Category Archives: love

Honoring in spite of Alzheimer’s

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photo 6It’s been nearly a year since my father-in-law abruptly left.

He did not die but disease and deception pulled him away.

Poof, he was gone.

No goodbye, no thank you, no I love you.

Ouch.

The wounds are healing. We have moved forward. We welcomed a Brazilian exchange student into our home for the school year. We now have a delightful dog. Two of our olive shoots proposed. The Hubs will enjoy a new knee in less than a month! We know how to keep things lively!

2014-05-23 17.01.07But as our ministry-minded middle announced his plans to marry, I envisioned the rehearsal dinner. I considered the food, the venue, flowers, decorations, it is one of my favorite things to do. Yet my spirit was unsettled about one major issue. How do we reconcile the fact that Aaron will probably never hear from his grandpa again? Although I will never understand the circumstances surrounding his strange departure or the vast amounts of pain this created, the Lord is sovereign. That’s the only part that gives me peace.

I do know that my FIL loved Aaron. He cared deeply about his grandkids, he was understandably proud of the men and women they had become.

2014-05-23 16.51.03That is why I included pictures of my husband’s parents’ wedding in the decorations. Unless you have been in a similar situation, you may not appreciate the significance. I also had a photo of my parent’s wedding even though my mom has remarried and my dad’s been gone for over 25 years. But positioning that little framed picture of my in-law’s on the table was like moving a boulder. I didn’t want to cause my husband any more anguish. In addition to not having my FIL with us, our Soldier would be missing the festivities due to his deployment to Qatar. The Hubs was ok with seeing the photo again, bless his incredible heart.

2014-05-23 16.55.26The placement of that wedding picture announced that the poison cocktail of Alzheimer’s, vascular dementia and deception would NEVER erase the good memories we cling to each day.

Joy and celebration conquered sadness and grief. We chose to honor and cherish.

On the other side of this life because of our faith in Jesus, we will see him again.

 

 

 

Remembering Memorial Day – what a Soldier did for his younger brother on his wedding day

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photo 1With all the festivities surrounding my middle olive shoot’s wedding on Saturday #hartleywedding

The emotions, planning, celebrating and expectation

I forgot about Memorial Day

Until yesterday driving home from Delaware!

Though we never forgot about our oldest son who is deployed in Qatar

And longed for him to be with us physically

Our hearts broke with the reality that wasn’t going to be possible

But we found a way to bridge the distance

Nate was a part of the ceremony

I’m still trying to take it all in – the beauty of the day, the sweetness of the Lord

photo 5Where do I begin?

On this Memorial Day, I honor my Soldier

I was escorted down the aisle by my orange hair, freckle face OS – so proud was I for this honor

But my husband didn’t walk alone behind me –

Parting from tradition, the Hubs was also escorted –

Our Soldier “walked” with his dad, carried on my husband’s iPhone

Then our Army Ranger “sat” on his dad’s lap and saw the wedding from the same perspective as the rest of us

It was about 6:15PM, Qatari time

Nate wore his Army fatigues

Observing the event in the middle of a desert

The pastor welcomed family and friends

He paused and told the crowd of about 140 people

Someone very significant was missing from the wedding

Aaron’s older brother, Nate

At that moment, this YouTube video was played

Our Army Ranger welcomed his new sister into the family and he read 1  Corinthians 13 from the Bible

photo 4

Nate reverently saw the bride and groom exchange vows thanks to Facetime

Oh friends, if you knew what comfort it was to have Nate with us

It’s a good thing I was sitting because I would have needed a chair

Such was the extent of pride and love I carried within me

In a way, we have already celebrated Memorial Day

We represent countless military families that get creative

Surmount the obstacles and offer support

What a day, what a life, what a fount of blessings

I scarce can take it in…

 

 

 

 

Five minute Friday – close

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photo 2Today we’re close to a life changing moment

Tomorrow amidst a throng of observers and before God, my middle olive shoot beholds a beautiful woman adorned in the loveliest of linensphoto 3

Walk down the aisle and become his wife forever.

For all these years, we have been a close family

Priding ourselves on raising our three olive shoots to be men of God, to be ready for this moment when they go from not only being our children but

Being someone else’s beloved for life

We are so close.

Tonight I prepare my heart and pray

Tonight I speak and cry

Tonight I welcome family and friends and the woman I have prayed for since Aaron was a wee one

And my prayer is that we will be close – my sweet boy and I and the woman we welcome to our family

10171703_10152894953923018_2252761905675416999_nHow could I not want that considering I never had a daughter biologically?

Moreover though I pray that these two young kids who really have no idea about the enormity of marriage

Because let’s face it, no one does and I’m 27 years into this thing

That they will have an intimacy with the Lord, a closeness to Him

photoI am so close to becoming a mother-in-law, I took a seminar about it and learned many “inside” tips!

It is scary, like I’m about to jump off a diving board and plunge into the unknown

Entering what has been called the most complicated human relationship

And my heart’s cry is for a closeness with the Father during our lives together

And with her, if that is her desire and the Lord’s.

Today we’re close to a life-changing moment. Amen.

Five minute Friday – paint

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photo 32 photo 31“We are going to do something fun on Sunday and I’m not going to tell what anything more.”

Taunting and bold words coming from a mom of an orange hair freckle face and a borrowed Brazilian olive shoot. Them’s is fighting words!

Two 17-year-old boys mused all week about the surprise.

They even tried to lure me to tell them more about the fantastic journey I had planned but no major clues were shared.

It was only when we pulled into the parking lot that the guys realized what was going to happen.

These very sports minded fellows were going to get artsy.

They were going to paint.

After some initial nervous fidgeting and awkwardness, they set about the task of enjoying themselves. Soon their blank canvases were lacquered with color, even a flickering shadow of creativity emerged. The Hubs was steely eyed as he painted a beautiful scene that almost seemed to scream to be made.

Soon these paintings will be hung in my kitchen.

A remembrance of a colorful moment off the beaten path of manhood

Much thanks to Five Minute Fridays, this is always a fun writing adventure!5-minute-friday-1

 

Five minute Friday – writer

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photo 1 photo 10 The first time I thought I might be a writer was in fifth grade

The new girl in school

I burst into tears during a math lesson

Numbers – I don’t get them, they’re dumb and stupid

But the teacher,

I wrote her a story

And slipped it to her in class one day and said, “Don’t tell anyone.”

I was afraid people would laugh at me

Because words – I get them, they feed me.

That blessed woman gave me hope

She returned the story with encouraging cursive words on my whimsical story

Kindness like bowl a slightly warmed vanilla ice cream with salted caramel served with a non-sticky spoon, that’s what it was like to my new girl heart.

Then I started giving stories to her regularly

Her praise fed my creativity, affirmed the longing in my heart to be a scribe of sorts.

Ophoto 30h Mrs. Schindel, I love you, if you only knew how you made me feel like a writer.

Is there someone who has inspired you? I could go on and on about this word!

Thanks for stopping  leave a  comment, writers love to know someone has read their work!

photo 9This blog post was initiated by Five minute Friday, so cool! 5-minute-friday-1

Five minute Friday – joy

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photo 28Because crying constantly throughout the day was exhausting

I needed a new hobby

A fresh focus

Something to bring a measure of joy over circumstances

Transcending struggle and sorrow

“I want a dog,” I tearfully told my husband.

And he knew I was serious.

We drove 800 miles to meet a four-legged 27 pound corgi/cattle dog thanks to an amazing program called Canine CellMates.

The wag of his tail, the jaunty way he carried his frame.

A dog that should for all practical purposes not be alive

Rescued in every way

Oliver Winslow1896954_10152767953028018_25996553_n

A stray near death, he spent seven weeks in the hospital re-  covering from his injuries

And then three months in Fulton County jail working with a handler who rehabilitated this forsaken boy

Oliver Winslow

Put sunshine back in my heart

A gift from the Creator, a sign of joy and pleasure from the Lord

An adorable, affectionate display of hope and redemption5-minute-friday-1

I began to smile and laugh again.

What does joy look like to you today? Special props to Five minute Friday for this happy word prompt!

We’ve got spirit, yes we do…

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This is a slightphoto 15 exaggeration

But I live for five days out of the year

More than Christmas, my birthday, Thanksgiving and the first and last days of school combined

My jam is

Spirit Week

That magical time in February when kids who attend a private Christian school with a strict uniform policy let their hair down

Five marvelous days filled with a daily theme, friendly competition, prizes and fun

Since my oldest olive shoot was in middle school, Spirit Week has been like my Super Bowl, my World Cup, my time to shine as a mom…

Or not

Because you see, as my three sons have oft reminded me,

Technically, it’s not MY Spirit Week

It’s theirs

Hrmph!photo 23

It’s an annual battle royal as we compete for control and preparation.

It’s private conversations between my friends as we ruminate about possible ideas all the while acting cool, calm and collected around our kids.

It’s when I google and Pinterest and imagine secretly wishing there was a Spirit Week for moms because we need it more than they do.

It’s me being the person who wants to plan ahead versus my olive shoots not wanting to think about any of it until maybe the night before, I’ll spare you the details since they are usually too painful to discuss.

But last week was Spirit Week and Monday was Pajama Day. In previous years I have sewn pajama pants for my boys. Heck, I even purchased grapefruit fabric about a year ago in anticipation of making Ike some citrus inspired sleeping pants because he loves him some grapefruit. To my chagrin, however, now as a junior in high school, Ike rebuffed my offer. This year he was boring but our borrowed Brazilian olive shoot wore this onesie which surely made the ladies swoon!photo 22

Perhaps the low-key Pajama Day was God’s way of giving me a slight Sabbath before the preparation for Tuesday-Thursday of Spirit Week.

I can’t wait to tell you about what we they I did!

Does anyone else know the joy and agony of Spirit Week???

Five minute Friday – small

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photo 15Take me back to those days

When I lived on Roosevelt Road in suburban Chicago

And though the cars and trucks sped past my little house

I would grab my sit-upon

(That I proudly made with my Girl Scouts troop)

And steal away from the traffic and the noise

A small girl

Both in proportion and power

And among the pussywillows and milk pods

Upon that treasured craft made of cloth and newspaperphoto 18

I’d read a book and

Go anywhere

A little girl in pigtails, not really a nature girl at all

Feeling small and invisible

Tucked in the woods near my house on the road

Hidden away – immersed in words, my sanctuary…

Today I ride my bike

A middle-aged woman fresh out of clearance to be able to use my foot again

And I pedal past nature

And hear the frogs chirping in unison

As they beckon me to remember

Those small times

I ride past the cat tails and the brush

Wishing I had a book and the courage to hide away again

5minutefriday(Oh this felt so good, to write again and to find a subject I could safely share). Others are writing about the word “small” today too. Check out the rest of the small people here and if you have an inkling, I’d love to hear your thoughts about the word “small.”

Five minute Friday – visit

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photo 17It was a Sunday night

Another Sunday night where my mobility is limited

And I am challenged to fight off another unwelcome visit from Depression

Too often these days as I sit on my bed and count the hours until I am FREE, Depression is my companion.

Nothing made this Sunday night any different until my son walked in with two of his buddies

And instantly the doldrums were lifted

Without any extra food, no advance planning

A spontaneous dinner party with four teenage boys ensued

Cheerfulness and hospitality visited

Friendship and fellowship stopped by

photo 18We supped on homemade pao de quiejo, (a dish that was visited upon us thanks to our borrowed Brazilian olive shoot), fresh green salad with homemade dressing, fried zucchini rounds and some leftover chicken. We all made the food together, no complaints, just fun and teamwork.

Those boys do not realize their arrival brought sunshine to this tired foot and soul

And in a way, we entertained angels unaware

How about you? What memories come to mind for you about the word “visit?” Any recent “visit” that especially encouraged you?photo 19

5minutefridayCheck out what other people are saying about this word on Five Minute Friday! It’s so interesting to read different perspectives!

Five minute Friday – encouragement

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2014-01-03 18.44.52 photo 14Encouragement is doing something because you want to not because it feels like an obligation.

It is going beyond a perfunctory one-word statement on a facebook wall – which I have done also to be fair

Unexpected flowers from my orange hair, freckle face olive shoot and a family friend - fragrant encouragement!

Unexpected flowers from my orange hair, freckle face olive shoot and a family friend – fragrant encouragement!

Those usually produce the opposite of encouragement, quite honestly

But encouragement is a stretch of action and heart to make an effort to say

You matter

I care

I want to help

You are not alone

Many times when I am feeling low, it’s hard to acknowledge I crave help and attention. What if people don’t follow through? What if they said they wanted to help but now suddenly, they make it clear it wasn’t really sincere? 5minutefriday

As I begin week three of recovering from foot surgery, the Lord has used unexpected people to encourage me

A visit from a busy mom after my surgery which then allowed my husband to take our son to see his fiancée in Delaware2014-01-03 19.45.57

A meal prepared by Brazilian friends who wouldn’t let me lift a foot or a finger!

A delicious choc olate/caramel apple beautifully wrapped and other tasty delights delivered with smiles and happiness

Homemade dinners and offers to take me out to run errands

A lunch after Bible study, a ride back home ❤

God has also used certain family members to make my immobile life bearable –

Encouragement gives the heart confidence to carry on

Thank you to all who encourage me on this blog and throughout life. It means so much!

How have others encouraged you this week?

This post was inspired by the sassy gang at Lisa-Jo Baker’s weekly Five Minute Friday!