Category Archives: love

Spirit Week fun

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One of my children (who shall remain nameless because I like my life,) is afraid of midgets.

If you want to creep him out, turn on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I’m not exaggerating. We are a short-statured people so I’m not sure what his problem is but I have been known to sing the Oompa Loompa Song or the Wizard of Oz Munchkin Land song around him. It is funny to see this otherwise very macho OS squirm.


So it’s a good thing this un-named OS isn’t home very much (ahem,) because today would have been very unpleasant for him.

I say this because it’s Spirit Week for the middle schoolers and today is Character Day. My anonymous OS would be in a dither because his orange hair, freckle-face brother along with six other buddies dressed up as the Seven Dwarfs!

When Isaac told me about the idea last week, I agreed as long as Ike wasn’t Dopey. Considering our most recent challenges, there was NO way my OS was going to be Dopey. Or Grumpy!


But Ike is Happy and so am I! Several moms including myself banded together and individually added pieces to the boys’ costumes.

One mom and grandma made hats. They even researched pics of the Seven Dwarfs from old Disney books and pictures! Another mom made white beards and wrote the names of each individual dwarf on a colorful t-shirt. Talk about authentic! I purchased seven pair of black sweat pants on sale at Wal-Mart and some twine for a belt. The moms are as excited as the sons and our collective talents made this particular Spirit Day less stressful and totally adorable!


To Ike’s chagrin I came to school twice today to take pictures. Apparently there is nothing worse for a 13 year old boy then seeing his mama two times in one school day, even when she’s wearing makeup! Excitement filled the air, giggles and smiles abounded. I cracked up at the creativity in the middle schoolers. There were two guys who dressed up as Michael Jackson, before and after. There was even a Lucky Charm leprechaun. So fun!


My OS attend a private school. They wear uniforms, adhere to strict behavior policies and must study hard for the stringent academics. Spirit Week is five days when the standards are just as high but the atmosphere is more relaxed. High school Spirit Week begins next Monday and it’s sure to be memorable as well. If Aaron succeeds in his plans for Spirit Week, it will be epic, mark my words!


I leave you with some pics of the recent fun and links to former Spirit Weeks we have enjoyed.

We’re already brain-storming about next year!

Hoarders, part two

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And now for a deeper hoarding issue…


The washrag is gone. I am ok with it. At times I feel silly like, seriously, Cindy, get a grip. It was a stupid washrag. A Barney washrag at that. I probably spent less than $2 on the thing. And if I’m being real here and it’s my blog so I can do with it what I want, I am pushing away feelings of sadness that the threadbare Barney washrag is loosed from my home. It has absolutely no emotions, no nerve endings, it was a totally inanimate object but if I allow myself, I can feel sad for the washrag. Like it’s missing me. Just being real here.

Which then evokes feelings about other things I miss or anticipate missing. Loved ones who are gone, children who are growing, family members who are aging or ill, friends that disappointed me, hopes, dreams, the list goes on and on.

Which then brings forth feelings that I sometimes hoard.

Resentment, fear, bitterness and anger come to mind. Because of Christ, I have had great victory in this area. Nothing of my own doing, that’s for sure. Before coming to know the Lord, my list of hurts was very long. I embedded a lot of pain and used it as a weapon when necessary. But God in His faithfulness, not only removed all the items on that list, He also took care of the even longer list I had created for myself. Sins that are none of your business, others that I have shared here on this blog and publicly.

So I’m learning to let go and clean up. And like the clients featured on Hoarders, to maintain order, one must be vigilant. It doesn’t take too much time for physical and emotional issues to pile up. I must make room in my home and in my heart for new things. Getting rid of the Barney washrag was something the Lord prompted me to do. I hung onto it for days and had it near the trashcan and it took days for it to go. Something that weighed mere ounces suddenly was too heavy to move. Until last night, that is.


Enter dreamlike sequence…

Years ago, I found a diary from middle school. Not much was in it but the usual 12-13 year old girl drama. However, amidst the boy crazy musings, I flipped through the pages and discovered an entry about a family member I chose not to name. In this entry, I wrote about an especially mean thing this person had said to me. Now 3o years later, I held the pages in my hand and it was excruciating.

In my middle school girl’s handwriting; my adult woman’s eyes fixated on those nasty words. What was I to do? I brought the diary to my husband and showed him the entry and started crying. I am a frequent crier. Don’t believe me? Click here and here and here and here and here.

I didn’t need that memory or that reminder but how could I throw out MY diary??? How could I let that go?

It was then that the Hubs offered to do some-thing I could not do for myself. In a beautiful act of love, he offered to throw it away. I nodded and I never saw that diary or those words ever again.

The diary, the Barney washrag, old wounds and hurts need to be discarded. It is time for a new season. Those items were weathered and useless. I can no longer cling to them.

Tears are welling up in my eyes as I type but I need to share this. Maybe it’s just for me and this is a completely selfish post but if it’s for you, let me give you permission, let it go. Whatever the “it” is. Let. it. go.

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,and a season for every activity under heaven:


2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away…


Hoarders

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Have you seen the A&E program Hoarders? I watch the show every week on Channel 161 on Monday nights from 10-11pm. If I don’t watch the new episode, I DVR it. Yes, I am a faithful follower.


One of the reasons I like the show is I have a celebrity connection. I have worked closely with a frequent expert on the program.

A few years ago, hoarding and organizational expert, Geralin Thomas helped me transform my home office. I was NOT her first client nor am I a hoarder but wow, she was amazing! My home office had previously been a place of embarrassment and dread but with her assistance , my office became a thing of personality and beauty! As I watch Geralin work with her hoarding clients, I often hear her saying things to the hoarders that she said to me. I’m sure that is mere coincidence, right?

Another reason I like the show is that it’s fas- cinating. There are these distraught people living in absolute squalor and they toil and lament throwing out the smallest thing. A piece of paper, a withered basket, a mildewed book, everything appears to be impossible to dispose of properly. There is filth and dust everywhere and they agonize over minutiae! It feels like a personal victory to me when the people seem to make progress but I admit the show can produce anxiety in me as I see their mess flash over the tv screen.

And as I sit in my family room on Monday nights, just as I’m ready to kick my judgemental side into full gear, I am chastened. The reason is that on each Monday night, during a commercial or when the program ends, I begin looking around my own house and discover things that need to go. In my purse, my closet, my dressers, there is stuff that has long overstayed its welcome and usefulness. It is freeing to release things that are no longer needed but honestly it can be sad.

I originally had this post almost ready to go several days ago. I didn’t publish it because I hadn’t accomplished the thing I was going to write about. But I’m mustering the courage to do it today. I am going to do it no matter what!

I am saying goodbye to an 18 year old washrag.
I cannot tell you the age of any other washrag in my house but this one is special to me. I might even say I love this washrag. The threadbare cloth belonged to my oldest OS when he was a little boy. Nate will be 20 in a few months and it is/was a Barney washrag. Most of the purple dinosaur has been scrubbed away but it’s been the first washrag I reach for in my linen closet for lo these many years.

My OS has long since parted ways with Barney. He’s a yearling at West Point and has no affinity whatsoever to this thing.

But I’m a sen-timental mama. This silly washrag represents an adorable, toe-head boy who is my pride and joy and is now a remarkable young man full of ambition and integrity.

When Geralin helped me in my home office, I would find myself struggling with getting rid of things. She gave me permission to dispose of things and assured me that if I threw something out, it didn’t diminish the love I have for that person! What a revelation!




So with that in mind, thank you Barney washrag for the memories! Thank you for doing such a great job all these years! You’ve cleaned a lot of body parts! 😉 You certainly outdid yourself but I’m making room for new memories and really hoping Nate will find the West Point gift shop has a West Point washrag or a Digital ACU towel for Mother’s Day!

Do you have a mouth guard?

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Since I was a little girl, I have loved puzzles. One of my favorite moments was when my dad would bring me home a puzzle.


In my daily life, I look for pieces of life. You know, things that inextricably fit together. On a good day, I’ll put those pieces together and have an “aha” or a praiseworthy moment. Other times I’ll be chastened because it’s obvious God is trying to teach me something.

Oh boy, if you have been following my blog lately, it should be apparent that we have had a lot of “puzzling” moments! OY!

And so I thought I’d share with you some awesome pieces I put together today.

Months ago, I attended a Winter Sports Meeting at my OS’s school. Not particularly thrilling or dynamic but I paid attention when the principle cautioned parents of basketball players to purchase a mouth guard for their athletes.

After a few games, I had legitimate fears of Ike’s teeth flying all over the court and immediately purchased the mouth guard. Ike was threatened within an inch of his life if he didn’t wear it while playing. Yet there was one game where he forgot the mouth guard completely and many others where that mouth guard has been perched partially out of his mouth providing absolutely no protection for his pearly whites. My eyes would bulge out of my head and he would experience my wrath from the bleachers if I didn’t see the mouth guard exactly where it needed to be. We affectionately call them motherly death rays…

Then we had our “humbling moments” and our Apology Tour. On Friday night, after Isaac was fast asleep, I decided to future torture myself by folding a load of laundry. I opened the dryer door and what did I see staring right at me? Yes, Isaac’s mouth guard. (This photo is a dramatic re-enactment.)


At first I felt like Satan was poking me in the eye. Like the Devil was saying “Haha, Looo–ser! Some mom you are! I guess you won’t be needing that mouth guard anymore now will you? Hmmmm?” I could see the Father of Lies snickering and doing some serious knee-slapping revelling in the misery of our sadness and disappointment. Jerk.

Along with the clean clothes, I held the mouth guard and truly felt a profound sadness clutching it in my mama’s hands. It represented embarrassment, shame, hopes dashed, hurt and fear. I wanted to throw it out.


But as the weekend pro- gressed, we could see some rays of hope. Ike was repentant and willing to make amends. Parents were willing to forgive and offer mercy. Three generations – grandmother, daughter, brothers, sons, father all held hands Saturday morning and prayed out loud, one after another for all aspects of this situation. And the mouth guard stayed away from the trash.

There are other puzzle pieces I might share in future posts regarding these recent incidents but I truly believe that the Lord placed that mouth guard in the dryer as a reminder to me.

Psalm 141:3 Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 5:4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.

In every day, Ike (and me and maybe even you, no offense) need to wear a mouth guard. Maybe not an ugly plastic one but one that protects us and others from unkind words, filthy talk and gossip. My orange hair, freckle-face teenage OS confessed to me that nasty words fly out easier on the basketball court. No duh! Now we have yet another reason his mouth guard must remain in the position where it was designed. From the bleachers, I am on the look-out making sure my OS’s mouth guard is where it’s supposed to be.

Puzzle pieces everywhere. When this whole thing started, I thought the nice mom calling me was placing an order for an apron – WRONG! But I am ever thankful for what she ultimately gave me – refining moments which are teaching us as we relentlessly, endlessly love each other and our Lord.

On the road to redemption

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One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Lamentations 3:22-23

Because of the LORD’s
great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

I have these verses displayed in my office. As a Christmas gift, how apropos that Ike gave me an adorable small framed print of these words created by a gifted friend and artist. Click here for more details.


These words have been put in action the last four days. As parents we have experienced a humbling and tiring weekend. Phone calls, conversations and consequences have substituted the normally scheduled events. I am not complaining, it has been absolutely necessary and cleansing. It is not a weekend I care to repeat but if necessary, we will repeat but I’d rather not. Join with me now in a group prayer…Please, oh Lord, let us not repeat last weekend!


As my orange hair, freckle-face OS continued the Apology Tour on Sunday, the Hubs and Ike headed to yet another girl’s house to ask for forgiveness. I can only imagine my OS’s heart was pounding as he neared each girl’s house, walked up to the front door and shook the hands of her mom and dad preparing to apologize to the young lady he had offended.

And it was while going “there” that the Lord also placed a beautiful symbol of hope in the midst. As the Hubs drove, Ike sat with a plate of homemade, fresh from the oven, from scratch chocolate chip cookies on his lap, my youngest OS looked up to the sky and saw something unexpected. He saw a rainbow.

I didn’t see it and I love rainbows. It wasn’t meant for me. Aaron didn’t see it and he thinks rainbows are pretty cool. Apparently Aaron didn’t need a rainbow at the moment either. I believe that my OS, the one who most needed to feel hope and promise, was given this beautiful sign from the Lord.


I doubt there was an orange hair, freckle face teenage boy in the entire world on Sunday who needed a rainbow more than Ike. Some people might view this as a mere coincidence but not me. Think whatever you like but we don’t get a lot of January rainbows around these here parts. According to our Christian faith, rainbows are symbols of God’s faithfulness. God placed a rainbow in the sky as a sign of his covenant with Noah to never again destroy the earth and all living creatures by flood.

In Revelation, the last book of the Bible, John saw a rainbow around the throne in heaven.

And on a Sunday when I believe my OS needed a reminder that the Lord was with him, my OS looked up to the sky and He spoke to my baby. His child. His rainbow. Our hope.

Amen


"Do you love me?"

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If you are a parent, you will understand.


This week, my orange-hair, freckle face OS asked me a question.

“Mom, do you love me?” he inquired, partially in jest while in the kitchen. I was on one side of the island and he on the other, just so you know the logistics…

I paused, slightly surprised that he would even wonder and said, “Isaac, you have no idea how much I love you. You will only understand when you have your own child how much I love you.”

And then I started to cry. Just so you know, I am a frequent crier. Click here and here and here and here for more details.

Fast forward to Friday – We learned some disappointing news about our OS. A normal day turned dark with just a mere phone call as we received information that was humbling and sad.

A Friday evening we had been looking forward to suddenly changed and we began the arduous process of loving our child even to make tough decisions and inflict severe punishment. You do not need to call Social Services, btw.

I know the pain of loss. I have felt the anguish of shame. I am familiar with anger, ahem…But last night was a new experience for me and that’s because I wasn’t the one who had perpetrated the offenses. It was my own child. A phone call from another mother brought to light things I didn’t know and I stood there in the same kitchen, near that same island and felt like sinking into the ground. The boy I pulled out of my own body 13 years ago and have loved fiercely ever had profoundly disappointed our family.

This is the boy who surprised us with beautiful red hair and has been the delight of my soul and also my greatest parenting challenge. My last baby and as any mama will understand, I would die for that child.

As sad as I feel, I have been moved by the prayers of others who became aware of more of the details I won’t share on this blog. God’s Word has refreshed, uplifted, encouraged and given me hope. How cool is it that last night after my OS was asleep, I began to do my Bible Study and was led to read Proverbs 28:13
He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

Before we began the process of addressing the issue, the Hubs, Ike and I held hands and prayed. After we were finished, purging the issues and explaining the punishments (plural!), we prayed. This morning as we sadly uncovered more things, our family which included Aaron and my mom, the Hubs, Ike and I held hands and prayed again each one taking a turn and speaking to the Lord, asking for His healing touch upon all effected.

There was no cursing, no hitting, no slamming doors or threats. Considering how I learned to deal with things in my past with my own family of origin, I can only point to Jesus and His Hand in this situation. At times I found myself shocked at how calm and patient the Hubs and I were as our son’s sins were brought to light. We were supposed to have fun last night! This was NOT FUN! When the Hubs tucked Ike in to bed last night, he prayed for him. We told him we loved him and we would get through this. We assured him there was victory over these things and though he might feel like his life was ending, through Christ, he can be restored and redeemed. It is so hard to be a seventh grader, can I get an amen!


Today is a new day with its own set of challenges and mercies. I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do…



Iron Gym Commercial

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I have a blog post that is nearly ready to publish but on this, the last day before my oldest OS goes back to West Point, I have chosen to pre–empt my scheduled post.


The one thing that Nathan said he wanted for Christmas was an Iron Gym. We are such amazing parents, we not only got Nate one, but another one for the middle OS Aaron. Yes, it’s true!


After dinner last night, (and I must share with you the really awesome thing we have been doing as a family), the OS cleaned the kitchen and then scurried upstairs. The next thing I know Aaron bounds downstairs in a skinny t-shirt and a crazy wig. He had applied camo paint all over his face and created slightly lifelike facial hair. Aaron has a flair for the dramatic which is an understatement. But this time Aaron had enlisted the help of his bros. They were going to make a video about the Iron Gym.

As I was sewing aprons downstairs, the Hubs and I could hear the chatter of our OS rehearsing their own Iron Gym commercial. See for yourself and then you’ll know just one more reason why I am going to miss my big boy and all the wacky things the three of them do together.

The Christmas Pickle Video 2009

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It has been a family tradition for many years. The day after Thanksgiving, we decorate our Christmas trees. Then when we are done, the Hubs and I dismiss our OS into another room and we continue another family tradition, the Hubs and I hide the Christmas pickle ornament somewhere on the tree. I’m not sure if the Christmas pickle is a Southern thing but we’ve been doing it since we moved here.


You might think that my OS are too old for such shenanigans, that they are too mature, too busy, too manly to engage in this family tradition. But you would be wrong. Very wrong. This year to our surprise, a new OS became the vanquisher and someone very shocking came in last place.

We give each OS an inexpensive gift for finding the pickle. Even at 19, 15 and 13 years old, they still expect a present. When one OS finds the pickle, he is automatically eliminated from the next round. I’m really making this sound more complicated than it is…

Hope you enjoy! Special shout out to middle OS Aaron for making what was now become another family tradition…a Christmas pickle video! And if you’re a glutton for punishment, check this out…

Sew not happening

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Ok, I’m sitting here watching the Army/Navy game. I am so not an athletic person but this is one game where I attempt to pay attention in the warm comfort of my home. I find myself crying at nearly every military commercial the television station runs.


And I’m making aprons. From about 5 in the morning, my little sewing machine is stitching away.

I pride myself on raising three godly OS who love Jesus and remember to put the toilet seat down after using it. My OS can cook, do laundry and iron. Not joyfully, mind you but nonetheless, they are developing into capable, competent men.

But apparently they have limits and they aren’t going to budge.

Don’t ask me why but I was cutting fabric to make some snake aprons (a future blog post to be sure) and I blithely ask my middle OS and my orange-haired, freckle faced OS a question which will live in infamy…

“Do you think that you guys would ever be interested in learning how to sew?” I inquire.

Aaron squirms and suddenly announces an urgent need to use the bathroom.

And without forethought or hesitation, with nary a consideration about how his precious mother might feel, my 13 year old Ike states, “I’d rather be castrated!”


Allrighty then, I guess that closes that subject! I didn’t think either one of them would be interested but it’s been confirmed, it ain’t happening.

My oldest OS is applying for some exciting overseas opportunities with West Point. They would take him far, far from home and be ridiculously exciting.

But then I had an idea…I told him that I was pretty sure there was going to be an exciting opportunity aka AIAD here in our neck of the woods. And you know what he said,

“Yeah but I heard it involves aprons so I’m not interested!”


How do you like that? Hmphf!

Boys will be boys. I will sew solo, get it?

Sew blessed

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Since I will never have a daughter, I have missed out on shopping sprees for dresses. I’m not complaining or feeling sorry for myself, it’s just a fact. I have also missed temper tantrums, crying fits with a moody daughter who can’t find anything to wear which is totally fine with me. Since I’m wildly crazy about my OS, I don’t spend a lot of time lamenting the fact that I don’t have a daughter, I just yank up my big girl panties and move on. Sorry for that word picture.


But in lieu of dress shopping, I have the privilege of guy shopping. Recently my OS Aaron announced to me, “Mom, you have to take me shopping!” I wasn’t sure of the reason until I inquired. That’s when Aaron emphatically reminded me of the Snow Ball, his school’s upcoming dance. It was like a V-8 moment…you know where the guy gets whacked up the side of the head? How could I forget?

However as soon as my 15 year old OS told me that, I also translated his sentence. Really what he was saying is, “Mom, I need for you to buy me some new clothes for the dance.” That’s when I asked my son, “Aaron, with what am I going to buy you some new clothes? I’m not sure we have the money for that.”

I could see that he was dejected but attempted to understand. I felt badly because I desperately wanted to do this for him.

That’s when I started to pray. “Lord, help me find a way to get Aaron some new clothes for the Snow Ball.”

I didn’t tell the Hubs of my prayer, it was just between God and me. I didn’t tell my friends so they would feel indebted to buy an apron so Aaron could have a new pair of pants or a sweater. I kept it just between the two of us, the Lord and myself. And do you know what happened? He heard my prayer, as He always does and this time, He honored it with a yes. In a week’s time, I had enough apron orders that I was able to say to my boy, “Aaron, I’m going to take you shopping and buy you some clothes with the apron money I earned this week.”


So last Saturday I took my middle OS out to lunch (used a coupon) and then we went shopping (with a coupon.) Our time was even more blessed because of who got us there (the Lord) and why (sweet folks wanting an apron). In my wildest dreams and prayers, never did I imagine that God would bless me so richly through aprons of all things!

The hugs and love my OS lavished upon me were reward enough. We had silly times as we tried to find pants that fit his trim frame and less than tall stature. It was like trying to find a needle in a haystack. The pants were too big or too long, nearly impossible to get the perfect size but alas we found a handsome outfit worthy of my boy! We left the store excited about the upcoming dance and envisioned all the ladies swooning around him as they admired his muscles, beauty and fancy new threads! HA!


I have been sewing like a crazy woman. My sewing machine is whirrrrrring all the time. There is fabric strewn throughout the house and I’m having a blast helping my family and being creative. The Lord truly does give us the desires of our heart and this moment with Aaron is one of many blessings I’ve received through His goodness manifested in APRONS. More to come, I can’t wait to tell you more stories like this!