sin | My Awesome Olive Shoots

And now for a deeper hoarding issue…

The washrag is gone. I am ok with it. At times I feel silly like, seriously, Cindy, get a grip. It was a stupid washrag. A Barney washrag at that. I probably spent less than $2 on the thing. And if I’m being real here and it’s my blog so I can do with it what I want, I am pushing away feelings of sadness that the threadbare Barney washrag is loosed from my home. It has absolutely no emotions, no nerve endings, it was a totally inanimate object but if I allow myself, I can feel sad for the washrag. Like it’s missing me. Just being real here.

Which then evokes feelings about other things I miss or anticipate missing. Loved ones who are gone, children who are growing, family members who are aging or ill, friends that disappointed me, hopes, dreams, the list goes on and on.

Which then brings forth feelings that I sometimes hoard.

Resentment, fear, bitterness and anger come to mind. Because of Christ, I have had great victory in this area. Nothing of my own doing, that’s for sure. Before coming to know the Lord, my list of hurts was very long. I embedded a lot of pain and used it as a weapon when necessary. But God in His faithfulness, not only removed all the items on that list, He also took care of the even longer list I had created for myself. Sins that are none of your business, others that I have shared here on this blog and publicly.

So I’m learning to let go and clean up. And like the clients featured on Hoarders, to maintain order, one must be vigilant. It doesn’t take too much time for physical and emotional issues to pile up. I must make room in my home and in my heart for new things. Getting rid of the Barney washrag was something the Lord prompted me to do. I hung onto it for days and had it near the trashcan and it took days for it to go. Something that weighed mere ounces suddenly was too heavy to move. Until last night, that is.

Enter dreamlike sequence…

Years ago, I found a diary from middle school. Not much was in it but the usual 12-13 year old girl drama. However, amidst the boy crazy musings, I flipped through the pages and discovered an entry about a family member I chose not to name. In this entry, I wrote about an especially mean thing this person had said to me. Now 3o years later, I held the pages in my hand and it was excruciating.

In my middle school girl’s handwriting; my adult woman’s eyes fixated on those nasty words. What was I to do? I brought the diary to my husband and showed him the entry and started crying. I am a frequent crier. Don’t believe me? Click here and here and here and here and here.

I didn’t need that memory or that reminder but how could I throw out MY diary??? How could I let that go?

It was then that the Hubs offered to do some-thing I could not do for myself. In a beautiful act of love, he offered to throw it away. I nodded and I never saw that diary or those words ever again.

The diary, the Barney washrag, old wounds and hurts need to be discarded. It is time for a new season. Those items were weathered and useless. I can no longer cling to them.

Tears are welling up in my eyes as I type but I need to share this. Maybe it’s just for me and this is a completely selfish post but if it’s for you, let me give you permission, let it go. Whatever the “it” is. Let. it. go.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-6

A Time for Everything

¹ There is a time for everything,and a season for every activity under heaven:

² a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,

³ a time to kill and a time to heal,a time to tear down and a time to build,

⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away…

In the last three weeks or so, I have learned about a number of natural remedies that can reduce gas. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect as I have been cooking my own beans…kidney, white, garbanzo, black turtle, beans of every kind are often on our dinner plate.

And as a result of my latest culinary adventure, it has become abundantly obvious or should I say odious to our family that we needed to either buy stock in Beano or find another alternative and I’ll just leave it at that…

So in an effort to educate you, here they are some

of those remedies. When cooking beans:

1. Put a piece of Kombu seaweed in with the water. Remove after beans are cooked and hopefully you will be toot-less.

2. Two teaspoons of epazote herb also known as Mexican tea can increase “digestability.”

3. Asofetida is a spice often used in Indian cooking and has anti-flatulent properties…

And it is the last herbal remedy that has given me a lot to think about.

I first learned about asofetida when the Hubs and I enjoyed a dinner at an Indian couple’s home. My friend Sangini told us it was often used to reduce gas and within days I was at the local Indian store purchasing my first and last jar of this “spice.” When I asked the store clerk to tell me a little more about asofetida, he said in a thick Indian accent replete with hand gestures, “VERY STRONG! USE A LITTLE!”

As soon as I got into the car, I had the worst taste in my mouth. I hadn’t eaten lunch, hadn’t vomited (I don’t normally vomit while driving, fyi) and drove in my car baffled as to why I was overcome with a profound sense of nausea.

I ran some errands and upon returning home, I told the Hubs about my recent purchase. I was eager to try my asofetida and completely intent on heeding the nice man’s words.

But that horrid taste wouldn’t leave me alone. I twisted the top of the asofetida, put my nose up to the jar and nearly died. There aren’t enough words but I’ll try…

What does asofetida smell like? Hmmm, and I’m being very nice here, how about smelly, hairy armpits that have been soaking in rotting onions for about a year?

Why I didn’t throw out the fetid asofetida remains a mystery but instead I put it in a spice cabinet. The next day, I opened that spice cabinet, looking for something and you’ll never guess what happened…Yes, I found myself AGAIN nearly bowled over by that most utterly disgusting smell which I have since learned is also called Devil’s Dung!

Fast forward to Tuesday which is our trash day and I couldn’t take it anymore because I noticed that the entire spice cabinet was reeking. I asked the Hubs to put the asofetida in the trash for fear that soon the smell would overtake the kitchen. He’s a good hubs so he complied. Mind you, the asofetida had only been opened one time for maybe a second a few days prior. Never after that.

Tuesday morning I had to throw some other stuff out in the trash and I opened the lid. The waft of a week’s worth of trash was secondary to the hauntingly dreadful taste and flavor of asofetida! I have since learned that in the days of the American Wild West, asofetida and its sulfurous smell was once thought to be a cure for alcoholism when mixed with other spices. No surprise here!

As I have looked upon our last week, I have thought about sin. Sin is like asofetida. You don’t need a lot of it to invade aspects of your life. It stinks and smells and can be hard to chase away. It lingers and has an aftertaste. Depending on the nature of the sin, it can be overwhelming and sickening.

I have experienced spiritual asofetida and been guilty of opening a giant jar of it, if you know what I mean. The only cure for sin is Jesus. I tried many other remedies, all which fell short of the cleansing power of Christ. That doesn’t mean I don’t goof up and make mistakes but I have had victory in many areas and struggles in my life and the only reason for that is because Jesus is my hope and salvation.

Check these verses found in the Bible…

Psalm 103: 9-13 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.

Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake,

and remembers your sins no more.

Hebrews 8:12 For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.

We never had the chance to use asofetida to cure gas but I maintain it was still a wise purchase. It only cost $1.50 but God used that spice to reach every one of my five senses and remind me of all the stinky stuff He has cast away into the sea of forgiveness never to be spoken of again.