Category Archives: Nathan

Earth, wind and fire

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I don’t want to deceive anyone and make you think that we are just one big happy family all the time. We fuss and argue, we agitate and frustrate. Try as we might, there are times, far too often, when we even get disappointed in one another and yell. Even on vacation. Apparently I have a certain look, my children know too well where my jaw tightens, my eyes bulge out, it’s quite lovely I’m told. Luckily there are no pictures which have captured such a moment. If there are, I will delete such photos immediately. You will only see this look in person, never on film!

To prove my point, I wanted to share a very W-H moment we had during our trip to the coast. It was a cool summer night on Carolina Beach. There is a long stretch of beach at Carolina Beach where you can camp or make fires. Put this on your list of things to do before you die. It’s really awesome. And it might just be a guy thing but my men like to burn things. So on this crisp July night, Nate, Aaron and Isaac create a mighty bonfire and the hubs and I join them. We gather around the aluminum fire pit that was placed in a hole dug in the sand. (Remember this part).

Ike grabs a reed he had pulled from the sandbar and fashions a skewer for marshmallows. Quite resourceful. Apparently Isaac unwittingly adds extra fiber to the marshmallow which I note upon biting into my gritty summer treat. Then Nathan adds additional sand in my mouth when he kicks up his heels walking past me, not on purpose but whatev. (This might have been a eye-bulging moment.) Thanks, Soldier/Son!


The hubs and I depart and the boys continue their time by the roaring fire. (Remember this part.)

Legend goes that the boys were putting out the fire on the beach, ready to retire for the evening. It’s around 11pm and Aaron says smugly, “I’m just gonna enjoy the hot sand while you guys work.”Aaron holds the flashlight while Nate and Ike pick things up.

It is about this time that Isaac pours sand over his brother’s foot. The sand near the fire was warm and good but the sand Ike dumped on Aaron’s foot had been directly on the coals. It was poker-hot. In Aaron’s vernacular, “insanely hot.” Ike wasn’t trying to hurt his brother but indeed he did, giving him a second degree burn on the top of his foot! While the hubs and I are chilling in the condo, Aaron is screaming on the beach, Nate is getting angry both at Isaac for doing it and Aaron for shrieking, and our 12 year-old, orange-haired, freckle-face Ike is numb. A precious moment? Hardly.

In the middle of the night, Aaron had trouble sleeping because of the pain. We helped him the best we could and in the morning, it was feeling somewhat better. If you ask nicely, Aaron will show you the singed foot hair.

Thankfully, though we were laughing about it by the evening. Aaron might have another scar to add to his collection. Ask him about the scar he obtained while running into a urinal, or hopping up a brick step to our house. He’s quite the conversation piece.

When all is said and done though, it is well with my soul. I still have three OS who when together, still say “I love you” to each other before bedtime. This includes if they are on the phone with friends. How many teenage boys do you know who interrupt a conversation with a buddy just to shout, “I love you” to their annoying kid brother? Yes, I am blessed beyond measure.

Woefully imperfect, etched memories are sometimes burned into our lives forever, pun intended. (This is a picture of our family on a ferry to Southport, days before the charming burning incident.)


I’d love to hear your vacation stories! Got a scar story? Tell me!

June 29th is a curious day

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What is up with these kids of mine? They are all gone as of Monday. And what is up with June 29th? This is the second year in the row that I have bid farewell to one of my OS on that blemished day. When I told my boys that I wanted them to be confident, independent people, I wasn’t thinking they were going to take me seriously! When I told them to go where the Lord wanted them, I still hadn’t finished praying specifically that it was just going to be up the street not far away as in West Point or Guatemala! Zheesh!

How come they listen to me about developing into their own person and following the Lord’s leading but these guys can’t seem to remember to pick their clothes up off the floor?? Kids these days…

The house is now empty. Nate has been gone for two weeks at Camp Buckner until 15 July (I wrote it the Army way ~ huah.) He is doing fun things like shooting stuff, sleeping on rocks and other assorted merriment. Ike, my not so little orange-haired, freckle-faced 12 year old left for Crossroads, a Christian summer camp complete with a tummy ache just prior to leaving. Miss me!

And then there’s my middle OS whose journey-bound to Guatemala. Wasn’t I the one who prodded this kid in the fall? “Aaron, you really should go. Aaron, this trip is made for you ~ you’re gonna love it and it will mess with you (in a good way.) Aaron, I’m tellin‘ ya, you really should pray about doing this…” He listened and now look at me. Waa.

This will be Aaron’s first trip overseas and it’s without us! What was I thinking? I truly believe this is where the Lord wants my boy and I am excited to hear about all that he experiences along the way. I know my OS will have a blast as he uses the talents the Lord has given him to minister to the people he encounters but I am admittedly human and already miss him.


We took the OS to the airport yesterday and I think if it had been possible he could have flapped his wings and flown to Miami all by himself. “I’m pumped!” was the frequently heard sentence for the last two days. I hung onto my OS’s neck and once outside my grasp, Aaron strode confidently to the security gates.


Just like his brother on R-Day, Aaron never turned around and ran back into my arms – my open arms that desperately wanted to hold him back but didn’t because it would have been way wrong.

Here is Aaron – June 29th, 2009

This is Nate – June 29th, 2008 ~ This is a picture I can barely look at, oh the anguish and the pride of that day!

Instead, just like his brother last June 29th on R-Day, Aaron moved forward to his destination and never looked back. I guess those are indications that just like his brother, Aaron was ready to leave. Not because he hates his parents or his life but because it is time. That is a good thing, right??? Somebody tell me “Cindy, this is a good thing!”

Three girls going on the same mission trip were flying out on the same flight. It was delayed by four hours and I distinctly recall talking to Aaron and he said he was having fun with his “friends.” They even all sat together on the plane! We spoke to him later that night and he was giggling and having trouble finishing our conversation. Why? He was having fun with his “buddies” already cracking jokes with the fellas on the trip.


The fourth of July is this week but I think June 29th is fast becoming our family’s Independence Day.

Reader’s Choice

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Reading allows us to steal away to a different time and place. I find reading so peaceful and transportative (is that a word? If it isn’t, it should be!) I go to places in the pages that I will never visit and some that don’t even exist. I usually prefer non-fiction but depending on the first few pages catch me, I can easily enjoy fiction.


And I tend to think of reading as a gift because it sym- bolizes time where I am not busy. We are blessed beyond measure to live in a country where books are bountiful and many of us are literate. I am disheartened to have encountered many teenagers who cannot read at a grade appropriate level. Reading, in my opinion, unlocks your mind and gives you opportunity.


I am proud of myself because in a matter of about pages, I will soon finish one book, purpose to finish other and complete a book I’ve been reading with Isaac for oh, say, the last 18 months.


Here are the books that I will soon have read in their entirety. Drum roll, bugles, fireworks, balloons, please…

Three Cups of Tea – the author came to West Point for a book signing and my OS got me an autographed copy! Amazing story!

The 2 Degree Difference – a book I bought at a marriage conference that’s been quite inspiring

and finally

Pistol – The Life of Pete Maravich – a book I NEVER would have read by myself and when Ike announced that there was an F-bomb in the first page, I promptly grabbed the book out of my 12 (then 11 year old’s hands!), thank you very much! Surprisingly, we have thoroughly enjoyed this biography for the last, oh say, 18 months with my OS Ike.

I can’t wait to tell you about them because each, in their own right, has been a changing transformative experience. Please note the ever-so-subtle word-smithing I used – transportative/transformative. Wow.

But I thought I’d enlist your help and see what YOU think I should read. In an attempt to be resourceful with the things I have at home that do not require an additional purchase, I have the following books on my list.

Which one do you think I should read next?
Here are your/my choices:

Off the Deep End – The probably insane idea that I could swim my way through a midlife crisis-and qualify for the Olympics by W. Hodding Carter

Come Back to Afghanistan – A California Teenager’s Story by Said Hyder Akbar

Around the World in 80 Dinners – 50,000 Miles, 10 Countries, 800 Dishes and 1 Rogue Monkey by Cheryl and Bill Jamison

Peace Like a River by Leif Enger – a book that is on my mom’s and husband’s lists of best books of their lives

I would appreciate your suggestions. Now back to reading! I look forward to the results!

Emotional Chicken Soup

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The challenges of being a West Point mom began before I officially became a West Point mom. Oh the tears I shed last year as I prepared my heart for the strong likelihood that my beloved oldest OS would leave the nest and go far, far away. Y’all should have invested in Kleenex or any kind of “facial tissue product” during that time because you could have made some serious cash. 

At the slightest mention of West Point, I was prone to a watershed of tears. It didn’t take much for me to completely lose it and I can honestly say that my faith in Christ and abounding prayers saved me from going nuts. And don’t even get me started on that day at 6:30am when I gave my boy a final hug and he began R-Day which was probably the saddest and proudest day of my life. Here is a picture of the saddest and proudest day of my life. 
He’s more than halfway through his plebe year. It hasn’t been easy and that’s an understatement but my OS made the Distinguished Dean’s List and was Cadet of the Quarter in his company. Yes, I am bragging! 

But now he’s sick for the first time and I’m far away. It stinks because I can’t take care of him, (not that he would welcome his mom “babying” him at almost 19 years old) but I wouldn’t feel so hopeless. West Point isn’t the best place for a sick kid with a virus. It’s a breeding ground for germs since everyone lives in close quarters. With some prodding, we urged him to seek medical attention. Nate acquiesced but actually getting the medical attention is easier said then done.

In the civilian world, we call the doctor and schedule an appointment. Often we can be seen the same day. At West Point, (and I am so NOT trying to be disrespectful because I truly honor the military) you get your sick, lazy butt out of bed at 5:30AM, stand in line with other sick cadets and wait to be seen. You hopefully get to see the doctor but unlike at a traditional university, where you can probably skip class and recuperate, at WP you don’t get to chill in your room and get better.

Plus if there’s a snowstorm (and there was a biggie this week) and you’re sick, well that’s even worse. In that case, you get your sick, lazy, dragging butt out of bed at 5:30am and stagger into the blizzard. Once at Sick Call, you stand in line for an hour only to hear that they won’t be able to see you today. And then you take that same, sick, lazy, dragging, virus-ridden butt back out into the frozen tundra and back to class! 

Here is a picture from my plebe’s window on Monday. 
I feel so powerless! I am 10 hours away and my plebe is miserable! So what does a mama of a Soldier do? She prays. She prays with her husband. She prays by herself. She asks her friends to pray for her boy. She writes on his facebook wall. She calls him. She annoys and pesters him. Because she loves him. 

And she sends him emotional chicken soup. This idea came to me a few days ago as I thought, if he were here, I’d make him chicken soup replete with homemade chicken broth, maybe organic carrots, etc. But since I can’t, I send my plebe a steaming hot bowl of emotional chicken soup. Somehow it makes me feel better. And I hope it works just as well for him.

I will get to see Nate next week for Plebe Parent Weekend which will be so awesome but in the meantime, if you’re reading this, would you mind praying for my OS? Bless you!

All Academy Ball, Part One

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For many, many years I have lamented that I never went to any of my high school dances. No Homecoming, no Prom, nothing, nada, zippo. I did attend a boyfriend’s senior prom but he lived way far away in Chicago and I didn’t know anyone besides him so it doesn’t count as far as I’m concerned. 


To further add insult to injury, I worked in a flower shop which meant that I took orders for all the dances and then usually worked the day of the dance when EVERYONE would come pick up their flowers. I would go home alone and wonder about all the fun everybody was having. Oh, how I longed for a pretty dress, a handsome boyfriend and a beautiful bouquet of flowers on those nights!

I have reconciled those disappointments (although it might not appear to be the case) but on December 27th, it was like I got to have one of those magical evenings I had dreamt for so long ago. 

My husband and I attended our first All Academy Ball. Now that our son is a cadet at West Point, we have entered a new world full of exciting opportunities. After eating a scrumptious dinner, we burned the calories away with a night of dancing.  

It was a magical night that almost didn’t happen because I didn’t have anything to wear. I was going to make my dress but I am a VERY slow seamstress and my creative ideas don’t easily translate into reality.  With only 24 hours left I had two choices 1. Find a dress 2. Go to the All Academy Military Ball in just a shirt and a pair of underpants. The second option freaked Nate out. It was agreed that I had to have a complete outfit in order to go to the ball and the clock was ticking…

First thing in the morning my hubby and I hit the mall for the day after Christmas sales. To my delight, I found many dresses in my size and my husband was the perfect shopping buddy. He kept bringing me dresses and I tried one after the other. It was a blast trying on long, flowing gowns and sexy, sassy dresses, many I wouldn’t have picked for myself. 

After parading around the store in a variety of dresses, I found a long, black skirt. A few days prior I had purchased a sassy, black, frilly blouse and was overjoyed when the skirt and shirt matched even though they were bought at different stores. I hit the jackpot!
 
I found a cool pair of shoes on sale and then even had a sales clerk who helped me buy some matching, on sale jewelry. By the time we left the mall, I felt like I just might have fun on this special night. Mark and I had prayed on the way to the mall for the Lord to guide my steps as I went to the store on a day commonly known as being notoriously crazy. 
When I got home, I tried on my outfit. While prancing, I felt something on the bottom of my skirt. I turned around and you know those big plastic things they put on clothes to make sure you don’t steal them??? Well, they forgot to take it off! This meant a return trip to the mall later that day which resulted in me getting another $20 off. 

Next I’ll tell you about the All Academy Ball…I shall name that post Extreme Makeover, hmmm

Three Little Words That Meant So Much

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Who’s that hot babe with the scooter? It’s me! HA! Who’s that hot guy next to her? That’s my son! GA!

Now that I’ve got that out of the way…

There are several sentences I have come to treasure as a mom.

1. I love you.
2. You look pretty.
 
and then this one, my oldest OS said this morning.
 
3. I need you.
 
Moms out there, you know what I mean. Now when my son said this it didn’t sound quite so mushy and the sentence was longer but the three words that resonated for me on Sunday morning were I need you. 
My mama brain processed the other words but those three words transported right into my mama’s heart. 

The reason my son made this statement is that apparently one morning at West Point, an upperclassman took one look at his robe and noticed that it was “jacked’ up. It isn’t good to be “jacked” up in general but especially at the United States Military Academy. When my boy came home this weekend, he asked me if I could make the necessary repairs. “Mom, could you sew my robe? I need you to fix it for me, please.” 
 
After he requested my assistance, I asked him, “What did you say?” My son seemed confused by my question, so I tried again. “Nate, what were those three words you used just a minute ago?”
 
He just stood there oblivious to my persistent interrogation but not willing to give up, I prompted him some more. “Nate, you asked me to do something. Why did you ask me to do something??? Work with me, Son!” 
Finally he got it. “I need you.” 
 
It’s different when you’re a mom of little ones who constantly demand every bit of your attention. That season of life is gone for me. But when your 18 year old son says something even remotely like “I need you” a smart mama jumps at the chance.
At West Point, I can’t be with him to do his push-ups. I can’t help him with Knowledge. I can’t tell the people who yell at my son to please use kind words instead (HA!) The truth is there is very little I can do but love my son, support his choices and every now and then, with dwindling regularity, do something no one else can do. In this case, it was to fix his robe.

I took out my brand new Brother sewing machine (ain’t she a beauty?) and got busy. I fixed the collar and reinforced the stitching. 
I took the front pocket 2/3 of the way off to sew on a patch. I mended a teeny part of the sleeve and then turned my stitching dial to 64 and added a little mama touch.
I sewed a very tiny row of hearts on one of the cuffs. No one else will see them but I couldn’t resist. I don’t have too many opportunities to sew hearts on things as a mother of three sons. I had to “carpe diem” as my OS would say. 

There might come a time at West Point when he needs to remember that little tiny row of hearts or maybe I just did it for me. I don’t know and it really doesn’t matter. Nathan boards a plane early Monday morning and I will surely miss feeling needed by my precious Soldier and loving son. Hopefully he will have more mending on his next visit!
 
I need you too, Nathan.
Thanks for making me feel significant with three simple words. 

Brother Time

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Before Nathan went away to West Point, a family friend gave our son an incredible graduation gift. 


Ron, who is a husband and father of two, sent our son a framed copy of a quote by Abraham Lincoln, which by itself was a pretty awesome gift for a guy who loves history. But it was what Ron included in a card that deeply touched my heart. My husband’s high school buddy gave our son $100 cash.  

What 18 year old kid do you know who doesn’t like cold, hard cash? Sah-sweet!
However, this bounty, wasn’t for Nate to spend on himself, according to Ron’s note, the money had one intention. Our son was required to spend that money creating a special time with his brothers. Ron also specified that this was BROTHER TIME, not mom time or dad time. I jokingly offered to hang out with them and Nathan quickly rebuffed that idea. You should have seen the excitement Aaron and Isaac had imagining doing some cool stuff with their oldest bro.

My son received many wonderful and generous gifts from family and friends. I do not want to minimize the kindness and love people poured into them, they are worthy of many blog posts separately. It’s just that I had never heard of anyone, in particular, a guy, thinking about investing in brotherly memories. 

The guys went a movie, Indiana Jones (which wasn’t that great, btw) and out for lunch. Oh, how I would have loved being in a nearby table and watching my three ka–nuckle heads yukking it up. With the $100 my three sons went fishing and bowling. The guys went to Chick-Fil-A and grabbed some ice cream. As the day crept by when we were going to have to say goodbye to Nate, these moments became lasting treasures.

 

Forever, I shall remember Ron’s generosity and creativity. I was as blessed as my boys and I didn’t even have a handful of popcorn or a lick of that ice cream. I think it’s every mother’s dream to raise children who sincerely love each other and so far, that is proving true. 

I’ve included a video of their bowling “match” and a few pics of the guys who were together days before Nate reported to the United States Military Academy and when they hung out as brothers on A-Day. 


If you are ever in need of a special high school graduation gift, consider this one, folks!

I can’t wait!

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The first concert I ever went to was to see Elton John. I wore a multi-colored striped t-shirt that I had made just to look extra hot and brought my camera with fresh flash bulbs because I had to capture the moment. 

When Elton John came on-stage with his fancy glasses and strutted up to the piano, I seriously thought I was going to cry. I couldn’t believe I was at an Elton John concert and well on my way to being a full-fledged, independent woman at around 14 years old.

I also thought I was going to cry at an MC Hammer concert and not because of the guy’s funny pants. I happened to like MC Hammer at that time, thank you very much and I was a mother of two kids at the time and needed a night out with my husband. Let’s just blame that one on hormones. 

Moments, events, concerts, parades move me. I get carried away and overwhelmed. There is an energy and excitement; it’s like something big is going to take place and I’m getting to be a part of it even if it’s as a dorky teenager or a mom. I can’t help myself. 

Next week something very major is going to take place. 
I’m going to see my son. 
My Soldier. 
My boy. 

Sure, I’m going on a scooter with a broken foot and that wasn’t exactly what I anticipated but I’m going to see my son. 
My Soldier. 
My boy.


I haven’t seen my oldest OS since June 30th at West Point. Oh what an emotional day that was for me and thousands of other parents and well-wishers. I even have trouble recalling that day because of its intensity. 
Even though I was completely ambulatory at that time, I confess it was nearly impossible to walk away from the place. I left part of my heart at the United States Military Academy. 

Since June 30th, we’ve only talked with our son for a total of one hour in 6 1/2 weeks. We have received precious letters like manna from heaven but only 60 minutes total of slightly normal conversation. Not complaining but just saying, we have missed him dearly. Just the thought of seeing my child, hugging him, hearing his voice face to face beats any concert or performance I shall ever attend. Just the thought of connecting with Nathan again makes me want to weep with joy. I have ever experienced separation from any of my children for this long. 

But in a week I get to see my son. 
My Soldier. 
My boy…

Like a very wonderful and talented singer once sang (and I was there so I should know), “can’t touch this!” Hammer time next Saturday! 

MOMents of time

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Friday morning the phone rings. When I inquire who is calling, the official sounding man gives his name and then says he’s calling from Washington, DC. My heart drops as I hand the phone to my husband…


Even though my son is in New York, a sick feeling blackened my heart. The phone call was just a guy doing a survey and so my stomach returned to its original location and I started breathing again. This is not a fun feeling.

Today I’m checking my facebook. I check my facebook ALL the time and I check everybody’s status ALL the time. Do you have a facebook? How many friends do you have? Do you like pieces of flair? I LOVE pieces of flair! Sorry, I digress, well I’m checking everybody’s status and I notice that something is different on my son’s facebook. His status has changed since last night. I have no idea how or why or even who did it. To my knowledge he doesn’t have computer access. I have his password and I know I haven’t touched his facebook. I was instructed not to do a thing unless absolutely necessary. So who did? A million questions are buzzing through my head. (Note: as of 9:45 this evening, I have learned that if a facebook status is inactive, it automatically expires. This means Nate is probably just fine – glory!)

When I got his letter over the weekend, I peered at each word he wrote trying to detect even the slightest hidden message. I read the words he put on paper but were there things he wasn’t able to say. You know those things that only a mother can notice. Is he ok? Is he stressed? Is he rushed? Lonely? Sad? Happy? OY!!!

These are the moments, the MOMents when my faith is stretched. I call on my Savior to remind me that our All-Knowing, Omnipresent God is there for my son even when I am not. I have a friend whose husband graduated from USMA and was stationed in Saudi Arabia. I remember her telling me of being fearful of “the call” or “the visit.” Praise the Lord she never experienced these things but now I get it. Even a week into our 47 month experience at West Point, I can better empathize with many military things.  

My DH and I have raised a strong and resilient young man and we serve a mighty God.  
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6 

This is a special bag I bought at West Point. I love how this bag has all the names of new cadets printed on it, including my son! 

Head to toe prayers

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web-1The United States Military Academy requires its cadets to send a letter out to parents within the first few days of Beast (Cadet Basic Training).

Today we were overjoyed to get a coveted letter from our son.

We haven’t been able to talk to Nate since our farewells. Apparently next week we will get a 10 minute call from him. I will be sitting by the phone on the specified days and potential times until I get to hear his voice.

In the meantime, a one-page handwritten letter will suffice. In the letter, Nate indicated he had a tough day and received a lot of “personal attention.” One thing you don’t want at West Point is “personal attention.” The mom in me wants to make the 12 hour trek in my mini-van and just pick up my boy but that’s not what he wants or needs. He will prove it to himself that he can do all things through Christ who strengthens him.

a5ee1-p1040184What Nathan needs is prayer.

Specifically for his big toe.

He smashed it a few days ago and it has turned purple.  This might seem like a strange prayer request but for a new cadet going through Beast (Basic Cadet Training), it’s a huge deal.

I cut my big toe on my honeymoon in Portugal, and trust me, big toes are very useful.

For the remainder of my honeymoon in Portugal and Spain, I walked around with stitches on the bottom of my big toe. That’s when I learned the value of phalanges.

My son is learning the truth behind God’s Word found in Psalm 139:14 “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” He needs his big toes and probably will never take them for granted again.

If you read this post, please lift my boy, head to toe, inside and out, body and spirit up to the Lord along with all the other cadets.