I feel like I’m never going to be able to do it. Today was the most discouraging swimming lesson thus far. My spirit, my body, my hopes sunk. I feel like an aqua failure. Maybe I’m always going to be the girl out of water, the mom who can’t swim. If you know how to swim, celebrate this gift, oh how I envy you.
While at my swimming lesson tonight, I got a nasty flashback to high school math class. I remember understanding math and being so excited because it all made sense. For a few classes it was like it all seemed to come together and I was optimistic. But then things started to get more complicated and I had trouble keeping up. Little by little I got more and more behind. I didn’t flunk the class but never went very far in that subject. Now three decades later, here I was, in the swimming pool at my gym having those same hopeless feelings. Only this time I’m a middle-aged wife and mama in a bathing suit.
I was trying and trying but just didn’t seem to be getting it. My arm was in the wrong place. My ears came out of the water. I kicked too hard. I kicked too softly. I breathed in water and felt a wave of despair waft over me. After repeatedly trying and failing quite terribly, it was my turn again. Coach Doug gave me the go-ahead and basically I froze. I just couldn’t do it. And before I could stop myself, I felt tears filling my swimming goggles. Coach Doug must have known something was wrong and he came over and gave me a hug.
Apparently I am a nervous swimmer. It seems implausible for me to slow down my strokes and I’m not going to give up but boy, do I feel like this is never going to work out. One moment I could envision myself this summer in the water, splashing and playing just like all the other people out there. Tonight I feel like I’m doomed to failure.
As far as I’m concerned, (and I know some of you will disagree with me) well, quite frankly, I think swimming is more difficult than childbirth. I’ve grunted three children out of my body and although I didn’t find the experiences especially enjoyable at the time, somehow I was good and proficient at it. This swimming stuff is proving a great challenge.
Hang in there, Cindy!! You’re going to get it!! You’ll be swimming olympic laps in no time! I just signed Katie up for swim lessons…I’m hoping we get in to the May class! Maybe we’ll run into you!
I think Katie is going to have an easier time than me! I hope your girl has less swim issues than me considering it wasn’t too long ago when she was swimming around the womb! HA! Thanks for the encouragement, I need it!
You can DOEY it!!!
I’ve never given birth to a child, but I know how afraid of swimming I am. Maybe it’s because there is an element of not bein able to control and I need control. One thing I do know is how amazing you and and you can do it! Keep swimming…become Dorie in Finding Nemo and just keep on swimming.Love you.Lorri
One more thought…I think it is much harder to do alot of things as an adult vs a child. As children we have no fear, thus the element of fear doesn’t come in to play while we are learning new things like swimming, ect.
I would definitely agree that swimming is more difficult than childbirth. I mean, your body does a lot of the work itself during the birthing. And when you’re swimming, you’re doing all the work. And you don’t even have your own nurse! Keep it up. You’ll get it eventually. And if I look half as good as you in a bathing suit when I am a “middle-aged mama,” then I will be one happy lady.
I think maybe you’re being hard on yourself! Just remember that you don’t have to have beautiful, flawless strokes in order to stay afloat and have a fun time in the water!