Category Archives: memories

Dads

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My husband didn’t really know what he wanted to be when he grew up. As a young boy, aside from aspiring to be like Jacques Cousteau, he didn’t have a dream profession. 

One of my all-time fave pics of the Hubs

But the one thing the Hubs says he always wanted was to be a dad. 


On April 12, 1990, I assisted him in achieving this dream, thank you very much, when Nate was born. Our baby had a cone-head but to us, he was gorgeous. Four years later, the Hubs’ prayers were answered again this time with Aaron. Our middle OS was a juicy butterball, we were smitten. Lastly, in 1996, the Hubs became the father of a ginger. Ike is our orange hair, freckle face child who routinely makes life interesting. The Hubs is the youngest of three sons. He knows what it’s like to live with brothers and now he can speak with authority about raising sons. That’s pretty cool if you ask me. 

Look at that snappy dresser rockin’ the red tie!



I surveyed the long list of prospective suitors and husbands fancying me nearly 25 years ago. 🙂 Trust me when I say that the field of eligible men was miles long.  Seriously! ;% I considered each man’s potential spousal and parental qualifications and compiled graphs and charts or at least that’s how I’m choosing to remember things! Finally out of a field of many (ahem), I picked the Hubs. God has reminded me that I chose well. 

There ain’t nothing wimpy about needing your dad

Observation of the Hubs‘ impressive skills as a father have come to light during our recent health concerns with Aaron. Per Aaron’s request, the Hubs was often upstairs by his side. Our 16 year old OS wanted his daddy to rub his head. When teenage guy is reduced to saying, “Daddy,” you know he’s in pain.  


I can attest to Mark’s talents. When the Hubs and I were first married, he would rub my head and gently tug on my hair when my head felt like it was going to burst due to migraines. 


Our bedroom was clothed in darkness, the Hubs sat next to his sweet boy and rubbed his head with just the right amount of pressure. Then on Saturday night, we sat by Aaron’s bedside at the hospital. Aaron could barely utter a word. The pain was so great. With it being the third hospital visit in days, the Hubs and I were worried and exhausted. As desperate and tired parents, we felt helpless but I heard Mark when he said aloud by the bed rail, “give this to me.” 

Three year old Nate with a fractured skull, don’t recommend it

Without a second thought, the Hubs would have traded brains with our son. If he could have assumed Aaron’s excruciating pain, he would have done it. I felt that way when Nate was three years old and he fell out of our second-story bedroom window. Our oldest OS suffered a fractured skull and as we waited for the test results in the waiting room, I told the doctor that if Nate needed any body part, any part at all, the doctor could take it from me and I would die, no questions asked. I gave him permission without hesitation. My hope is that everyone who reads this post has no idea what I’m writing about but if you’re a parent, you probably get it. 


Through all of this I too, have cried out for my Father. My Heavenly Father listened to my pleas and sustained me. I have sensed His presence and leaned on Him for strength. 


The Hubs wasn’t saying “give this to me” to anyone but the Lord. Such is the father’s love for his son. As I hear the sweet sounds of my middle OS strumming on his guitar, this Wednesday night is especially lovely. 

The soul of MY soup

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“To possess a cook who makes perfect soups is to possess a jewel of great price. 
A woman who cannot make soup 
should not be allowed to marry.”

P. Mortan Shand, A Book of Food, 1928
Um, that seems a little harsh but when the going gets tough, I do what most women do…
I make vegetable broth. 

This is some serious broth action


As a foodie and mama of three OS, it’s my attempt, I guess, to put things together and make something good. Into the kettle, I put celery, scallions, garlic, half a red onion, a tomato and two cooked potatoes that were lounging in the refrigerator doing nothing. I then threw in some radish leaves, carrots, a stalk of frozen corn I bought in the summer at the farmers’ market. Half a red pepper, a handful of frozen leeks, kosher salt, bay leaf and spices bubble and mix with the other ingredients. The amber broth is flavorful. I have a sick child upstairs, I feel so confused. But this homemade broth imbues a sense of peace and accomplishment within me.

Dramatic, slightly forced vegetable broth smile



In some ways, I think this is like the Scripture found in

Romans 8:28 (English Standard Version)


And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Aaron is eating next to nothing. He needs nutrition and hydration. I picture my OS sipping on this broth. Not sure that’s going to happen but wow, if it did, that would be the best. I’d feel like I did something significant. 
better than the boxed stuff, fo’ shur!
God is going to use this trial in our lives. He is more resourceful than I’ll ever be. My simple efforts at gathering things together to make a hearty broth pale to what Jesus does with our lives. He uses ALL things together for good for those who believe in Him. I believe, Lord. Aaron believes too. Let it be. 

Still sick

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Aaron, my sweet boy

Look familiar? Same child, same symptoms, different medical facility…


Aaron awoke this morning with the same pounding headache accompanied by a new symptom, vomiting. For your information, retching, dry-heaving teenage boys with persistent headache are a rather pathetic sight. Last night he played his guitar a few times. It was good to hear his familiar singing and strumming. I got so hopeful, I allowed myself to think that life might be getting back to normal. I thought too soon. 


But as has been the case for several days now, the Hubs and I were awakened in the early hours to our middle OS begging for help. 


We are at the doctor’s office trying some anti-nausea meds along with migraine medication to stave off this pain. The only upside to any of this is that Aaron needs me. He puts his head on my lap and lets me rub his back. I bet if I asked him right now if he was going to go far away for college, he might actually say no. Why? Because he needs me (at least for the moment.) And since I want to live in this fantasy land, I’m not going to ask him that question. I’ll just intuit that is currently his dutiful answer.


I know there are (click the underlined links) many families enduring serious medical crises. For them, the possibility of relief is distant. You know many of those people too and might even be one of them. During my years as a mother, as a general practice, I have prayed for children that possess my OS’s names. At the end of the night, as I am tucking in my guys, occasionally we have prayed for a child whom we don’t know who might be suffering. Usually the Hubs prays for them and tucks them in. But when it’s my turn, for example, we might pray for an Aaron who is in the hospital, or an Isaac who is going to bed hungry or a Nate who has nowhere to live. 

yup

I guess I’m hoping that at this very moment, some mom is doing the same thing. For an Aaron she will never meet. And that prayer is lovingly received, dear mama out there. Right now, I am thankful for those of you who are praying for my Aaron. The child I adore who is sick and in pain. 

HOPE for my sick boy :(

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Official picture of misery

There is this hopeless, free-falling feeling when you have a sick child. Usually you fear the worst. One extreme to the other. This is no big deal. This is a HUGE deal. You don’t know if you’re over-reacting by running to the doctor or you’re negligent because you’ve decided to take your time. You watch and assess. You google and search. You feel so little and you need to be big. 


I’m at the emergency room with my middle OS. A pounding, almost unrelenting headache has required two visits to the urgent care and two visits to the hospital all in the span of 24 hours or less. As someone prone to anxiety issues, it’s hard to keep perspective and trust in the Lord in these moments. 

I love this kid

We’ve gone from the small measures to relieve Aaron’s pain to moving up the intervention. Soon he’ll be rolled down the hallway to get a CT scan. They’re running more blood tests. Please Lord, not a spinal tap! 


It’s like an elevator that has no bottom. You just want to do something. Is it a coincidence that just Monday we discussed hope in Teen CBS?  I was sitting around a table of teenage girls admonishing them to hope. I waxed eloquently as some of them are going through difficulties. Not because I said so but because God did. You should have seen me.  Oh the words of wisdom I bestowed upon these young ladies. And I believed every word. Still do. Even though I’m here in the Emergency Room with my precious Aaron. 

Romans 8:24-26 

24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

(patiently waiting in a room in the emergency department. patiently waiting as they roll my middle OS down the hall for tests. patiently waiting for results and relief. patiently waiting for a warm bed and restored health.)


 26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.

Empty rooms stink

(tired, hungry, scared, Lord, I’m groaning. people are praying. You are here with me though I’m physically alone in this room at this very moment. And my boy, God, you are with him too in the places where I cannot go.)

HOPE

Snuggies and snow

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Thank you Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you that I no longer have to live with this!

Everyone is talking about the Blizzard of 2011. Pictures abound of the frozen tundra in the nation’s heartland. I see my family and friends’ facebook statuses and offer a sympathetic shiver your way. It’s rather fun living vicariously with my windows open and a pleasant breeze wafting through my home. Just sayin.’ So in honor of the blizzard, may this post warm your heart wherever you are. 


Here are a few pics taken during Christmas. My sister Lorri visited from Chicago and when several inches of snow landed in our area, she and I set out to be silly. 

I just realized this is a heart-shaped snowball! Awww
Ok, so I might have forgotten how to make a proper snowball, big wup. 

Snow much fun

My dad isn’t in this picture but I bet he was in a line like this! 

Because of this much heralded storm, I also discovered something. I celebrated my fifth birthday during the Storm of ’67! I can still picture my father trudging out in the freezing snow on my birthday. He trekked through that blizzard to  the grocery store to buy me a birthday cake. It was strawberry and I couldn’t recall how old I was until everyone started talking about this wintry blast. How cool is that? Positively serendipitous. 


When Lorri and I were finished with our snowpeople, we went on a lark. Playing in the snow wasn’t simply fun enough. One night prior to her departure, my younger sister and I decided to strut our stuff on the “catwalk.” Btw, I made the items Lorri and I are wearing. We did not pick them up in New York City or Paris. In fact, if you’d like to duplicate my efforts, here’s the link! 



Here’s Nate posing at home with his new snuggie. 
Dramatic re-enactment of a sleeping cadet

Did you know that snuggies are the rage at West Point too! Nate and I have matching snuggies. That is a sign that we have a very wonderful relationship. We like to wear matching stuff. Kinda creepy but not really. 


Gotta a snuggie story? 









Cooking in a Restaurant

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a pupuseria in El Salvador, doesn’t that look pretty? 

It was Saturday afternoon and Nate and I were on a mission. Much like the special training missions he goes on at West Point, my OS and I were focused and ready, steely-eyed and single-minded. Our task was significant. Nothing was going to stop us.

Our task – to procure ingredients and learn how to make a traditional Central American dish worthy of the fine country from which it hails. (Proclaimed in a loud, official voice with great gesticulation) A country whose name is on our lips more than I ever expected. A country I visited on a true mission trip from the Lord and while there serendipitously met a beautiful girl with whom my OS is now in love. The girl is Lu. The country is El Salvador, the dish, mi amigos…(cue dramatic music)

a pupusa
a real pupuseria in El Salvador
the adorable couple in El Salvador during Christmas

Nate had announced his desire to make pupusas for the family prior to arriving home for a brief visit. With two trips to San Salvador under his belt, he has embraced both his girlfriend and these thick, hand-made tortillas with gusto. A few months ago, Aaron and I happened upon a local Mexican restaurant that makes pupusas. A coincidence? I think not. Aaron was getting his driver’s permit and this restaurant is literally next door to the DMV! How convenient that it is only ten minutes from our house!

So my Soldier/OS and I drove to Tarascos Restaurant and went inside. 

Good salsa, great pupusas, lovely people!



Without hesitation, we each ordered a pupusa. A casual conversation began between us and the employees. Nate practiced his Spanish per my prodding. I think it’s so important to speak another language! As a French major, I actually understood some of the conversation. These people were warm and friendly especially when Nate explained that his girlfriend was Salvadoran. It appeared that they weren’t used to Americanos coming in and ordering pupusas.


Nate making his first pupusa

We inquired about how to make the perfect pupusa and before we knew it, the cook had invited us back to the kitchen. We had personalized instruction from Lillia who showed us how to make pupusas! Honored that she was taking the time to demonstrate the technique, Lillia invited Nate to try to make a pupusa himself. Pupusas aren’t hard to make at all but seeing her skilled hand prepare them was invaluable.
I predict that one day this guy’s gonna open up his own
pupuseria in the States! 





My little cutie-patooty and his pupusas!

So how did OUR pupusas taste? Aaron and Ike were rather unimpressed. Nate felt as if he was tasting play-dough. I didn’t think they were that bad. They were definitely better than the pupusas the Hubs tried to make a few weeks ago. Can you say “blech!” 

We did everything according to her instructions. I was a keen observer and despite the lack of flavor when we tried to make pupusas at home, we need to not give up. There wasn’t a secret ingredient mixed into the corn flour but maybe it was the seasoned griddle Lillia used, I’m still trying to figure it out.  I’m not giving up on mastering this dish though, I assure you! I just finished the book The Art of Eating In and feel more compelled than ever to master tasty, interesting, economical meals for my family. 

We are praying that one day, Lord willing, Lu and her family will come here for a very special cooking demonstration.  

Even though our pupusas weren’t as good as the ones in El Salvador and at Tarasco’s, we remain blessed and optimistic about the future of cooking and of love. When the world feels so close and people get along, it is cause to rejoice!

Ring, ring!

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If the cliche wasn’t so true, I wouldn’t use it but where has the time gone? Nate is now ring shopping!

Two cuties in El Salvador

If your heart skipped a beat, and you’re like “Wha?????” settle down there! If you imagined our OS searching for a shiny bauble for a Salvadorena beauty, I’m sorry to disappoint you. We’re not there yet.

Nate is ring shopping for himself and deciding about the type of ring he wants as a 2012 graduate of the United States Military Academy.

* June 2008 R-Day, my boy walked by us in the parade and oh how I wanted to run and grab him take him away from all these people yelling! Nate had made his mind up, he was going to West Point and I couldn’t stand in the way.

During an impromptu visit home (which aside from Ike’s flu, made it the best MLK weekend I’ve ever had!) Nate showed us the brochure featuring his ring options.

What a huge ac- complishment for our OS to be on the other side of the 48 month experience known as West Point. I sat beside him on Sunday pondering that the eager, determined teenager who entered West Point on that most notable day is now a competent, strong leader and man.

I like this figurative place as a WP mom.

You see, I’m strategically positioned to be content about all that he has done while not giving too much worry to what he’s going to do AFTER graduation. I can celebrate the cool stuff like my OS getting a ring and block out the “other things” like when and where he will be deployed. Not. going. there.

Let’s just concentrate on jewelry, shall we?

What makes a West Point ring especially significant is the symbolism literally melted in the ring.

Following the death of a West Point grad, some families, upon the bequest of the departed grad or simply to pass on tradition, donate the ring back to West Point. It’s called the Ring Memorial Program.

The ring is then melted and the shavings are used to help create a new ring.

When West Point grads receives their ring, they have a part of the men and women of the Long Gray Line with them.

* This is the march back from Buckner where Beast was held – a momentous event!

The design of the 2012 crest features two swords symbolizing the graduates going from a cadet to an officer. I will stuff my purse with Kleenex as I see this ring on my boy’s finger. Partially because it will be no small feat to get a ring over his  gi-normous knuckle and also because I will be bursting with pride.

Next year, the Hubs and I will attend the Ring Weekend. Nate will be on the receiving end of Ring Poop which thankfully has nothing to do with #2!

I will buy an expensive new dress and possibly several new outfits for the event.

The Hubs and I are attending Financial Peace University so I guess I’ll need to start saving up right now because this girl is gonna bring it! 😉 I won’t be wearing anything like this.

WOW!

Personally I like matching shoes.

But perhaps something like this?

Hmmm…This might be a little over the top but then again, maybe not!

As the mama of three sons, it’s rare for me to talk bling in this household so I’m going to cherish this moment and not hurry to the next!

Charming, very charming

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What a sweet love story!

It was BIG news in our family when Nate fell in love.

The phone lines were abuzz as I talked to my mom at least every day giving her the latest update.

We brainstormed, conferred, analyzed, considered, prayed, worried, imagined and everything else a mom and grandma could do when the oldest OS/grandson is smitten.

Here’s how those conversations often went:

Me: “Mom, Nate REALLY likes Lu.”
My mom: “Wow!”
Me: “Mom, he’s using the ‘L’ word with her!”
My mom: “Wow!”
Me: “What should I do, Mom? I mean, he’s using the ‘L’ word!”
My mom: “Exactly what ‘L’ word is he using?”
Me: “Come on, Mom, really? LOVE!!!”

You get the idea. It was fun musing what was going to happen next and soon my sister Denise joined in on the fun.

She has a close relationship with Nate and when he was home for a visit, he stopped by her house for dinner.

Rachel squeals, “Love is in the air!”

After playing with his cousins around and holding the baby Rachel, Denise had a heart to heart conversation with Nate.

I appreciate my sister speaking truthfully to my OS about sensitive issues and reinforcing the solid Biblical principles we endorse in our family. I can always count on her.

As a bonus this time, Denise’s romantic side offered Nate even more.  She suggested Nate give Lu some jewelry. Is there any girl in the world who doesn’t like jewelry?

Denise didn’t suggest this

A stunning gold retainer necklace!

or anything gross like this.

But if Lu wanted a mouthguard necklace, Ike has a few he could donate!

Nor did Denise recommend a trinket like this.

It’s just wayyyyy too personal, wouldn’t you agree?
A chewed piece of gum necklace = ew.

Denise suggested something pretty and romantic, a gift similar to the one she received from her husband many years ago.

This….


a sliver charm bracelet.

The first one I received when I was 16 years old.

I can look at each charm and tell a story about every one. For example, as a teenager I received a typewriter charm for my love of writing.

I have charms from at least five different countries. While on our 20th anniversary celebration to Maine, the Hubs got me a lobster net charm.

West Point charm

And my OS gave me a West Point charm which I cherish. I don’t wear the bracelets very often but I love to look at them and remember.

Once Nate decided to buy Lu a bracelet, I had the privilege of going with him to shop for the bracelet. He wanted my opinion and I must say I jumped at the chance. We went to a small, locally owned jewelry shop and he found a very sweet bracelet that we agreed would look so pretty on her.

Then, while on a trip to visit family in Greenville, SC, Nate found a mustard seed charm.

Nate and Lu trust in the Lord and believe that if this is going to work, they need to have the faith of a mustard seed and rely completely on His will in their relationship.

The final charm my OS wanted for Lu was a plane which I thought was very romantic.
In an effort to help, Aaron, Ike and I went shopping with him. We went to at least ten different stores to find the right plane charm.

Btw, it is not easy to find an airplane charm. We found cheap airplane charms for a little girl’s bracelet and other travel-related charms but Nate wanted nothing to do with them. He wasn’t going to settle. Finally after dashing around the mall, just as the store was closing, he found it. As patient as Nate was in waiting for the right girl, he was equally resolute in finding the perfect charm, not settling for anything but the best. 

The little charm bracelet traveled to El Salvador tucked safely in his backpack. Lu’s father had given their relationship his approval and it was their second night out as an official bf/gf type thing.

They were sitting outside of a restaurant, a tropical breeze swayed through the air. Nate presented her with a mushy card, the contents written therein have yet to be shared with me (which I totally DON’T understand!) 😉 but I do know how beautiful Nate’s sentiments can be and I’m only his mom. It must have been super mushy. He then handed her the rectangular box and she opened it.

According to my OS, Lu had a “positive reaction” and that’s all I have been told.  I have asked, oh, trust me, if you know me, I have asked. I have a nasty family reputation of asking too many questions. Hey, I have a major in journalism, it’s my nature. Currently “lips are sealed.” Waa. Perhaps a sushi lunch with my OS will pry it out of him. Perhaps not.

The one thing I know is that a lovely young lady in Central America now has a delicate, silver bauble to remind her that she is loved by a really awesome oliveshoot who is thinking of her constantly.

More soon!

Love is patient…

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However, before I tell you what happened next, let me share with you how I learned about what was going on between the two of them. 


I remember talking to my OS on the phone in March. Nate told me that he chatted frequently with Lu. Judging by the tone in his voice, I sensed there was more to it than that. Here’s how the conversation went when I decided to ask some questions…
Nate: “I’ve been talking to Lu quite a bit lately…”
Me: “Oh really? That’s cool.”
Nate: “Yeah, Ma, I like her.”
Me: “What do you like about her? There’s a lot to like.”
Nate: “I don’t know…everything. Just everything, Ma.”
Me: “Like what?”
Nate: “For one she’s drop-dead gorgeous; she’s nice and funny and she’s the most godly woman I’ve ever met…”
Me: “Wow! Well, how much do you like her?”
Nate: “A lot.”
Me: (trying to sound very smooth and relaxed)”So what do you mean by ‘a lot’?” 
Nate: “A lot, Mom“
Me: “Um, so Nate, do you ‘L’ her?” (I really did say “L” instead of the actual word…)
Nate: (without a nanosecond of hesitation) “Yes.“
Allrighty then! I pulled up my big girl panties (figuratively speaking!) and realized that Nate was serious. I needed to pay attention. I needed to pray and I needed to give thanks. This was a good thing. 
And before I knew it he was in El Salvador…
And this is where we pick up the story.

For several days Nate visited with Lu and her family. He stayed in a hotel in San Salvador (by himself thank you very much) and when he wasn’t with Lu, my OS visited exciting places like the Mr. Donut. 



He loved the volcanoes throughout the landscape, the verdant hills but the most exquisite scenery was of course, you guessed it…Lu. Having spent time with Lu in prison (yes, we have spent time in prison together, click here for details!) I know how she can light up even the darkest place! 


He arrived on a Monday and each night when Nate was in his hotel room, he and I would Skype or facebook. And I’d ask Nate in my usual extremely nonchalant fashion the same question in regards to him speaking to Lu’s father. “Did you talk to him? Did ya, did ya, huh, huh, huh?” I could barely stand it when he would say, “not yet.” Didn’t he know or care that his mama was waiting with baited breath to hear the outcome! Zheesh!

At long last the night arrived. After enjoying a dinner with Lu and her family, petting the dog and acting charming, “the” moment was at hand. Lu excused herself and went upstairs while Nate sat in front of her mom, dad, one of her brothers and her sister-in-law. In his very limited Spanish, my boy began to speak.  If your heart is NOT beating fast right now, you better check your pulse!
Lu’s sister-in-law served as translator and Nate said something like this.  Remember, this post has been cleared by my son. 


“Senor y Senora ______, we all know why I’m here. I never thought I’d go to another country to see a girl. But when I met Lu, I couldn’t do anything else. This isn’t something I’ve ever done before but I had to come here because I am crazy about your daughter. I think she’s the best thing ever. Family is very important and I wanted to come here to talk to you in person. So really why I’m here is I want permission to date your daughter. I promise to respect her, take good care of her and keep Christ at the center of our relationship. I would like to ask you if I could have the privilege and the honor of dating your daughter.”
I must pause here and say this. You have no idea how many guys I would have avoided if I had had a father like Lu’s. A father who cared enough about his daughter and who was strong in character and faith to protect and love and to expect nothing but the best for his girl. Oh my soul, what trouble and pain I could have avoided.
Ok, but back to the story…
Apparently by this time, Lu’s sister-in-law, pregnant with her first child, was in tears and translating. She took a deep breath and told my son, “You’re a good man.” I think that is one of the kindest things anyone could say to a guy, especially my OS. Then Lu’s dad said a few things all culminating in him saying “yes.” 🙂 🙂 🙂
And then according to my very reliable sources, Lu’s dad asked my son to pray. And Nate began to pray. I give no credit to myself or to the Hubs but all the glory and honor goes to the Lord for He alone guided my OS’s words and actions.
You see, for so many years prior to becoming a Christian, I  longed to raise three honorable men but wasn’t sure how that was done. I wanted desperately for my precious sons to be guys who respected women. Good men are not extinct but sadly they are in short supply. We need a lot more, don’t you think? I wanted to do my part to change that. 

Our family is woefully imperfect and just so you don’t think I’m uppity, I don’t get any credit for the blessings we’ve received, completely undeserving is how I realistically view myself. And for the moments I do feel uppity, well, the Lord gave me a 16 year old OS to fix that! 

But I must admit, I am a proud mama. As a mama, as a woman, I believe with all my heart in raising the bar for young people. What girl doesn’t dream of someone esteeming her in this way? Seriously. 
I can’t wait to share with you the next part…jewelry and no, it’s not an engagement ring but still delightfully lovely!