I’ll never forget the day I began taking Ambien. I was visiting my brother and his wife and meeting my baby niece for the very first time in Chicago. My mom and I stayed at a nearby house and when it was time for bed, I took the little pill
and can’t remember a thing after that…
but I slept and that was important for me because slumber was eluding me
The next day I was looking for the ice cream we had bought and my mom told me the strangest thing.
She said that I had eaten all the ice cream the night before.
The news both surprised and frightened me but the possibility of not sleeping concerned me more
And so I began taking Ambien every single night 😦
When I heard about all the goofy things people have done on Ambien. Tiger Woods, Kerry Kennedy and others, I have felt embarrassed for them
and for me
And I would remember when the Hubs told me about a few of my incidents. Like the time when I came downstairs late at night in a dress, stood in front of the tv, looked at him, didn’t utter a word, turned around and then went back upstairs.
I found the dress by the bed in the morning with no recollection of ever having worn it and I was wearing pajamas. (Ok, that is unusual behavior…)
And the times when stupid words would come out of my mouth and my family would tell me they didn’t like the way I was behaving. (Just try to laugh it off and apologize)
And my OS sometimes had to escort me to bed because they weren’t sure I could do it on my own or they would find me asleep on the floor a few steps from the bed. (Oh why did they have to see me that way?)
Oh how I hated these moments, they were dreadful to me. I felt cursed and broken quite honestly.
But for 4,017.66 days, Ambien was my “friend.”
And when I would see the commercials that spoke in cautious tones about Ambien being habit-forming, my head dropped in shame
because that was me
Until two weeks ago
and that’s when I stopped taking it
and last night
by the grace of God and I truly mean those words, I slept eight glorious hours free from the hypnotic effects of Ambien.
It hasn’t been easy but I’ve been doing it
and I want to tell you about it because you or someone you love might want to know it is possible
I am breaking free…