This was a new one for me. I opened the mailbox and found a small package inside. Upon inspecting the label, I recognized my oldest OS’s handwriting. “Why how nice of Nate to send us a little package. What a thoughtful guy! Awww.” He hadn’t mentioned anything to me about this during our many telephone conversations so it was a special treat.
Then I read the back of the package and learned that my OS graciously sent us…(insert dramatic music)
And not just any applesauce, dear friends. CARBOHYDRATE ENHANCED APPLE SAUCE
And who’s the fine maker of CARBOHYDRATE ENHANCED APPLESAUCE??? It is compliments of the United States Army, thank you very much.
Nate sent his beloved family Army-issue MRE (meals ready to eat) applesauce – just rip open the pouch and squirt contents in your mouth. Slap yo mama good! NOT! Per my Soldier, it’s utterly horrible.
No one knows why some of the MREs have postage. He thought sending us applesauce would be awkward. I concur. But thank you Jesus he didn’t send us the “veggie omelet!” According to Nate, “It’s the nastiest thing ever. I don’t even think it’s real. It’s just a nasty, egg-white thing that you could literally slurp out of a straw.” Ew! I hate gelatinous things even more after hearing that!
Sometimes while out on the field, squad leaders randomly hand out the MREs. You can get something good or something “inhuman.” Occasionally, Nate has heard some of the guys yell, “Oh #%@$!” That means they got the dreaded omelet.
Back to the CARBOHYDRATE ENHANCED APPLESAUCE...why I can just see your mouths drooling with slobber. I know you’re jealous. How many moms get their sons to send them anything, let alone applesauce? Such is the life of a mama of three sons – one of whom will be a Cadet Corporal in just a few days!