the cutie patootie with the white shirt and headphones! Gaa! My OS looks so diplomatic with the headphones on listening to translators. Sometimes I chuckle when I think of how this young man is MY boy. Others see him as a leader and as an adult, yet I can still see his toe-headed face in Barney overalls and I still get to call him silly nicknames! I just close my eyes and can see him bravely wielding his plastic knife on a mountain in North Carolina despite the fact that he is growing up and building a life of his own. (That is a good thing I must keep telling myself.)
Here is the YouTube video documenting some of their time in Latvia. My OS is shown in :26, :39, :49, :57 and in 2:01 you will notice him playing with his pen. That’s from his father’s side of the family. 😉 Nate is the one who says, “How are you doing, Ma’am.” Gaa again! I was impressed when MP and former Foreign Minister of Latvia, Artis Pabriks stated that the United States and Lativa are “brothers in arms.” Thank you Saiema Chancellery for allowing me to use these images.


Nate saw the Hill of Crosses, the Museum of Genocide Victims which was set up in the former KGB headquarters and is the only one of its kind in the former Soviet Union.

He even got his picture taken with a “torturer” who was handing out brochures in Estonia and that’s some-
thing most of us have never done!

Other notable events included going to the General Jonas Zemaitis Military Academy of Lithuania, and attending a briefing at the US Embassy in Estonia. I found myself having to check the globe to figure out where my OS was since my knowledge of that part of the world is quite limited. It never occurred to me that other countries have military academies. I think we all can be very myopic in our worldview and travel expands our minds in many ways. My oldest OS brought me home a CD of Latvian folk music and although I don’t understand a single word, I love listening to it and transporting myself to that faraway place my son visited. In total, Nate went to four countries in less than two weeks. Yes, he is having an “epic” summer. More to follow on that note…
Adventure #3 

This will only seem an adventure if you are a bibliophile. I have read over 1,000 pages this summer! That’s a very big deal for me. One of my greatest passions is reading and sadly I don’t do enough of it. This summer, however; I am returning to my love of books and I want to share with you what I have read thus far…
River Town – a fascinating book about an American Peace Corps volunteer who taught American literature in the heart of China’s Sichuan province.
I Am Hutterite – This non-fiction book chronicles the life of a woman who spent her childhood in a Hutterite colony in southern Manitoba, Canada. I enjoyed hearing about how she transitioned living in popular culture while still treasuring the life she left behind.
The Good Earth – this is the second time I’ve read Pearl Buck’s classic about Wang Lung, a peasant. There are so many striking moments in this timeless book. The first time I read The Good Earth I wasn’t a Christian. Now I have found so many Biblical parallels, it gave me much to ponder. My family hears about Wang Lung, O-Lan and the poor fool all the time. You must read this if you haven’t!
The Good, Good Pig – Ike and I read this together. Named one of the Best Books of the Year by The Christian Science Monitor, The Good, Good Pig was a charming true story about a 750 pound pet pig. Ike and I looked up new words and expanded our vocabulary while discussing this sweet novel. I cried a little bit at the end.


Belong to Me – a fiction book recommended to me by my mom. It was an intriguing story about women and friendships.

I’m now reading Isaac’s Storm for my personal pleasure and Fever 1793 with Ike as we work on his comprehension.
My adventures are being found in the lives of those I love and in the pages I turn. It might not sound like fun but I am loving this perspective.
More soon, I promise. It feels good to share!

The Clinton Co-inky Dink

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Wayyyyyy back in 1997, I went to a country style restaurant in downtown Raleigh to support a presidential candidate whose wife was going to make an appearance. To my delight, I somehow managed to not only see but talk briefly and shake the hand of none other than Hillary Rodham Clinton. It was a thrilling moment for me and I remember joking to my friend that I would never wash my hand again.
Well, a lot has changed since that day. I have washed my hand many times and have changed my political affiliation. My faith and my priorities have been completely transformed since that time as well. Still, I will admit I think that was a pretty cool thing especially in light of my OS’s recent encounter. 

Nate is a member of the Domestic Affairs Forum (DAF) at West Point and he too, has had a brush with some pretty famous people. The DAF focuses on politics from a national, local and state level and the club took a trip to New York City. According to Nate, joining a group at West Point is “money” and this trip to NYC is one he will not soon forget and here’s why. 

The cadets toured ABC News and met with Bob Woodruff. You may recall that he was the reporter who was seriously injured when hit by an IED while embedded with the Army in Iraq. They visited New York Times newspaper and nearly 20 cadets met with the very loquacious Ted Sorenson, speech writer for President John F. Kennedy. 

They saw President Theodore Roosevelt’s home in New York. TR is one of Nate’s heroes. 
Those things are certifiably “legit” but the trip got even better one evening when the cadets attended the David Letterman Show. 

Not officially on the itinerary, nearly 20 cadets arrived at the show around 4:30 pm, pulled a few strings and landed some tickets. I thought the David Letterman Show was done live at 11:30 pm, untrue, it’s actually filmed in the late afternoon. 

We received a call from Nate who told us to look for him on the show. Although I don’t like DL nor do I find him particularly amusing, Dave did gain two new temporary viewers as the Hubs and I actually tuned in to watch. Tom Hanks was a guest and he made mention of the cadets in the audience and how much his dad hated the Navy. Far more importantly; however, we saw our OS seven times! I do believe he should be getting several movie or modeling contracts as my cadet looked so handsome! And he was smiling. Ask any WP mom and we all agree, it is wonderful to see a smiling cadet.
But you want to hear the ironic connection? Remember my brief encounter with Hillary Clinton? Well, my OS got to meet her husband! That’s right, Nate met President Clinton! They met him in a swanky hotel while Clinton was in town raising money for Haiti. Initially “Bill” as we like to call him (HA!) was only going to pose for a photo op but he actually met with the cadets for about 10 minutes. While there Nate approached the former President, introduced himself and shook his hand. Like mother, like son.
Personally, between you and me, I think they probably wanted to bring Nate up and interview him but didn’t want to hurt the other cadets’ feelings. He would have been a very engaging “celebrity” if I do say so myself. 


Check out this clip and you will see my OS for yourself. How cool is that? In a mere nine seconds, Nate appears on the screen for the world to enjoy! Gaa!

Lost and found

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It is strange and curious thing to do a google search of your grandma’s name and see a bunch of “hits” appear. Prior to Saturday, the only time I had ever googled my grandma’s name was um, never. In fact, it was only because of a frightening set of circumstances that I thought about ever doing it and here’s why.


Saturday evening around 7, the phone rang. When I saw the area code of the person calling, I got nervous. I don’t get a lot of phone calls from this area code and this time my anxiety was justified. The phone call was from my sister informing me that my grandma who lives in Florida was missing. My sister called many states away from both of Grandma and me and she said that Grandma had been missing for several hours at that time. As I hung up the phone, I almost couldn’t feel and horrible things came popping into my head. Our family gathered around to pray as I crumpled in a heap of despair.

The police had been notified and were looking for her. Grandma’s friends had called my aunt after she hadn’t arrived at a friend’s house as planned. Unbeknownst to me at the time; my almost 90 year old grandma had recently gotten lost in the daytime. When her friends opened the key to my grandma’s house, she was gone and the car keys were gone. The cell phone was left on the table and the Life Alert my aunt insisted on her using was still in the box.

I put prayer requests out on facebook and for all the pain that facebook can cause and wow, let me just say, it has caused A LOT of pain for me recently, I was comforted by the outpouring of love and prayers said all over the country for a person many fb friends do not know.

Watching tv was like looking at a blank screen so I reached for the thing of hope that is 100% reliable. My Bible.

I began doing my Teen CBS lesson and admit that I had trouble concentrating. I opened my Bible and did as the lesson prompted which meant reading a Scripture verse I desperately needed.

Philippians 4:6

6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

By then my grandma had been missing for five hours. She has a bad knee and I pictured her hobbling in the dark. I thought of her being scared and because of an active imagination or too much tv, (never CSI, praise the Lord!), many other horrible pictures came to mind.

In the small space provided, here’s what I wrote in my lesson

10:07 pm – Grandma missing for five hours. Father, you want me to read this – you know my heart, my sadness and fears – I am so weak – do not be anxious about anything – seriously!?

ANYTHING!? Yes!

Around 2 am the phone rang again. The Hubs quickly removed his C-Pap machine and scrambled for the phone. My grandma was found! She had driven all the way to Naples, Florida which is about 2 1/2 hours away. She had been driving for NINE hours without stopping. Confused, Grandma entered a convenient store and the only thing she recalled was that she had a business card of my uncle’s. The clerk called and soon my grandma was located, stayed at a nearby hotel and life will never be the same.


Since that fateful night, I have cried so much that on Sunday the sides of my eyes were sore from the salt in my tears. My grandma left on a plane to Chicago where my aunt lives and she will never return to her home. She had wet herself and needed a shower and doesn’t understand what all the fuss is about.

I fear other posts about this situation and about dementia or Alzheimer’s but for now, let me focus on the comfort I had in leaning on the Lord. I am afraid and sad beyond words but the words I read on Saturday night were not an accident. Though they were hard to put in practice, they are true.

Googling your grandma is not a good thing. Seeing a Breaking News story about one of your dearest, best friends who just happens to be nearly 90 and a close relative is yucky. My grandma has been very private about her age and now everyone will know she’s almost a nonagerian! The good thing though is the Good News – both the literal one that my grandma was found and the spiritual one I found and find in Jesus.

Spirit Week fun

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One of my children (who shall remain nameless because I like my life,) is afraid of midgets.

If you want to creep him out, turn on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I’m not exaggerating. We are a short-statured people so I’m not sure what his problem is but I have been known to sing the Oompa Loompa Song or the Wizard of Oz Munchkin Land song around him. It is funny to see this otherwise very macho OS squirm.


So it’s a good thing this un-named OS isn’t home very much (ahem,) because today would have been very unpleasant for him.

I say this because it’s Spirit Week for the middle schoolers and today is Character Day. My anonymous OS would be in a dither because his orange hair, freckle-face brother along with six other buddies dressed up as the Seven Dwarfs!

When Isaac told me about the idea last week, I agreed as long as Ike wasn’t Dopey. Considering our most recent challenges, there was NO way my OS was going to be Dopey. Or Grumpy!


But Ike is Happy and so am I! Several moms including myself banded together and individually added pieces to the boys’ costumes.

One mom and grandma made hats. They even researched pics of the Seven Dwarfs from old Disney books and pictures! Another mom made white beards and wrote the names of each individual dwarf on a colorful t-shirt. Talk about authentic! I purchased seven pair of black sweat pants on sale at Wal-Mart and some twine for a belt. The moms are as excited as the sons and our collective talents made this particular Spirit Day less stressful and totally adorable!


To Ike’s chagrin I came to school twice today to take pictures. Apparently there is nothing worse for a 13 year old boy then seeing his mama two times in one school day, even when she’s wearing makeup! Excitement filled the air, giggles and smiles abounded. I cracked up at the creativity in the middle schoolers. There were two guys who dressed up as Michael Jackson, before and after. There was even a Lucky Charm leprechaun. So fun!


My OS attend a private school. They wear uniforms, adhere to strict behavior policies and must study hard for the stringent academics. Spirit Week is five days when the standards are just as high but the atmosphere is more relaxed. High school Spirit Week begins next Monday and it’s sure to be memorable as well. If Aaron succeeds in his plans for Spirit Week, it will be epic, mark my words!


I leave you with some pics of the recent fun and links to former Spirit Weeks we have enjoyed.

We’re already brain-storming about next year!

Hoarders, part two

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And now for a deeper hoarding issue…


The washrag is gone. I am ok with it. At times I feel silly like, seriously, Cindy, get a grip. It was a stupid washrag. A Barney washrag at that. I probably spent less than $2 on the thing. And if I’m being real here and it’s my blog so I can do with it what I want, I am pushing away feelings of sadness that the threadbare Barney washrag is loosed from my home. It has absolutely no emotions, no nerve endings, it was a totally inanimate object but if I allow myself, I can feel sad for the washrag. Like it’s missing me. Just being real here.

Which then evokes feelings about other things I miss or anticipate missing. Loved ones who are gone, children who are growing, family members who are aging or ill, friends that disappointed me, hopes, dreams, the list goes on and on.

Which then brings forth feelings that I sometimes hoard.

Resentment, fear, bitterness and anger come to mind. Because of Christ, I have had great victory in this area. Nothing of my own doing, that’s for sure. Before coming to know the Lord, my list of hurts was very long. I embedded a lot of pain and used it as a weapon when necessary. But God in His faithfulness, not only removed all the items on that list, He also took care of the even longer list I had created for myself. Sins that are none of your business, others that I have shared here on this blog and publicly.

So I’m learning to let go and clean up. And like the clients featured on Hoarders, to maintain order, one must be vigilant. It doesn’t take too much time for physical and emotional issues to pile up. I must make room in my home and in my heart for new things. Getting rid of the Barney washrag was something the Lord prompted me to do. I hung onto it for days and had it near the trashcan and it took days for it to go. Something that weighed mere ounces suddenly was too heavy to move. Until last night, that is.


Enter dreamlike sequence…

Years ago, I found a diary from middle school. Not much was in it but the usual 12-13 year old girl drama. However, amidst the boy crazy musings, I flipped through the pages and discovered an entry about a family member I chose not to name. In this entry, I wrote about an especially mean thing this person had said to me. Now 3o years later, I held the pages in my hand and it was excruciating.

In my middle school girl’s handwriting; my adult woman’s eyes fixated on those nasty words. What was I to do? I brought the diary to my husband and showed him the entry and started crying. I am a frequent crier. Don’t believe me? Click here and here and here and here and here.

I didn’t need that memory or that reminder but how could I throw out MY diary??? How could I let that go?

It was then that the Hubs offered to do some-thing I could not do for myself. In a beautiful act of love, he offered to throw it away. I nodded and I never saw that diary or those words ever again.

The diary, the Barney washrag, old wounds and hurts need to be discarded. It is time for a new season. Those items were weathered and useless. I can no longer cling to them.

Tears are welling up in my eyes as I type but I need to share this. Maybe it’s just for me and this is a completely selfish post but if it’s for you, let me give you permission, let it go. Whatever the “it” is. Let. it. go.

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,and a season for every activity under heaven:


2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away…


Hoarders

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Have you seen the A&E program Hoarders? I watch the show every week on Channel 161 on Monday nights from 10-11pm. If I don’t watch the new episode, I DVR it. Yes, I am a faithful follower.


One of the reasons I like the show is I have a celebrity connection. I have worked closely with a frequent expert on the program.

A few years ago, hoarding and organizational expert, Geralin Thomas helped me transform my home office. I was NOT her first client nor am I a hoarder but wow, she was amazing! My home office had previously been a place of embarrassment and dread but with her assistance , my office became a thing of personality and beauty! As I watch Geralin work with her hoarding clients, I often hear her saying things to the hoarders that she said to me. I’m sure that is mere coincidence, right?

Another reason I like the show is that it’s fas- cinating. There are these distraught people living in absolute squalor and they toil and lament throwing out the smallest thing. A piece of paper, a withered basket, a mildewed book, everything appears to be impossible to dispose of properly. There is filth and dust everywhere and they agonize over minutiae! It feels like a personal victory to me when the people seem to make progress but I admit the show can produce anxiety in me as I see their mess flash over the tv screen.

And as I sit in my family room on Monday nights, just as I’m ready to kick my judgemental side into full gear, I am chastened. The reason is that on each Monday night, during a commercial or when the program ends, I begin looking around my own house and discover things that need to go. In my purse, my closet, my dressers, there is stuff that has long overstayed its welcome and usefulness. It is freeing to release things that are no longer needed but honestly it can be sad.

I originally had this post almost ready to go several days ago. I didn’t publish it because I hadn’t accomplished the thing I was going to write about. But I’m mustering the courage to do it today. I am going to do it no matter what!

I am saying goodbye to an 18 year old washrag.
I cannot tell you the age of any other washrag in my house but this one is special to me. I might even say I love this washrag. The threadbare cloth belonged to my oldest OS when he was a little boy. Nate will be 20 in a few months and it is/was a Barney washrag. Most of the purple dinosaur has been scrubbed away but it’s been the first washrag I reach for in my linen closet for lo these many years.

My OS has long since parted ways with Barney. He’s a yearling at West Point and has no affinity whatsoever to this thing.

But I’m a sen-timental mama. This silly washrag represents an adorable, toe-head boy who is my pride and joy and is now a remarkable young man full of ambition and integrity.

When Geralin helped me in my home office, I would find myself struggling with getting rid of things. She gave me permission to dispose of things and assured me that if I threw something out, it didn’t diminish the love I have for that person! What a revelation!




So with that in mind, thank you Barney washrag for the memories! Thank you for doing such a great job all these years! You’ve cleaned a lot of body parts! 😉 You certainly outdid yourself but I’m making room for new memories and really hoping Nate will find the West Point gift shop has a West Point washrag or a Digital ACU towel for Mother’s Day!

Do you have a mouth guard?

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Since I was a little girl, I have loved puzzles. One of my favorite moments was when my dad would bring me home a puzzle.


In my daily life, I look for pieces of life. You know, things that inextricably fit together. On a good day, I’ll put those pieces together and have an “aha” or a praiseworthy moment. Other times I’ll be chastened because it’s obvious God is trying to teach me something.

Oh boy, if you have been following my blog lately, it should be apparent that we have had a lot of “puzzling” moments! OY!

And so I thought I’d share with you some awesome pieces I put together today.

Months ago, I attended a Winter Sports Meeting at my OS’s school. Not particularly thrilling or dynamic but I paid attention when the principle cautioned parents of basketball players to purchase a mouth guard for their athletes.

After a few games, I had legitimate fears of Ike’s teeth flying all over the court and immediately purchased the mouth guard. Ike was threatened within an inch of his life if he didn’t wear it while playing. Yet there was one game where he forgot the mouth guard completely and many others where that mouth guard has been perched partially out of his mouth providing absolutely no protection for his pearly whites. My eyes would bulge out of my head and he would experience my wrath from the bleachers if I didn’t see the mouth guard exactly where it needed to be. We affectionately call them motherly death rays…

Then we had our “humbling moments” and our Apology Tour. On Friday night, after Isaac was fast asleep, I decided to future torture myself by folding a load of laundry. I opened the dryer door and what did I see staring right at me? Yes, Isaac’s mouth guard. (This photo is a dramatic re-enactment.)


At first I felt like Satan was poking me in the eye. Like the Devil was saying “Haha, Looo–ser! Some mom you are! I guess you won’t be needing that mouth guard anymore now will you? Hmmmm?” I could see the Father of Lies snickering and doing some serious knee-slapping revelling in the misery of our sadness and disappointment. Jerk.

Along with the clean clothes, I held the mouth guard and truly felt a profound sadness clutching it in my mama’s hands. It represented embarrassment, shame, hopes dashed, hurt and fear. I wanted to throw it out.


But as the weekend pro- gressed, we could see some rays of hope. Ike was repentant and willing to make amends. Parents were willing to forgive and offer mercy. Three generations – grandmother, daughter, brothers, sons, father all held hands Saturday morning and prayed out loud, one after another for all aspects of this situation. And the mouth guard stayed away from the trash.

There are other puzzle pieces I might share in future posts regarding these recent incidents but I truly believe that the Lord placed that mouth guard in the dryer as a reminder to me.

Psalm 141:3 Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 5:4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.

In every day, Ike (and me and maybe even you, no offense) need to wear a mouth guard. Maybe not an ugly plastic one but one that protects us and others from unkind words, filthy talk and gossip. My orange hair, freckle-face teenage OS confessed to me that nasty words fly out easier on the basketball court. No duh! Now we have yet another reason his mouth guard must remain in the position where it was designed. From the bleachers, I am on the look-out making sure my OS’s mouth guard is where it’s supposed to be.

Puzzle pieces everywhere. When this whole thing started, I thought the nice mom calling me was placing an order for an apron – WRONG! But I am ever thankful for what she ultimately gave me – refining moments which are teaching us as we relentlessly, endlessly love each other and our Lord.

On the road to redemption

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One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Lamentations 3:22-23

Because of the LORD’s
great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

I have these verses displayed in my office. As a Christmas gift, how apropos that Ike gave me an adorable small framed print of these words created by a gifted friend and artist. Click here for more details.


These words have been put in action the last four days. As parents we have experienced a humbling and tiring weekend. Phone calls, conversations and consequences have substituted the normally scheduled events. I am not complaining, it has been absolutely necessary and cleansing. It is not a weekend I care to repeat but if necessary, we will repeat but I’d rather not. Join with me now in a group prayer…Please, oh Lord, let us not repeat last weekend!


As my orange hair, freckle-face OS continued the Apology Tour on Sunday, the Hubs and Ike headed to yet another girl’s house to ask for forgiveness. I can only imagine my OS’s heart was pounding as he neared each girl’s house, walked up to the front door and shook the hands of her mom and dad preparing to apologize to the young lady he had offended.

And it was while going “there” that the Lord also placed a beautiful symbol of hope in the midst. As the Hubs drove, Ike sat with a plate of homemade, fresh from the oven, from scratch chocolate chip cookies on his lap, my youngest OS looked up to the sky and saw something unexpected. He saw a rainbow.

I didn’t see it and I love rainbows. It wasn’t meant for me. Aaron didn’t see it and he thinks rainbows are pretty cool. Apparently Aaron didn’t need a rainbow at the moment either. I believe that my OS, the one who most needed to feel hope and promise, was given this beautiful sign from the Lord.


I doubt there was an orange hair, freckle face teenage boy in the entire world on Sunday who needed a rainbow more than Ike. Some people might view this as a mere coincidence but not me. Think whatever you like but we don’t get a lot of January rainbows around these here parts. According to our Christian faith, rainbows are symbols of God’s faithfulness. God placed a rainbow in the sky as a sign of his covenant with Noah to never again destroy the earth and all living creatures by flood.

In Revelation, the last book of the Bible, John saw a rainbow around the throne in heaven.

And on a Sunday when I believe my OS needed a reminder that the Lord was with him, my OS looked up to the sky and He spoke to my baby. His child. His rainbow. Our hope.

Amen


"Do you love me?"

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If you are a parent, you will understand.


This week, my orange-hair, freckle face OS asked me a question.

“Mom, do you love me?” he inquired, partially in jest while in the kitchen. I was on one side of the island and he on the other, just so you know the logistics…

I paused, slightly surprised that he would even wonder and said, “Isaac, you have no idea how much I love you. You will only understand when you have your own child how much I love you.”

And then I started to cry. Just so you know, I am a frequent crier. Click here and here and here and here for more details.

Fast forward to Friday – We learned some disappointing news about our OS. A normal day turned dark with just a mere phone call as we received information that was humbling and sad.

A Friday evening we had been looking forward to suddenly changed and we began the arduous process of loving our child even to make tough decisions and inflict severe punishment. You do not need to call Social Services, btw.

I know the pain of loss. I have felt the anguish of shame. I am familiar with anger, ahem…But last night was a new experience for me and that’s because I wasn’t the one who had perpetrated the offenses. It was my own child. A phone call from another mother brought to light things I didn’t know and I stood there in the same kitchen, near that same island and felt like sinking into the ground. The boy I pulled out of my own body 13 years ago and have loved fiercely ever had profoundly disappointed our family.

This is the boy who surprised us with beautiful red hair and has been the delight of my soul and also my greatest parenting challenge. My last baby and as any mama will understand, I would die for that child.

As sad as I feel, I have been moved by the prayers of others who became aware of more of the details I won’t share on this blog. God’s Word has refreshed, uplifted, encouraged and given me hope. How cool is it that last night after my OS was asleep, I began to do my Bible Study and was led to read Proverbs 28:13
He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

Before we began the process of addressing the issue, the Hubs, Ike and I held hands and prayed. After we were finished, purging the issues and explaining the punishments (plural!), we prayed. This morning as we sadly uncovered more things, our family which included Aaron and my mom, the Hubs, Ike and I held hands and prayed again each one taking a turn and speaking to the Lord, asking for His healing touch upon all effected.

There was no cursing, no hitting, no slamming doors or threats. Considering how I learned to deal with things in my past with my own family of origin, I can only point to Jesus and His Hand in this situation. At times I found myself shocked at how calm and patient the Hubs and I were as our son’s sins were brought to light. We were supposed to have fun last night! This was NOT FUN! When the Hubs tucked Ike in to bed last night, he prayed for him. We told him we loved him and we would get through this. We assured him there was victory over these things and though he might feel like his life was ending, through Christ, he can be restored and redeemed. It is so hard to be a seventh grader, can I get an amen!


Today is a new day with its own set of challenges and mercies. I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do…