Sometimes it feels like Alzheimer’s is contagious
The person diagnosed is changing
But so are the people effected by his decline
I not only wonder where he is going
I feel like I don’t even remember who I am anymore
My brain is intact
Yet the amount of energy and anguish
The stress and the uncertainty
The lack of family unity (not with our own three olive shoots, praise the LORD!) at a time when you should be able to rely on each other the most
It’s like we’ve been bitten by a Russell’s viper
Which incidentally, is a very bad thing.
I find it hard to concentrate on much else
Alzheimer’s
Dementia
Destruction
Anxiety
What was I doing before this?
I was reading a book for pleasure
And now I’m afraid to even try to pick it back up
Because it’s another reminder of what life used to be
I cannot even find the tears
My Awesome Olive Shoots 
Oh, Cindy. I don’t even have words. Just know I’m praying for you and Mark.
Thank you Meredith. We are on the struggle bus almost constantly. I love being your friend.
REALLY REALLY praying hard for you Cindy! So sorry you and Mark are having to walk through this.
Thank you Phyllis! It means a lot to have supportive friends who will storm the gates of heaven on our behalf. We need it desperately!
I echo the previous comment. I will pray. Beyond that, there are no words to convey the emotion your entry elicits today. You will get through this. And your world will right itself again. Hang on tight to the only One who knows you best and loves you most.
I really appreciate your blessed assurance. Right now it’s hard to believe things could get better or worse for that matter but trusting in the One Sovereign is the correct mindset. Bless you for your comment and I’m sorry this post resonated within you because it means you understand and I wish NO ONE to understand this.
As someone going through the same thing with my MiL, I have some understanding, though I know everyone’s journey is slightly different. Please just know as lonely as it feels, you are not walking this path alone.
Thank you Angele! I cannot even imagine another person going through this, it’s unbearable. We are Army Strong though and I’m tapping into that right now after a defeating morning. I’ll be lifting you up in prayer.
So sorry, my friend. I will pray for you and your family as you all deal with the changes.
Thank you, Maxine. Don’t mess with an Army family, that’s my motto! Bless you for your support and comments!
Cindy, I am so sorry that you and Mark & fellas are on this journey. It’s like you are in your own kind of Ranger school, but without the benefit of deadlines. I pray for you guys every time God brings you to mind, which is often these days. Love you, friend!
I know what you mean about your book you were reading and what it represents. You are forever changed. It can take awhile to pick up the pieces and make a new “normal.” Life will be hard for a bit. And sad and confusing. BUT … God will bring beauty from ashes. One day you will read again and savor moments and smile and feel relaxed. It will happen. But until then, hang on, pray, write, talk – do what you need to keep going. The Lord is your strength!
I read this and thought of you:
‘…even to your old age I am he,
even when you turn grey I will carry you.
I have made, and I will bear;
I will carry and will save.’
Isaiah 46:4
You are in my prayers x
Keep blogging my sweet friend – you are a gifted writer and God is glorified in your journaling and blogging. Again, I thank you for your transparency and real-ness with “LIFE”. I miss you like mad!!
Love you!
Janice